Selective mutism – Parent Strategy: Babysitter

• Who: Amy, babysitter, neighborhood kids, friends
• Location: Amy’s house
• Environment: outside, relaxed
• Worry Level: 3
• Purpose: how to get Amy to participate and talk to a babysitter
• What is Happening: Amy’s parents have paid a babysitter to come and take care of Amy and some friends for a day. Amy is unfamiliar with the babysitter.

Strategy and Scene

1. Prepare for everything

• Tell Amy that a new babysitter is going to be coming
• For a new babysitter, talk to the babysitter beforehand about SM, give tips and strategies on how to help Amy
• Have Amy’s friends already at the house and playing together

2. For the babysitter:  Keep Amy busy

• Be creative: create fun activities that Amy will like to do and inform the babysitter of them
• Keep the girls busy by playing nonverbal and verbal games such as: follow the leader, wave to passing cars, talk to people passing by
• Eat good food together to relax Amy
• Fade-in/Fade-out: The babysitter will play a game with AMy first, and friends will join in one by one

Eventually, the babysitter will go out of the group and Amy will play with her friends. this cycle keeps going, with the babysitter going in and out of the group

Today is Friday and Amy is off from school. Amy invited her neighborhood and school friends to come play at her house. That day, Amy’s parents had to run some errands and weren’t home. So, Amy’s parents invited Kathy to come over and babysit Amy and her friends. “Hi everyone, my name is Kathy and and I am your babysitter”, said Kathy with a smile. She casually looked around the room, and her eyes skimmed over the kids.

Many of Amy’s friends responded back to Kathy. Amy saw Kathy, who was a stranger to her, and her stomach began to feel upset. Amy quickly glanced up at Kathy and continued to play with her toys. Since Amy’s mom told Kathy ahead of time about Amy’s selective mutism, Kathy knew how to approach and talk to Amy. Due to this, Kathy did not focus all of her attention on Amy in the beginning. She did not try to talk with Amy right away and instead made small talk with the other children.

“Amy, your mom told me you have many board games at your house would you like to take them out so we can all play with them?” said Kathy. After hearing the Kathy wanted to play with her favorite board games, Amy excitedly jumped up and went to grab them. “Amy is it alright if I first play one round with you?” asked Kathy. Amy nodded and started to play the board game with Kathy, the other children gathered around them and watched. To encourage Amy to talk Kathy purposely played a wrong move. Amy did not want to directly talk to Kathy, so she told her best friend Julie that Kathy’s move was not right.

Julie repeated Amy’s message to Kathy, and Kathy happily told Amy, “thanks for letting me know, you are playing great!” After hearing Kathy’s words, Amy’s nerves were able to relax. Slowly, Kathy invited Amy’s other friends to play and stood nearby to watch. Some of the children did not know how to play so Kathy invited Amy to stand by and teach them. Amy was so happy to teach the other kids her favorite games. After many rounds of games, Amy was able to finally relax. Now when Kathy was playing a game with Amy, Amy talked directly to her.

When it was time for dinner, Kathy helped to get the food ready. Amy did not think Kathy was a stranger anymore and everyone sat around the table happily talking. Time passed by fast, and Amy’s mom returned back home. Kathy and Amy’s friends slowly left and said goodbye to Amy. Before Kathy left, she gave Amy a warm hug and Amy waved to her as she left.

Tip: If you have a selective mutism child allow your child and the babysitter to understand the situation ahead of time. Have the babysitter not put too much emphasis that the child has selective mutism. If the child talks do not act in surprise or shock, and allow your child’s close friends to come earlier to your house. Your babysitter should be informed ahead of time your child’s favorite games and encourage the child to play, eat, and interact with others.

作者俊华,艾米妈 。 如有需要，加微信：junwang08837，艾米妈邀你进 “选择性缄默症家长分享群”。

选择性缄默症包括语言恐 Speech Phobia，感知障碍 Sensory Disorder, 社交恐惧 Social Anxiety 。 关键词： 孩子为什么不说话，孩子在外面不说话，孩子不敢说话，和陌生人不说话，社交恐惧，孩子在幼儿园和学校不说话，害羞，敏感，胆子小，懦弱，怕生，内向，没自信，固执，不敢吃饭，不敢去厕所，不敢和小朋友玩，，在家讲话，出门不讲话。只和爸爸妈妈说话， 不敢参加集体活动。