Forced To Lead

Vaccinated for Covid, Tim returned to BJJ and joined the adults early June. 

Over the past year and a half, the teenager had reached 5'7" and put on about

40lbs. The head coach asked jokingly "What did you feed him?" "You mean what

he fed on behind my back?" I replied with resignation. While Tim was on the

mat, I would often read and write on my laptop in the car.

 

But soon I noticed a lack of passion. Training with the adults, the top dog in 

the teenage class must have become the under dog and had to start from the

bottom of the totem pole. Tue afternoon, Tim took a nap after his robotics camp

and again missed his jiu-jitsu class. I was very upset: "I always have tried to

do my bit and I expect you to do the same!" That evening, I did not have supper

with him.

 

My injury was 95% healed and I decided to wait no more. I had to lead by

example. Wed evening, I put on a gi and joined him on the mat.

 

I have gained 10 lbs over the past four years and become 50% stronger which

seemed to have armed me with a strange serenity and the confidence that I could

put up a decent resistance against bigger guys. This allowed me to calm down to

think. In sparring, I became less aggressive and began to have fun and enjoy

learning.

 

I did have great fun rolling with Tim as we tried to trick and submit each other.

Each move was an attempt to advance or defend, just like in chess. My dad

used to play Chinese chess with me. Now I play another form of chess with my

son. It was very satisfying if only to get him out there and move. As he hadn't

warmed up to remote-learning jiu-jitsu, it was a bonus when I could transfer some

of what I learned on my own to him in a gym setup.

 

Attacks on Asians over the past year made me reflect and decide to train only

for self-defense and pay less attention to belt-levels. From this perspective, I

was able to discern what lessons were useful to me. The extra education from

Henry's online courses also allowed me to be more discriminating. Thank You!

[7grizzly]

回复 '暖冬cool夏' 的评论 : Thank you, 暖冬, for reading and your kind comments. It sounds like I'd better to live up it ;-)

It is not 100% for him, though. I train for self-defense mostly, health, and community. I'm fascinated by the idea of being able to spar in one's 90s, as master Helio Gracie did.

[暖冬cool夏]

"it was a bonus when I could transfer some of what I learned on my own to him in a gym setup."
+1, Indeed it was, and everything you transfer to him would be his assets:))
You are a great dad, who sets a good example and lead him. Hope whatever you are doing today will have lifelong impacts on him.