笑吧!想不心怀悲悯都难,是不是?

"It ain't what you don't know that gets you into trouble. It's what you know for sure that just ain't so." - Mark Twain

2006 Darwin Awards

Yes, it's again that magical time of
the year when the Darwin Awards are
bestowed, honoring the least evolved among us.

Here is the glorious Winner:

1. When his 38-caliber revolver failed
to fire at his intended victim during a
hold-up in Long Beach, California,
would-be robber James Elliot did
something that can only inspire
wonder. He peered down the barrel and tried
the trigger again. This time it worked.

And now, the Honorable Mentions:

2. The chef at a hotel in Switzerland
lost a finger in a meat-cutting machine
and submitted a claim to his insurance
company. The company, expecting negligence,
sent out one of its men to have a look for
himself. He tried the machine and he also
lost a finger. The chef's claim was approved.


3. A man who shoveled snow for an hour to
clear a space for his car during a blizzard
in Chicago returned with his vehicle to find
a woman had taken the space. Understandably,
he shot her.

4. After stopping for drinks at an illegal
bar, a Zimbabwean bus driver found that the
20 mental patients he was supposed to be
transporting from Harare to Bulawayo had
escaped. Not wanting to admit his incompetence,
the driver went to a nearby bus stop and
offered everyone waiting there a free ride.
He then delivered the passengers to the
mental hospital, telling the staff that
the patients were very excitable and
prone to bizarre fantasies. The deception
wasn't discovered for 3 days.

5. An American
teenager was in the hospital recovering
from serious head wounds received from
an oncoming train. When asked how he
received the injuries, the lad told police
that he was simply trying to see how close
he could get his head to a moving train
before he was hit.

6. A man walked into a Louisiana Circle-K,
put a $20 bill on the counter, and asked for
change. When the clerk opened the cash drawer,
the man pulled a gun and asked for all the cash
in the register, which the clerk promptly
provided. The man took the cash from the
clerk and fled, leaving the $20 bill on
the counter. The total amount of cash he got
from the drawer: $15. (If someone points a
gun at you and gives you money, is a crime
committed?)

7. Seems an Arkansas guy wanted some beer
pretty badly. He decided that he'd just
throw a cinderblock through a liquor store
window, grab some booze, and run. So he
lifted the cinderblock and
heaved it over his head at the window.
The cinderblock bounced back and hit the
would-be thief on the head, knocking him
unconscious. The liquor store window was
made of Plexiglas. The whole event was
caught on videotape.

8. As a female shopper exited a New York
convenience store, a man gabbed her purse
and ran. The clerk called 911 immediately,
and the woman was able to give them a
detailed description of the snatcher.
Within minutes, the police apprehended
the snatcher. They put him in the car
and drove back to the store. The thief
was then taken out of the car and told
to stand there for a positive ID. To which
he replied, "Yes, officer, that's her.
That's the lady I stole the purse from."

9. The Ann Arbor News crime column reported
that a man walked into a Burger King in
Ypsilanti,
Michigan, at 5 a.m., flashed a gun, and
demanded cash. The clerk turned him
down because he said he couldn't open
the cash register without a food order.
When the man ordered onion rings, the
clerk said they weren't available for
breakfast. The man, frustrated, walked away.

10. When a man attempted to siphon
gasoline from a motor home parked
on a Seattle Street, he got much more
than he bargained for. Police arrived
at the scene to find a very sick man curled
up next to a motor home near spilled
sewage. A police spokesman said that
the man admitted to trying to steal
gasoline and plugged his siphon hose
into the motor home's sewage tank by
mistake. The owner of the vehicle
declined to press charges, saying that
it was the best laugh he'd ever had.