花间书斋
成功之门原来虚掩着
《沁园春》长沙英译
让你等急了吧？因为周末还要上班，所以迟迟才译完发过来。你总是在把我往火上烤。古典诗词，尤其是毛泽东的诗词，那是诗词中的桂冠，我最多只能编编草帽。编草帽的水平你非上我做桂冠，实在强我所难。有句佛语说：无力饮池河，讵言吞大海。说实话，编草帽都整不好，遑论制作桂冠。没有金刚钻，别揽瓷器活儿。我本该有自知之明，但由于盛情难却，不好使你失望，也只好硬着头皮出丑了。我翻译的风格就是大白话，连句尾的押韵都没有考虑。请别见笑。体例是原诗句紧接你的译文，我的译文则标出宋译字样。请注意：为了尽量减少字母数量，我采取不少简缩形式，如d = th, de = the, deir = their, in’ = ing, ‘f = of, ‘d = ed.
宋德利
《沁园春》长沙 1925
《Qinyuanchun》Changsha 1925
毛泽东著
宋德利译
独立寒秋，There, I stand a chilly Autumn day, arms-fold.
湘江北去，looking the river (Xiang) flow north-wards,
橘子洲头。an island in midst of the river, sunlit gold,
宋译：
Standin’ alone on a chilly autumn day wid arms foldin’
I’m watchin’ de Xiangjiang River flow northwards
From de Orange Isle bath’d in sunlight glowin’ as gold
看万山红遍，When you turn you head slow, see, mountains red,
层林尽染；forests painted by stylists or artists who knows
漫江碧透，looking down from the rocks stood, river bluer n' wooden boats
百舸争流。hundredths of them, up-stream in turbulence, they Go!
宋译：
Look! mounts upon mounts brightly red
N layers upon layers of forests colorful as paint’d;
On de crystal green river
Many a boat busily.come n go.
鹰击长空，While eagles high up relaxing, look from their wings below
鱼翔浅底，but deep down in the water, you see fishes lazily swim shallow
万类霜天竞自由。Free, only at large, open, natural, universal, U know!
宋译：
Eagles r soarin’ up to de skies;
Fishes r swimmin’ above de shallow river bank.
All creatures r freely struggllin’under de autumn heavens.
怅寥廓，Oh, from higher in sky, or the water below, only, people puzzle,
问苍茫大地，On this land, huge kingdoms built
谁主沉浮？to whom they belong? Who rules, order, n' can say No?
宋译：
Facin’ de broad sceney, I feel puzzled
N ask de earth:
Who decides deir destiny?
携来百侣曾游, Enchanting, n' inviting, visitors n' lovers unknown
忆往昔，fronted by old160; memories gold, in stories
峥嵘岁月稠。 unfold and told.
宋译：
Having brought my frends, I once visited here.
Recalling de past,
I think of many’s de eventful years.
恰同学少年，Our times over the books, bravo,
风华正茂；as if we will grow never old,
书生意气，romantic, words and wills
挥斥方遒。energy full, we write poetry remarkable
宋译：
At such a time when quite youn’,
We students were full of vigor;
On our mettle
We were bold n flowin’.
指点江山，On top of the mountains, we left songs, not only jokes,
激扬文字，Words! exciting, and excited as we were,
粪土当年万户侯。but those shit old-riches silly and old?
宋译：
Pointin’ at de river n mounts,
N writing critical essays,
We counted the mighty no more than muck.
曾记否，Shouldn't forget, times highlight bold,
到中流击水，the fun in mid of water, we swam
浪遏飞舟？in the waves flip and wash away the boat
宋译：
Still remember
That we once swam in midstream
Wid waves holdin’ back de swift boats?
Have a nice week.
But, a little "but", you have so much beautiful English at hand, why not try some "DIY" work? I, myself, have tried anyway, for good or bad.
Nevertheless, highly appreciate your work.