12/25 Sat

Xmas is suffering... This is the first time I spend Xmas with B, so we decided to avoid all cheesy 'special' dinners which have nothing special but prices. So we stay home and cook, actually its not WE, but I. He has to spend daytime with his daughter for some family tradition, and I had early morning driving course, it turned out that I rushed to Isetan for the food shopping, which was hell. Who said anything bad about economy this year? Come on, check out how crowded Isetan is. All import food with shocking prices, there was a line for buying wines which cost me about 20 mins... And I dont even wanna talk about roasted chicken and Xmas cake. Anyway, after about 1 hour fighting against other shoppers and trying to get my deal done as soon as possible, I was on my way home and totally exhausted. But this is not over yet, to clean my place and prepare everything in 2 hours, I felt like fighting a battle. What the hell I am doing? I couldnt stop my hands, I had to finish whatever I started, but I couldnt help wondering that, am I torturing myself with the name of love? Or maybe thats what love is??? To suffer whatever, just because you love someone, is that true?

B is coming, and I need to be cheerful... God... Merry Xmas, lol.