Mock Interview on Vice President Mike Pence

Mock Interview on Vice President Mike Pence

by Limin Wang

10/08/2020

Last night, VP Mike Pence and Dem VP candidate Kamala Harris were having a debate at Salt Lake City, Utah. Viewers became crazy about Pence, mainly because of a fly. So afterwards, I, as the Anchor of the tabloid news People's Voice, called Pence for a minute interview.

Me: Good morning, Vice President, it's Wang from People's Voice, thanks for picking up the call.

Pence: Hi. Is it about Nobel Prize?

Me: No, sorry, it's not about the Dynamite Prize. [pause] Did you mean you or Trump has just won a Nobel Prize?

Pence: Trump let me stay awake every night these days. I was on high alert about the Medicine and Chemistry ones.

Me: Please accept my condonences on these Nobel Prizes. Is that the reason why you had a pink eye during last night's debate?

Pence: Yeah, but not a "pink" eye, it's a red eye, please be color-sensitive or color-conscious. Our Republicans' symbol color is red, not pink as the mixture of red and blue. please be politically aware.

Me: Ok. You are welcome to vent whatever you have to to me, since you seemed to have been tortured publicly by two women. Did Karen hit you on your head later last night?

Pence: Why my wife would hit me on my head?

Me: You didn't browse your phone or watch any TV after the debate?

Pence: No. Trump told me "Great Job!" and then I fell asleep like a log.

Me: It's better later than never. Let me tell you. People were crazy about you, sorry, people were crazy about a house-fly landing and napping on your hair for tens of minutes during the VP debate.

Pence: Fake news?

Me: Really real.

Pence: Then, my hair is a pure white thing, a whiter and whiter thing, easy to attract little black things like a house-fly. When a little black thing is on a big white thing, it becomes an obvious thing. As long as the little black thing DID NOTHING, benevolent or harmful to the big white thing, my neurological circuit of sense-motor wouldn't even start...

Me, interjecting: Vice President, too much to my level of understanding. Can you please tell the truth, nothing but truth, whether you had sensed anything about that house-fly last night?

Pence: Let me go back on the prior question. When I heard a weak buzzing, I thought it was coming out of Senator Kamala Harris' mic, I thought it would be statistically impossible it had actually been a little black thing sleeping and then waking up on my perfect white hair...

Me: Vice President, I have to go now. It's Senator Kamala Harris' time now. She has been calling me a few times during this minute interview already. How the hell Demos would be proactive in what? Bye, Mike.