正文
Dad took me out of the bathtub and made me dry myself with a big bath towel. I put on my pajamas quickly, stepping into the bedroom where I had slept with my Mama for just one month. It was so quiet today, without any more fighting, that only my stepping sounds and the flowing water from the bathroom went through my ears. I climbed into bed, got under the quilt, and shivering lay on my back looking around the room. I felt scared because the room was too big to find where I was. I pulled up the quilt to cover my nose, smelled the fragrance that was from my Mama’s body, deeply breathed once, and again wondered if it would go away like my Mama. My Mama was no longer here in my home which had been belonged to Mama, Dad and me. I didn’t know where my Mama was tonight. She said she would come to see me later.
One month before, I was brought to New York City by my father. At the airport, I kissed and said “good bye” to my grandparents who had been taking care of me for four years in Shanghai. I checked my Cat-bag again which was packed with a picture I drew of my dear Mama and my favorite doll which was a gift from her last New Year. “Show Mama the picture you drew.” On the verge of tears, grandma was stroking my hair. She said, “Make your Mama happy. Make them go out together with you. You should be an obedient girl. Do you remember?” I looked at Grandma's careworn face and nodded. Sadly then, I followed my father and a lot of blue eyes and yellow haired people boarded.
Dad finished his shower, coming into the bedroom quietly. I closed my eyes and pretended to fall asleep. I breathed the warm air that was from Dad’s nose when he was touching my face softly. A tear drop fell to my cheek. I tasted the “bitter” with my Dad. I regretted what I had done.
The first week after I arrived New York, my parents took me out alternately even though I insisted again and again that I wanted to go out with both of them. Each time, though, Mama claimed that she had to go work whenever Dad wanted to make her go out with us. One day, after dinner, I drew a picture in which all three of my family were smiling sweetly in front of The Statue of Liberty. Dad praised me for my great work and encouraged me to show it to Mama. I ran delightedly to the bedroom, shouting “Mama, Mama”. The bedroom was locked. I heard my Mama talking on the phone. I went back to Dad with disappointment. Dad rushed to the bedroom in a great anger, knocking on the door loudly. I put my drawing face down into the bottom of my drawer when they were fighting.
Dad left the bedroom. I opened my eyes, got up from my bed, and opened my drawer again as quietly as possible. The doll was still lying on my drawings, lonely like me. I picked her up, and returned into my quilt. Holding her in my arms, I thought of my Grandma’s warning, “Be an obedient girl”. But I had let my parents fight.
Three days before the worst thing had finally happened. Mama took me out to dinner. During our dinner, she was staring at me with tears rolling down her face. I said “Mama, I will be an obedient girl. Trust me. I will never make you angry. I swear.” Mama used a handkerchief to cover her mouth, trying to muffle the sounds of her sobbing. “Don’t hate Mama. Mama can’t live with your father any longer, but you will be our beloved daughter forever. It will never change”. My heart was dropping like an elevator going down and down. I didn’t know where the bottom was. “I will come to see you frequently.” Mama changed the word “back home” to “come”. My home would not be Mama’s home. WHY? I was eager to return to Shanghai to cry loudly in my Grandma’s arms.
I was lying on the bed where Mama slept with me before. No more Mama’s holding, no more Mama’s soft stories I was still here. I thought if I had cried and begged Mama not to leave me, she would have stayed home with me, but I did not. My baby-sitter told me: “Keeping fingers crossed, you can realize your dream”. I kept my fingers crossed tightly, holding my pitiful doll and smelling my Mama’s fragrance. I was waiting for Mama to come back tonight.
One month before, I was brought to New York City by my father. At the airport, I kissed and said “good bye” to my grandparents who had been taking care of me for four years in Shanghai. I checked my Cat-bag again which was packed with a picture I drew of my dear Mama and my favorite doll which was a gift from her last New Year. “Show Mama the picture you drew.” On the verge of tears, grandma was stroking my hair. She said, “Make your Mama happy. Make them go out together with you. You should be an obedient girl. Do you remember?” I looked at Grandma's careworn face and nodded. Sadly then, I followed my father and a lot of blue eyes and yellow haired people boarded.
Dad finished his shower, coming into the bedroom quietly. I closed my eyes and pretended to fall asleep. I breathed the warm air that was from Dad’s nose when he was touching my face softly. A tear drop fell to my cheek. I tasted the “bitter” with my Dad. I regretted what I had done.
The first week after I arrived New York, my parents took me out alternately even though I insisted again and again that I wanted to go out with both of them. Each time, though, Mama claimed that she had to go work whenever Dad wanted to make her go out with us. One day, after dinner, I drew a picture in which all three of my family were smiling sweetly in front of The Statue of Liberty. Dad praised me for my great work and encouraged me to show it to Mama. I ran delightedly to the bedroom, shouting “Mama, Mama”. The bedroom was locked. I heard my Mama talking on the phone. I went back to Dad with disappointment. Dad rushed to the bedroom in a great anger, knocking on the door loudly. I put my drawing face down into the bottom of my drawer when they were fighting.
Dad left the bedroom. I opened my eyes, got up from my bed, and opened my drawer again as quietly as possible. The doll was still lying on my drawings, lonely like me. I picked her up, and returned into my quilt. Holding her in my arms, I thought of my Grandma’s warning, “Be an obedient girl”. But I had let my parents fight.
Three days before the worst thing had finally happened. Mama took me out to dinner. During our dinner, she was staring at me with tears rolling down her face. I said “Mama, I will be an obedient girl. Trust me. I will never make you angry. I swear.” Mama used a handkerchief to cover her mouth, trying to muffle the sounds of her sobbing. “Don’t hate Mama. Mama can’t live with your father any longer, but you will be our beloved daughter forever. It will never change”. My heart was dropping like an elevator going down and down. I didn’t know where the bottom was. “I will come to see you frequently.” Mama changed the word “back home” to “come”. My home would not be Mama’s home. WHY? I was eager to return to Shanghai to cry loudly in my Grandma’s arms.
I was lying on the bed where Mama slept with me before. No more Mama’s holding, no more Mama’s soft stories I was still here. I thought if I had cried and begged Mama not to leave me, she would have stayed home with me, but I did not. My baby-sitter told me: “Keeping fingers crossed, you can realize your dream”. I kept my fingers crossed tightly, holding my pitiful doll and smelling my Mama’s fragrance. I was waiting for Mama to come back tonight.
Thanks for sharing.