几则笑话

那天在美国杂志上看到以下几则笑话，很幽默，特翻译给大家分享：

1. My wife and I hate raking leaves. I leaned on my rake, looked gloomily at the task before me and commented, "I'll bet every leaf for miles has blown into our yard."
"They should," she replied. "They know where they're safe."

我的妻子和我都不喜欢清扫落叶。我靠着我的扫耙，沮丧地看着我面前的任务，说道:“我敢打赌，数英里内每一片叶子都被风吹进我们的院子里。” 　　
“他们应当如此,”她回答道。“他们知道哪儿安全。”

2. While I sat in the reception area of my doctor's office, a woman rolled an elderly man in a wheelchair into the room.  As she went to the receptionist's desk, the man sat there, alone and silent.  Just as I was thinking I should make small talk with him, a little boy slipped off his mother's lap and walked over to the wheelchair.  Placing his hand on the man's, he said, "I know how you feel.  My mom makes me ride in the stroller, too."

当我坐在医生的接待室时，一个女士推着坐在轮椅的年长男士进了屋子。她走到柜台前，男士则孤独又安静地坐在那里。我正想我应该与他闲聊几句，一个小男孩脱离他母亲的膝头，走到轮椅边。他把手放在那人手上，说:“我知道你的感受。我妈妈也让我坐在手推车里。”

3. My friend Bob insisted his wife was getting hard of hearing.  One night he walked into the kitchen as she was making dinner, her back to him, and said, "Peg, whatcha making?"  No response. 
He tried again, a little louder. "Peg! Whatcha cooking?"  Again, no response.
Bob shook his head.  Poor thing just couldn't hear him.  As loud as he could, he shouted, "Peg!  What are you cooking?"
Peg turned around, exasperated. "For the third time, Bob, I said chicken."

我的朋友鲍勃坚持认为他的妻子听力有问题。有一天晚上，他走进厨房，他妻子正背对着他在做晚餐。他问:“帕戈，你在做什么？”没有任何回应。　　
他又试了一次，大声一点。“帕戈，你在做什么菜？” 还是没有任何回应。　　
鲍勃摇了摇头。可怜的人，听不到他的声音。他尽可能大声地喊道:“帕戈，你在做什么菜？”
帕戈转过身，恼火地道：“第三次了，鲍勃，我说鸡肉。”

4. Politicians are like geometry.  They know all the angles and talk in circles.

政客们如同几何学。他们知道所有的角度；他们说话绕着圈子。


下面这则是哈城好友今天电邮給轻舟的，也很有趣。。。可见中国同音（谐音）字泛滥和方言多样性，容易产生误会，因此多了笑话：

人口普查

昨天快下班時接了一个电话，是个女的打來的。
「你好，我是人口普查員，请问你家是几口人？」
我答：「我家是一口人。」
普查員：「十一口人？」
我說：「不是十一口人，而是一口人。」
普查員：「啊！二十一口？怎么又变二十一口人了？」
我耐著性子說：「你听錯了，其实一口人。」
普查員：「七十一口人？怎么会那么多啊？」
我终于爆发了，吼道：「就是一口人！」
普查員：「九十一口？天哪...... 」
我頓時崩潰。。。。。