2/21 星期三

真是郁闷的一天.

昨晚Mario从冲绳回东京, 直接过来我家, 这是我们第一次stay over nite together. He took a few days off, and I planned not to work today for spending the whole day and night with him, we planned a lot, he brought new movies, I cleaned my place, and... Its supposed to be an opportunity for us to get to know each other more, and maybe something would work out for us.

我告诉他东京昨晚很冷, 和冲绳的天气不一样, 结果Mario还是只穿了条及膝的短裤, 于是, 理所当然的感冒了. 在车站他抱住我的一瞬间, 我确确实实的感觉到甜蜜. Its a wonderful nite, we had incredible sex, and watched [clerks 2] together, well, its the 6th time for me, still funny. Everything was perfect, except his cold, at the beginning Mario just sniffing a lot, then started coughing... This morning, when I asked him what he wanted for breakfast, his face all red, for sure, he was having a fever! Poor Mario, I had no idea what to do, this just the situation I had never expected. Anyway, the best solution he figured out was to go back to the base, and see a doctor, he didnt want to make me sick as well. Mario said actually he was a little sick in the ship already, which made me dislike that dumb ship more, I didnt know why he could not just get off that ship, and try to get a better position in the base. If Mario didnt have to travel with that crazy ship all around, we might get more time to meet up. Next time I should just date an airforce guy, who had to land daily at least, LOL!

I came to office afternoon, you couldnt imagine how frustrated I felt. How could this kinda shit happen to me??? We could hardly arrange a date for a few hours, and for the first time, we made a plan to stay together for one whole day and two nites, then he got sick!!! The timing is never right for us, maybe this is the sign, I should just take it, and stop making any effort for this dumb thing.

I was happy when I with Mario, I think I really like him a lot, and I can do nothing... F!!!

[jgey]

To ttmouse:
thank you so much for the comment, and being supporting all the time. its not the time to make any decision yet now...we will see =)

蝎子同学, 你跑到哪里去了...这么久都不见人影...
我觉得, 内伤是因为你有情, 太CASUAL的人也不快乐, they secretly dream of the true love, the cruelest and the most hurtful true love, cos the pain makes the love so real and vivid, makes people feel they are alive...

[小蝎子]

有时候, 我希望自己能洒脱点, 但次次踩下去後, 就总是很内伤...

所以人和人真的很不同啊... 我真想换一颗心...

好久没来, 问个好, 新年快乐!!!

[ttmouse]

I sincerely have the empathy for you. I admire your courage to follow your heart. From your diary, the reality of the relationship with Mario is a bit rough. For a relationship may lead to settle down, I would not recommend him. For a passionate lover, I would say "Yes." For romance, well, maybe. Besides your free spirit, you still have time to poker around. So, feel lucky for the one great night. Bear me a minute for saying my experience. I am able to write off men faster and easier as I gets older. Simply because of I know what exactly what I want, which as well comes from the price I have paid for my mistakes. However, I never regret. Even if at middle age, one still can have the best love(passion, romance, commitment, etc) if God takes care H/She. And I think God will not forget the sexy, naughty you.