WHAT IS LOVE?
It seems a difficult question to most of us, for the same question comes back to us again and again, generation after generation and century after century. Though it could be different in depth, scope and characteristics, it must have something to do with strong feelings of affection or fondness of someone.
Many times we just don’t feel the word LIKE is strong enough to reflect our level of emotion, so many of us use the word LOVE to express our feelings towards our family members, friends, co-workers, bosses or subordinates, rivalries (like in tennis) and even enemies (like in WWII between some British and German pilots, based on a story I read decades ago), not to mention romantic lovers.
Only when it involves the possibility of romantic feelings does LOVE start to make people confused, even hurt when the two are not on the same page as to the expectation and the characteristics of a love. Why? Because people tend to expect something back and try to reach an equal level between the two. They will either try to hide, or take back a little when they have sensed an imbalance. But adjustments are not always necessary in other relations, where imbalance is more acceptable.
Romantic love is an eternal theme for human beings. But it is can be a hot potato too in terms of hurt, which makes people afraid or fear. It all comes to the expectation. If we were all willing to give more and expect less, we would see much more love than what we do now in this world.
Does a romantic feeling have to lead to a physical relationship, or even a shared life? Personally, I don’t believe so. Sometime such a feeling stays with you forever although even a slightest physical touch has never occurred. It might just simply mean that if one ever had a chance to meet the other in the next life, she/he would be willing to share more.
I also believe a true love should only generate more love, not harm or destruction. The Zero-Sum games should be replaced by Win-Win ones, which apply to many siblings (not exactly): We don’t split our parents’ love among our kids, rather we provide each child with more.
But it takes passion, effort, patience and skills to make the best out of our life.
SO WHAT ARE WE AFRAID OF?
If you convey your feelings toward her/him in a professional way, the chance is you will see the adjustment is really a two-way thing. Otherwise you will end up being the only one who is constantly making the adjustment while never able to hit a moving target.