5 Fundamentals of Effective Parenting
(2005-11-04 20:23:57)
下一个
city parent上看到的.介绍一本书,挺有意思.转抄一部分.
http://www.haltonsearch.com/hr/cp/column/story/3131577p-3631015c.html
书名和作者:
Rosemond, John, Family Building: The 5 Fundamentals of Effective Parenting, Andrews McMeel Publising, Kansas City, 2005
主要内容:
Rosemond feels that we've managed to make parenting way more complicated than it needs to be. Our grandparents generation managed to raise children without letting the process consume them. That generation managed to raise children while also getting themselves through a depression and a world war.
Were they fretting over which soccer program their kids should be in? Did they spend much time chauffeuring junior from Kumon to gymnastics to swimming lessons?
That generation of parents weren't interested in being their child's best friend. They were interested in raising good kids. Instead of listening to experts opinions on how they should be parenting, they used common sense. They didn't call a psychologist when they ran into problems ... they walked down the street and asked advice of a friend who might have gone through a similar problem
Rosemond's "5 Fundamentals" are
1. It's about the family, and not the children.
A good marriage comes first," he writes. "And -- heaven forbid -- limit a child's activities. This creates more time for family ..."
2. It's about communication, not consequences; leadership, not relationship
Disciplining the child is not about rules but more about them understanding the need for rules and respect for parents' authority."
3. It's about respecting others, not high self-esteem
Teach your child humility and modesty. Children with an inflated self-esteem are more likely to become depressed when they get out in the real world because they are no longer receiving unconditional positive feedback."
4. It's about manners and morals, not skills
Rosemond says as fundamental number four. "Parents need to spend less time taking kids to extracurricular events and more time instilling good manners."
5. It's about responsibility, not high achievement."
Rosemond feels that we shouldn't fight our kids' battles for them. Accountability is more important than accolades according to Rosemond. If we really respect our children, we'll expect a lot of them.