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2020 Chinese New Year: New Freedom.

(2020-02-01 18:48:20) 下一个

 

I came back from the Chinese New Year vacation on the last flight of the last day

of Jan 2020. UA 890 shot across the Pacific in under 10 hours. It was also the

first time I didn't need to fill out a form for customs. "Have you visited Wuhan

during your trip?" was the only question for me. "No. Sir. I stayed home in

Beijing all 10 days." "Welcome home." He greeted me with a smile and I passed in

record-breaking time. They didn't even take my temperature. Perhaps they

thought, correctly, that the Chinese side had done enough of that. It was only

6:40pm when I got off the bus at Milbrae for the next south-bound train.

 

The past two weeks had been a slow torture ended with a rollercoaster ride. From

the day I arrived at Beijing, the novel coronavirus situation had gone from bad to worse.

Entrances to villages were blocked and I couldn't go to see my aunt. (I could have

walked but guessed that it would only bring her trouble.) We were penned in all

day long watching TV, mostly news of decisions from the great leader, experts'

insightful analysis, reassuring progresses, praises from other nations and the

United Nations and the heroic deeds from doctors, nurses, and other common

folks. Government people came regularly to ask about returning family members

and to take our temperatures. The US embassy sent out increasingly alarming

alerts and evacuated citizens out of Hubei. Folks urged me to leave early.

Meanwhile, the first of the two flights of my return trip, from Beijing to

Shanghai, was canceled.

 

Among all the turmoil, however, I was able to keep cool. (I probably worried for

one hour in total.) I spent a lot of time reading the dictionary and taking

notes, writing down in English whatever struck me, and surprised myself by doing

yoga and lifting weight in the frosty outdoors, everyday. On Jan 27, I read a few

poems including Psalm 23:

    The Lord is my sheperd; I shall not want.

    ...

    Yea, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death

    I fear no evil; for thou art with me;

    thy rod and thy staff, they comfort me.

    ...

    Surely goodness and mercy shall follow me all the days of my life

    and I will dwell in the house of the Lord forever.

 

and a couple of paragraphs on Buddhism from Harrari's book Sapiens, and of

course remembered this gem from Epictetus:

    Don't seek to have events happen as you wish,

    but wish them to happen as they do happen,

    and all will be well with you.

 

I felt thankful and blessed.

 

I kept to the original plan in spite of evidences suggesting taking early

actions. I told my cousin that it would be fine if I died there. There were a

few hiccups on the last day: the battery in his car died just before he

picked me up for PEK, I tried to switch to an even earlier flight to Shanghai

for the first leg, I had to take a 50-min shuttle from SHA to PVG, and once

there United Airlines couldn't find my record in their system. We went through

them one by one and overall, things went much better than I feared.

 

Back in Mountain View, the greetings from my own family were lukewarm at best.

The school was alarmed, I was told, and I had better stay away. I went to the

new house only to gather stuff for the following two-week voluntary quarantine.

It felt like an exile, the kind that Seneca or Napoleon enjoyed. I didn't even

get to see Tim. What I took the initiative to do must have turned me into a

monster in their minds. Munching on a hamburger and fries at MacDonald's at

10:30pm and feeling lonely for the first time in a long time, I checked my

emails and paid the bills online. At 11:30pm, tired, feeling abandoned by the

tribe, and with a lump in my throat, I drove across the bridge and got back

to my old place in Fremont.

 

Most household items had been moved out in the past month, the floors dirty, the

rooms littered with unwanted stuff gathered over the years, but my old home

still felt welcoming. It was here I won my financial freedom for the first time.

This house had brought me nothing but security, prosperity and peace of mind.

 

I left the heat off, got into a sleeping bag on my Jiu-Jitsu mat, slumbered for

about four hours, and the next morning the air felt Alaskan and me Dick Penneke.

I made coffee and it suddenly dawned on me that I was being blessed with a new

kind of freedom and I was up for it. It was a breakthrough. Not feeling sad or

angry, I was going to practice living when even those I had been devoted to

might not care about me out of ignorance and fear, which I could not imagine

until now.

 

Thank You!

 
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7grizzly 回复 悄悄话 回复 'GraceX' 的评论 : Grace 好!这次能按时回家的确幸运.

”远离家人是应该的“这个我明白,although I was less prepared for 家人远离我 :-(

It was educational for me and one more motivation for getting strong.

Thanks for visiting.
GraceX 回复 悄悄话 7grizzly好!最近没见你更新,我就猜测你可能回大陆过年了,好在你及时回美了。虽然你在北京,但你不知道回程的飞机上是不是有人得病,若有,你就有潜在的危险,所以暂时远离家人是应该的。太累确实会影响情绪,好好休息,相信国内的一切都会慢慢好转起来的。
7grizzly 回复 悄悄话 回复 '暖冬cool夏' 的评论 : Thank you for reading and your kind welcome-back. The bitterness was gone. Maybe I was too tired. Overall, it was quite an experience and I should post more. Everyone I got in touch with via email and phone praised the self-imposed quarantine. At least we are doing the right thing. Thanks again.
暖冬cool夏 回复 悄悄话 A very touching post. I can understand how you are feeling, but please don't be too sensitive. They are just being cautious and protective/preventive. I called my family half an hour ago, and my mom agreed that people there are overcautious. Being pegged indoors all days does not sound a good solution. Think of this way, thousands (8 thousands) of Americans died of flu last year (?), but there are only six or more cases of coronavirus detected here in the U.S. Anyway, I am glad you are home safe and sound. You are actually blessed with the freedom or option of going back to the old house for a week or so :), and the solitude will render more time to yourself. You can Skype Tim if you miss him. Again, welcome back, and rest well!
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