弗洛姆：‘Today we come across an individual who behaves like an automaton, who does not know or understand himself, and the only person that he knows is the person that he is supposed to be, whose meaningless chatter has replaced communicative speech, whose synthetic smile has replaced genuine laughter, and whose sense of dull despair has taken the place of genuine pain. Two statements may be said concerning this individual. One is that he suffers from defects of spontaneity and individuality which may seem to be incurable. At the same time it may be said of him he does not differ essentially from the millions of the rest of us who walk upon this earth.'
Stephen Covey: 'Sandra and I believe that our son's "socially impressive" accomplishments were more a serendipitous expression of the feelings he had about himself than merely a response to social reward. This was an amazing experience for Sandra and me, and a very instructional on in dealing with our other children and in other roles as well. '
豆豆的儿子 (摘自淑女司令博客）
豆豆：“你在班上得第一开心吗？”
儿子：“开心，可不得也没有不开心”
豆豆：“为什么不想事事都得第一呢？比如你稍微认真些，就能满分，作文多写一页
读起来就好的多。。”
儿子：“为什么非要得第一，要做得最好呢？”
豆豆：“这样你会觉得很有成就感，很为自己骄傲呀”
儿子：“有了成就感又怎么样呢？我不得第一也很为自己骄傲呀”
豆豆：“有了成就感你会将来很成功，会很开心很幸福”
儿子一下子抓住这句话：“哈，这就是你们和我的不同。老实说我觉得你们大人很
可怜，你们自己不会开心，非得需要事业需要成就使自己快乐幸福。我不一样，我已经很开心幸福了，不需要这些成就。。。。我将来可能不是最成功，可我觉得那不重要，我不会是最差的那种，而且我会一直开心”。
‘然后他以一种略带怜悯的胜利的眼光看着我。’
