黎历

生如夏花灿烂,死如秋叶静美。
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127.(组诗)岁月微澜之四:难言的雾霾

(2025-05-01 16:21:13) 下一个

127.(组诗)岁月微澜之四:难言的雾霾
 
文/黎历
 
东方 曾经神秘的大地
现代的足音缠绕亘古的宁静
烟囱 毫不吝啬
吐出亿万年历史的残骸
 
阴霾飘浮 为都市铺下
一道若即若离的倒影
为时代虚幻出
真实的海市蜃楼
 
阳光被视为稀有的物种
大鳄吞噬生命的郁葱
一只缟枯的手 向入侵的资本
交出祖辈清澈的眼眸
 
海边 一叶虚弱的肺
吸纳载满铜币的淫风
吐出翻滚利润的浊流
 
江河早已失去记忆
掏空往事与月光
烟囱的巨毫
在此岸 泼洒窒息的浓墨
却在彼岸 饰润湛蓝的天空
 
尽管影子与影子
在拥挤的路上重叠
尽管呼吸与呼吸
在熙攘的生命之间放远
 
一盏落满尘埃的灯
依然刺破层层雾影
照耀远逝的流水
和守望的青山
 
2025-05-01

Gemini的诗评

这首题为《难言的雾霾》的诗,是组诗《岁月微澜》的第四首,以其深沉的笔触和强烈的意象,描绘了现代化进程中东方古老大地所承受的生态困境与人文失落。诗人黎历以其独特的视角,将具体的环境问题——雾霾,提升到了对时代、历史和人性的深刻反思层面。

以下是我对这首诗的一些评论:

1. 宏大的历史叙事与尖锐的现实批判:

诗歌开篇就将“东方”这一具有历史厚重感的概念与“现代的足音”对立起来,暗示了现代化进程对传统宁静的冲击。“烟囱毫不吝啬/吐出亿万年历史的残骸”一句,以极具力量的意象,将工业污染比作对历史文明的摧毁,其“亿万年”的夸张更凸显了污染的深重和不可逆性。

2. 雾霾的多重象征意义:

雾霾不仅仅是自然现象,在诗中更具象征意义。“阴霾飘浮/为都市铺下一道若即若离的倒影/为时代虚幻出/真实的海市蜃楼”,描绘了雾霾笼罩下城市景象的模糊与虚幻,也暗示了现代社会在快速发展中可能出现的迷失与不真实感。这种“真实的海市蜃楼”既指环境的恶化是真实存在的,也暗示了繁荣景象背后可能隐藏的虚假与脆弱。

3. 对自然、生命与人文价值的侵蚀:

“阳光被视为稀有的物种/大鳄吞噬生命的郁葱/一只缟枯的手/向入侵的资本/交出祖辈清澈的眼眸”,这一段将环境污染与资本扩张联系起来。“大鳄”象征着贪婪的资本力量,它吞噬的不仅是绿色的生命,更是“祖辈清澈的眼眸”,象征着传统价值观、纯真和对美好环境的记忆的丧失。“缟枯的手”则暗示了在资本面前,个体和传统力量的无力和无奈。

4. 个体与环境的共命运:

“海边/一叶虚弱的肺/吸纳载满铜币的淫风/吐出翻滚利润的浊流”,诗人将个体的生命体验与环境污染紧密相连。“虚弱的肺”直接承受着污染的侵害,而“载满铜币的淫风”则形象地描绘了经济利益背后肮脏的代价。“吐出翻滚利润的浊流”则揭示了经济发展与环境污染之间的恶性循环。

5. 对地域差异与社会不公的暗示:

“江河早已失去记忆/掏空往事与月光/烟囱的巨毫/在此岸/泼洒窒息的浓墨/却在彼岸/饰润湛蓝的天空”,这一段暗示了污染的地域性转移和社会的不公。污染集中在一岸,而另一岸却享受着蓝天,这种对比令人深思,揭示了发展中可能存在的牺牲与不平等。

6. 个体在困境中的坚守与希望:

诗歌的后半部分,虽然描绘了拥挤与疏离的现代生活,但“一盏落满尘埃的灯/依然刺破层层雾影/照耀远逝的流水/和守望的青山”,象征着在困境中依然存在着微弱但坚韧的希望。这盏灯,即使落满尘埃,也依然努力照亮着过去的美好(远逝的流水)和未来的期盼(守望的青山)。

7. 语言的凝练与意象的生动:

整首诗语言凝练,意象鲜明而富有张力。“现代的足音缠绕亘古的宁静”、“亿万年历史的残骸”、“真实的海市蜃楼”、“载满铜币的淫风”、“窒息的浓墨”、“落满尘埃的灯”等意象都极具表现力,引发读者的深刻联想。

整体而言,《难言的雾霾》是一首具有强烈现实关怀和深刻人文思考的诗歌。诗人通过对雾霾这一具体现象的描绘,展现了现代化进程中环境的恶化、传统价值的失落以及个体生命的脆弱。诗歌的批判性与反思性并存,结尾处的一丝光亮则为读者保留了希望。这不仅仅是对环境问题的控诉,更是对时代发展模式的深刻质询。

英文版

(Poetry Series) Ripples of Time IV: The Unspeakable Smog

By Lily 

The East—once a land of ancient mystery,
now echoes with the footsteps of modern days.
Chimneys, without restraint,
exhale the relics of a billion silent years.

Haze floats low, laying over the city
a reflection that flickers and fades,
miraging the age
with a truth made of illusion.

Sunlight—now a rare species—
as primeval green is devoured by giant predators.
A withered hand offers
our ancestors’ clear-eyed gaze
to the invading hunger of capital.

By the sea, a frail lung
inhales winds reeking of copper coins,
then exhales a churning tide
of profit and pollution.

Rivers have long forgotten themselves,
drained of memories and moonlight.
The chimney, a colossal brush,
splatters suffocating ink across this shore
while painting azure skies for the other.

Though shadow merges with shadow
on crowded, narrow roads,
though breath evades breath
in jostling, restless lives—

a lamp, layered in dust,
still pierces the folds of haze,
lighting the vanished stream,
and the watchful green of distant hills.

Many 1, 2025

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Translator’s Note
on “Ripples of Time IV: The Unspeakable Smog”

This poem, the fourth in the Ripples of Time series by Chinese poet Li Li, navigates the blurred border between ecological lament and spiritual persistence. Rooted in the industrial haze of modern urban China, it critiques the environmental degradation and moral erosion brought by unchecked capital expansion, while evoking a deep historical consciousness. The smog, here, is not merely a meteorological condition but a metaphorical veil cast over memory, identity, and truth.

Through vivid imagery—choking chimneys, profit-laced winds, forgotten rivers—the poet crafts a world both suffocating and strangely luminous. The final image of a dusty lamp breaking through the layers of haze offers a glimmer of endurance, a quiet act of witnessing. In translating this work, I sought to preserve both its lyrical cadence and its critical voice, ensuring that its resonance could cross not only linguistic boundaries but also cultural and environmental ones.

This poem invites us to see not only the damage we cause but the lights we still keep lit.

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