It is Okay to be Different

There is this book our babysitter Eriko bought for Olivia and Evan called “It is Okay to be Different” by Todd Parr. It is such a good book that I think every child should read it.

The book teaches children that it is okay to be missing a tooth, to wear glasses, to look different, to need help, to talk about your feelings, to eat macaroni and cheese in the bathtub (I am not sure about this one but this one is their favorite), to say no to bad things, to be embarrassed, to come in the last in a competition, to dance by yourself, to be proud of yourself, to have different moms and dads, to be adopted, to do something nice to someone, to loose the mittens, to get mad, to do something nice to yourself, to have different kinds of friends because “you are special and important just because of being who you are.”

While we adults can sure learn something from this book as well, feeling the pressure from what I heard at the Chinese parties I went to, I found myself constantly trying to convince myself:

It is okay for Olivia not to learn piano like all her Chinese little friends do at her age;

It is okay that she does not play any sports;

It is okay that she does not take art class and play soccer once a week, go to swimming twice a week, and go to Low’s craft workshop every month like Christopher does;

It is okay if she does not go to a private school like some of her Chinese friends do;

It is okay if she does not make the gifted program in school;

It is okay if she does not go to Harvard or Stanford when she goes to college;

It is okay if she does not become a Wall Street stock broker, a lawyer, a doctor, a Ph. D

…

I know every child is a unique individual and has his/her own talent. The most important thing I want for Olivia and Evan is for them to be healthy and happy with their lives. But being brought up in a culture of “望子成龙 (hope one’s children will have a bright future)” and now surrounded by people who are firm believers of this culture, I find my “It is okay…” statements always become “Is it okay…?” questions.  

While we teach our five year olds it is okay to be different, why it is so hard for me to just ignore the peer pressure and do the same?