舒适区里太惬意了。。。

偶尔走出去自然会有意外。。。

The Year of Magical Thinking by Joan Didion 

通常我会避开这类书。哪类呢？这是goodreads 网上关于这本书的简介：

From one of America's iconic writers, a stunning book of electric honesty and passion. Joan Didion explores an intensely personal yet universal experience: a portrait of a marriage–and a life, in good times and bad–that will speak to anyone who has ever loved a husband or wife or child.

Several days before Christmas 2003, John Gregory Dunne and Joan Didion saw their only daughter, Quintana, fall ill with what seemed at first flu, then pneumonia, then complete septic shock. She was put into an induced coma and placed on life support. Days later–the night before New Year's Eve–the Dunnes were just sitting down to dinner after visiting the hospital when John Gregory Dunne suffered a massive and fatal coronary. In a second, this close, symbiotic partnership of forty years was over. Four weeks later, their daughter pulled through. Two months after that, arriving at LAX, she collapsed and underwent six hours of brain surgery at UCLA Medical Center to relieve a massive hematoma.

This powerful book is Didion's attempt to make sense of the "weeks and then months that cut loose any fixed idea I ever had about death, about illness . . . about marriage and children and memory . . . about the shallowness of sanity, about life itself."

 

借来这本书只是因为微信短视频里一个我喜欢的播主推荐这书的作者。。图书馆里她的这本书可以立马借到。。。坦白地说，开始的一个多小时，是在夜里作为催眠听过的。大部分内容都在梦中左耳进右耳出了。但是有些段落还是把我触动到了，于是就听完了后来的部分，然后再从头开始。。。

也许因为她”高大上“的生活方式给我的距离感吧，不容易代入。但是她的笔触太细腻，太真实。。。不同世界的她和我，也终究都是人。听着她的书时，常常会想起Debbie，她经历了怎样的grief？！我记得，那第一个晚上，从医院出来，她执意回自己家，我们陪她回去，给孩子们打电话，听着电话里他们的失声痛哭。但后来她拒绝让我陪她过夜。。。。

如果早一点听到这本书，对Debbie，我会不会多些理解，多些照顾？不知道。

还是很喜欢这本书，虽然现实，也有些过于沉重。人其实很有意思，包装成什么还在其次。能看到人的内心活动，很难得。能把自己剖析得清楚，应该也是grief的一个过程，更是作者的功力。。。