夹皮沟底狗呻吟
我思我方在，我在我当录
战狼外交别样红
于老狗看来，英伦的斗牛犬邱吉尔也好，北欧小国芬兰第六任总统曼纳海姆也罢，都是带着花岗岩脑袋去见上帝的历史反革命。早在世界上第一个社会主义国家呱呱落地的时候，这俩活宝就不约而同地要挥师东进，和俄国的白匪一道将苏维埃扼杀在摇篮！
可在二战当中，这俩还不时玩玩惺惺惜惺惺的老反革命忽然发现自己竟一下子分属到两个势不两立的阵营去了：为了夺回被老毛子强行吞并的大片国土，曼纳海姆蹭上了希特勒进攻苏联的顺风车；而为了干掉人类公敌希特勒，邱吉尔则不得不放低身段，脱光了衣服之后再和斯大林这位昔日的宿敌上了床。
作为与斯大林同床异梦的代价，对芬宣战也就成了邱吉尔绕不过的难题。
宣战之前，两难的邱吉尔觉得总应该给老曼稍上几句贴心的私房话。斗牛犬上来的第一句话就是：出于对我们老毛子这个新盟友的义务，这几天我们就不得不对芬兰宣战了，为此我感到十分的悲切。
在一通我们的事业是正义的，而正义的事业是任何敌人也攻不破的高屋建瓴之后，邱吉尔紧接着便是一阵丝丝入扣的动之以情：对于芬兰在英伦的众多朋友来说，最让我们痛苦难受的莫过就是在战后看到芬兰这个可爱的国家将负罪地和战败的纳粹一道站在战犯的被告席上。
老邱的言下之意是，兄弟，仗打到现在，毛子在三九年冬季战争时从你们家掳走的那些领土也都已经悉数吐出来了。你就不能好歹也配合我一下，把你的那些狼兵往后撤一撤，让我在斯大林那里好有个交代？反正出来混早晚也都得还，咱们又何苦把事情闹得太僵呢？
三两天后，老曼给老邱送来了一份同样脉脉含情的回应。除了感谢老邱的先礼后兵的绅士作派之外，老曼不卑不亢地对老邱说：如果芬兰因为保卫自己的领土完整就得和英国发生冲突，那是势必就是一件极端可悲的事情。为此，他自己也和老邱一样，对英国的即将被迫对芬宣战怀着深深的悲切和无奈。
老曼的意思是，老弟，情俺领了。奈何老哥我也是公务在身，身不由已啊……
之后又过了三两天，英国如期地对芬正式宣战。
如此看来，哪怕两国都快要宣战了，除了像日你先人这样满满故国特色的正能量之外，这战狼外交也还是可以有另外一种玩法的……
值得顺便一提的是，英国对芬宣战后的三两年里，唯一的敌对行为似乎只是她曾经派过几架飞机飞到芬兰的港口，找个没人的水域象征性地扔下几枚威力无比的水幕炸弹，之后便没命一般地急匆匆打道回府了。
西元二〇二一年四月初稿于英伦九岁斋
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附录：邱吉尔与曼纳海姆之间电文往来
【邱吉尔致曼纳海姆】http://heninen.net/sopimus/kirjecm_e.htm
I am deeply grieved at what I see coming, namely, that we shall be forced in a few days, out of loyalty to our ally Russia, to declare war upon Finland. If we do this, we shall make war also as opportunity serves. Surely your troops have advanced far enough for security during the war and could now halt and give leave. It is not necessary to make any public declaration, but simply leave off fighting and cease military operations, for which the severe winter affords every reason, and make a de facto exit from the war.
I wish I could convince Your Excellency that we are going to beat the Nazis. I feel far more confident than in 1917 or 1918. It would be most painful to the many friends of your country in England if Finland found herself in the dock with the guilty and defeated Nazis. My recollections of our pleasant talks and correspondence about the last war lead me to send this purely personal and private message for your consideration before it is too late.
November 29th, 1941
【曼纳海姆复邱吉尔】http://heninen.net/sopimus/kirjemc_e.htm
Yesterday I had the honour to receive through the American Ambassador in Helsinki your letter of November 29th, 1941, and I thank you for your kindness in sending me this private message. I am sure you will realize that it is impossible for me to halt the military operations at present being carried out before the troops have reached the positions which in my opinion will provide us with the necessary security. It would be deplorable if these operations undertaken to safeguard Finland should bring my country into conflict with England, and I would be deeply grieved if England felt herself forced to declare war on Finland. It was very good of you to send me a personal message in these critical days, and I appreciate it fully.
December 2nd, 1941
哈哈，老兄这句话写的很不错，也似乎反映了英美传统。即使打仗，也知道大家还是人。不是完全的意思形态、机器人一样的思维方式。
太低级的文化里，人们一旦有点冲突，好像对方就不是人了。愤青就类似小孩在电影院看电影，问领导（问爸爸妈妈）这个是不是坏人。然后坏人就完全是不通人性、不能沟通的物种了。