美式的幽默 （只限成人阅读）American Humor

Marriage Rules

Marriage (Part I)

A macho man married a good-looking lady; and after the wedding, he laid down the
following rules:

'I'll be home when I want, if I want, and at what time I want -- and I don't expect any hassle from you.

I expect a great dinner to be on the table unless

I tell you that I won't be home for dinner.

I'll go hunting, fishing, boozing, and card-playing

when I want with my old buddies, and don't you

give me a hard time about it.

Those are my rules. Any comments?'



His new bride said:

'No, that's fine with me. Just understand that there will be sex here at eight o'clock every night...whether you're here or not.'

----------------------------------

(DARN SHE'S GOOD!)

*****************************************

THE SILENT TREATMENT

A man and his wife were having some problems at home

and were giving each other the silent treatment.


Suddenly the man realized that the next day he would need his wife

to wake him at 5:00 AM for an early morning business flight.


Not wanting to be the first to break the silence (and LOSE), he wrote on a
piece of paper, 'Please wake me at 5:00 AM.' He left it where he knew she would find it.



The next morning the man woke up, only to discover it

was 9:00 AM and he had missed his flight.



Furious, he was about to go to see why his wife hadn't wakened him when he

noticed a piece of paper by the bed. The paper said, 'It is 5:00 AM. Wake up.'

------------------------------------------

Men are not equipped for these kinds of contests.