My Nephew Is Coming Abroad

My nephew*, H, is coming to Berkeley for a short study. A
bright youth finishing college in a top Chinese university, he
has been working hard to score high in TOEFL and GRE to
apply for graduate schools. I went through the same and can
well empathize.

The family is well off but his dad still wants the boy to go 
and this is not surprising. Experiences since the 1950's of
my extended family have been shaped by a single tragic
event from dad's side**. If one Jiu-Jitsu blackbelt's***
three-year-old daughter knew by instinct to take her
sister's back and put in the hooks, I wonder what the
life-time suffering of the past three generations combined
would have passed on to an oblivious offspring.

In this light, my own character, intense dislike of bullies 
in any form, and all major life experiences so far can be
explained. This seems the antithesis to Individualism, so
exalted in the West. I might not have done everything "My
Way" and the tear-jerking

        For what is a man, what has he got
        If not himself, then he has naught

suddenly feels less certain. Like many dualities, the
individual and his fate seem better modelled by the great
Yin-and-Yang.

  * He's my cousin's only child and aunt's grandson. The
    English expression "first cousin once removed" sounds
    ludicrous here. I'll follow the Chinese and call him nephew.

 ** In contrast, cousins from mom's side were content with
    staying back. Financial motivations were not enough to
    stir them.

*** Joe Rogan podcast with Steve Maxwell

[7grizzly]

回复 '暖冬cool夏' 的评论 : Thank you, 暖冬, for reading and your comments. I don't see much difference. We probably had one more reason for working hard but I wouldn't think the new generation have less pressure. As they survive and prosper regardless of where, they face the same problems created by modernity, i.e., the affluent diseases, which are the real, invisible, and therefore much more dangerous killers.

Society has just changed too fast for humans to adapt to. And this manifests in many modern problems. There are traps everywhere and one has to be aware and take action.

[暖冬cool夏]

So what's the difference between your generation twenty years ago versus your nephew, both came to the North America for further study? I guess he is better financially supported now that Chinese people are so affluent. Also the younger generation will be less culturally shocked when their growth is exposed much globally. But we may be more determined and preservered. The good thing for a younger generation is they have more choices after graduation. They can choose to stay, but with tight immigration policy in Trump's administration, they can always go back to China with equally promising future. Good luck to him!