2007 (170)
2010 (86)
“There is something under my skin recently.” One day, M told me on the way back home.
“What is it? Why do you think so?”
“I do not know. But I hate someone else sitting beside me while I am in the office. I am not able to concentrate on what I am doing.”
“Hmm. That is difficult. You have to share the office with somebody else except you yourself are the boss.” I teased her.
Actually, her problem was just too easy to get disturbed. I believe people have different thresholds for distraction or disturbance. Take one of my colleagues as an example. He always felt annoyed about receiving emails from our secretary, who, in average, informed us 6-7 times through email daily. He used to spit out sarcastically that she really needed a hobby. I do not know why it bothered him so much. She simply thought it was the best way to finish her job. Don’t like it? Delete it. As simple as this.
Living in a community, one unavoidably meets those whom he/she is not able to get along with or even dislikes. Not surprisingly, those pet peeves irritate people from time to time, if not always. People do need private space and a peaceful mind. So, how to filter and deal with annoyance? My techniques include setting up a goal and focusing on it, trying to understand the way people behave and leave it alone. Most importantly, choose to have a positive healthy attitude towards those distractions. It is only you who is qualified to control your mood, action and life.
Thank you Rebecca. Serenity in mind is what I am looking for. The prayer does help.
Serenity Prayer
God...
Grant me the serenity
to accept the things
I cannot change...
courage to change
the things I can...
and wisdom to know
the difference.
http://blog.wenxuecity.com/blogview.php?date=200706&postID=10583
I guess, in the office, she doesn't like people around, that's her limit and personal characteristic. Because she is easy to be distracted. Or it could be that those people's behaviors and manners bother her.
To me, it's simply a personal preference. She needs to figure out a way. Either like you suggested "focus on" or adapt herself to the condition.
Regarding of being distracted or disturbed, I think people around and their manner impose much stronger influence than the environment itself. In my friend's case, if there were nobody around her, she would be fine. So it was the person who made her feel annoyed. I do agree sometimes one finds excuses for hiding their own anxiety. That is why I think people should depend on themselves to get rid of the negative influences rather than blaming on others. Maybe meditation is a good way to ignore those irritating things.
For instance, M, your friend, I guess she is somehow anxious once she sits in the office, in other enviorments, people around probably wouldn't bother or distract her that much. However, in the office, it is beyond her tolerance. Then she becomes much more demanding than usual.
Sometimes, people use excuses, such as, "easy to be distracted; I cant stand anybody around".... to hide their root problems-- the anxiety for certain things. It's a psychological matter.
I personally dont think that telling them "Jing Xin" would help. Sometimes, nothing could help unless the person is off that situation or enviorment.
Btw, today hubby and I gonna go to Chinese consulate for his visa to China, then do lunch. Gosh, how come I don't miss Shanghai that much, but I can't wait to see my parents and brother and niece.
I might call you tonight for your treatment to my PMS. ;-))
xoxo
I am not so sure if it is related to introvert and extrovert. I guess introverted people could also be distracted yet manifest as an invisible way. I believe the more one concentrate on his goal, the less likely he would be distracted or, at least, the more likely finding a way to tolerate it and solve it.
sorry, serious again. hehe...