jgey的单身日记
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正文
花粉症真是折磨人, 这些天, 没有一天早晨我的鼻子是通气儿的, 跟幼儿园小朋友一样, 天天在包里放块儿小手帕. 也有好处, 对地铁里恶心的霉味完全免疫, 反正我闻不到. 昨晚的YOGA让我觉得很疲倦, 晚饭和JEFF一起, he needs my advice on how to meet girls in Tokyo, I need his guy opinions on the mess I just got.
After the talk with Mario, I thought we were totally cool, just back to f buddy stage, nothing else involved. Later in the nite, Mario sent me an email which said, "sometimes you scare me much cos I really like you a lot...that is why somehow I try to push you away, I love the way they are, not getting complicated, does it make sense?"
I replied, "NO, it doesnt, but its ok. there are lots of shit in life which doesnt make sense at all, it wouldnt bother me much, we are cool..." then I was joking that its tough to get back to just so so sex with some other guy, after those incredible experiences with him.
"Why you need another guy??? am I not enough for you??? I am not seeing any other girl, can we just keep this, can you do the same thing for me?" Mario said.
I was so pissed off, "Listen to yourself!!! you dont want a relationship with me, and you dont want me to have a relationship with any other guy??? "
Then he said, "sorry...guess I asked too much, and being selfish. I just wanna hear you say you not going to have fun with another guy...I would get jealous..." blah blah...
...???!!!WTH!
Jeff thinks there are 2 options, 1st, mario might really like me a lot, but still under the pressure from the divorce; 2nd, he is playing the game. "WHY??? its ridiculous, I have told him that we are totally cool, why he wanna play this kinda game? He cant offer me what I want, then there is no way that I can keep this exclusive, its like business deal, before you take, you need to offer something first." I said.
"Well, he doesnt want another girl, for whatever the reasons, so he doesnt want you to have another guy, that is a guy thing." Jeff explained to me.
"What the fuck is that guy thing??? its bullshit, he thinks I am 16 something??? I am not that kinda emotional masochist, who enjoys suffering from hopeless love! Jesus!!!" I guess I cursed too much recently.
Jeff asked, "so what if this guy, mario, here now in front of you, and says he loves you, wants a serious relationship with you?"
"No, its not gonna happen. I am not ready for that kinda serious commitment yet, plus, he is not a good choice." Thats what I thought, "then, what is the matter? he can give u a relationship or not, anyway you dont want it." Jeff was laughing.
"Well, I wanna be the one who makes the decision, I want a relationship or not, I want him to be available for either decision I gonna make...ewwww...that sounds quite bitchy huh?" "Yes, very much." Jeff is an honest guy, but I think he doesnt have to be so honest, LOL.
Today talked with George, he strongly assumes that, mario is still married, and he is trying to play this game with me, for ? I dont know, some guy thing again! This GUY THING might be the biggest mystery in the whole universe, fine, I just leave it to guys.
Anyway, this matter is done, I gonna do whatever on my own way, this is called a GIRL THING.
After the talk with Mario, I thought we were totally cool, just back to f buddy stage, nothing else involved. Later in the nite, Mario sent me an email which said, "sometimes you scare me much cos I really like you a lot...that is why somehow I try to push you away, I love the way they are, not getting complicated, does it make sense?"
I replied, "NO, it doesnt, but its ok. there are lots of shit in life which doesnt make sense at all, it wouldnt bother me much, we are cool..." then I was joking that its tough to get back to just so so sex with some other guy, after those incredible experiences with him.
"Why you need another guy??? am I not enough for you??? I am not seeing any other girl, can we just keep this, can you do the same thing for me?" Mario said.
I was so pissed off, "Listen to yourself!!! you dont want a relationship with me, and you dont want me to have a relationship with any other guy??? "
Then he said, "sorry...guess I asked too much, and being selfish. I just wanna hear you say you not going to have fun with another guy...I would get jealous..." blah blah...
...???!!!WTH!
Jeff thinks there are 2 options, 1st, mario might really like me a lot, but still under the pressure from the divorce; 2nd, he is playing the game. "WHY??? its ridiculous, I have told him that we are totally cool, why he wanna play this kinda game? He cant offer me what I want, then there is no way that I can keep this exclusive, its like business deal, before you take, you need to offer something first." I said.
"Well, he doesnt want another girl, for whatever the reasons, so he doesnt want you to have another guy, that is a guy thing." Jeff explained to me.
"What the fuck is that guy thing??? its bullshit, he thinks I am 16 something??? I am not that kinda emotional masochist, who enjoys suffering from hopeless love! Jesus!!!" I guess I cursed too much recently.
Jeff asked, "so what if this guy, mario, here now in front of you, and says he loves you, wants a serious relationship with you?"
"No, its not gonna happen. I am not ready for that kinda serious commitment yet, plus, he is not a good choice." Thats what I thought, "then, what is the matter? he can give u a relationship or not, anyway you dont want it." Jeff was laughing.
"Well, I wanna be the one who makes the decision, I want a relationship or not, I want him to be available for either decision I gonna make...ewwww...that sounds quite bitchy huh?" "Yes, very much." Jeff is an honest guy, but I think he doesnt have to be so honest, LOL.
Today talked with George, he strongly assumes that, mario is still married, and he is trying to play this game with me, for ? I dont know, some guy thing again! This GUY THING might be the biggest mystery in the whole universe, fine, I just leave it to guys.
Anyway, this matter is done, I gonna do whatever on my own way, this is called a GIRL THING.
The bottom line is that you want the ball in your court, he wants it in his. It's not a "guy thing" or a "girl thing", it's two strong-willed individuals jockeying for the top dog position in a relationship so he/she won't feel hurt (or as much) when the relationship ends.
Mario is getting possessive, I guess that's a "guy thing". He doesn't necessarily want to date you, but he doesn't want you to date/sleep with anyone else. But why are you surprised? It's not a mystery, just look at history. Why do you think kings all over the world pack their palaces with hundreds of young girls and only send casterated men serve them? Being possessive, maybe?
I said that before, I'll say it again, genes dictate behaviors. Men are programmed to spread their seeds as wide as possible to increase their chances of producing an offspring, while women are more selective over a potential mate's qualifications, whatever that may be at different stages of our evolution process. Therefore, biologically speaking, a "f buddy" relationship is unnatural and unstable.
Of course I won't hesitate a second if some hot young thing wants to be my f buddy, who am I to deny her rights to explore a few "unnatural" relationships?