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Reflections on the Week

(2020-09-21 08:17:31) 下一个

I recovered only slowly from the long run two weeks ago and last Wednesday
was the worst. I felt lack of energy and wanted to do nothing. Around this
time of the year, I used to fly back to stay with dad, meeting people, enjoying
the fall, and feasting on peanuts and grapes. Now that dad was no more and Covid
made travel hard, I never felt so lonely. I should have been thankful, for so many
things, but it was what it was. For a couple of hours, I thought I was depressed.

But finally, after what seemed to be an endless ordeal of fire and smog, a week
of clear blue sky, fresh air, and bright sunshine cheered everyone up. My
strength training and calf-stretching had gone well. Sunday, I ran up in a pair
of Z-Trek all the way to the top of MP and back down to the car. My endurance
game was still improving. It felt great.

After watching a few videos and with a jig saw, a circular saw, and a lot of
effort, I was able to cut an old tire recycled at a Walmart parking lot into two
stripes of steel-reinforced rubber, enough to make three pairs of huaraches.
This is going to be the answer to my running sandal problem. The material is
tough and enduring. Moreover, how cool it would be to run on rocky trails
in shoes hand-crafted by myself!

Last, a few Mike Tyson's recent interviews changed my impression of the guy. I
had always thought of him as a thug, a vilian, and a criminal who happened to be
good at boxing. But he seemed to have turned things around after retiring and
have a great story to tell. In one video, as Tyson was talking about his 
childhood, Joe Rogan commented that children growing up in a high-stress
environment often have a tendency of violence.

I recognized it immediately in myself: a curse cast on me and indeed my family
even before the day I was born. Frustration in marriage and even run-ins with
management at work could be but symptoms. There are things I can do to improve 
the present, and more importantly, to make sure that the buck stops here.

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7grizzly 回复 悄悄话 回复 '暖冬cool夏' 的评论 : Thank you, 暖冬, for reading and your comments. Life is not dull for me as so many interesting things need to be done. It seems I only feel bad when I turn away from the big picture and focus too much on myself. Another reason has to do with the body. If I over-train or feel weak, negative thoughts tend to emerge.
暖冬cool夏 回复 悄悄话 I understand your occasional frustrations or depressions, as we so easily succumb to our sensational feelings, feeling hurt, feeling sad, feeling enraged, etc. As we age, like me:)), things that we used to value lose their valued, and with fewer things in our mind, life is becoming more serene and dull. And, it is actually good that your senses are still sharp, and so are your reactions. Life is about experiences, so that when we leave the world, we have no regret as we've tasted the bitter, sour and sweet. Enjoy the moment whenever we can, my friend!
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