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“直升机父母”的奖励

(2019-02-08 11:50:08) 下一个

Reap reward of “helicopter parents” “直升机父母”的奖励

心理学家，社会学家和记者花了十多年的时间来诊断和批评“直升机父母”的习惯以及他们对学校的痴迷。他们坚持认为，超养父母会适得其反 - 创造一代无法独立运作的压力大的孩子。父母自己在感到内疚，恐慌和荒谬之间交替。

但是新的研究表明，在我们不平等的时代，这种养育方式带来了改变生活的好处。这是西北大学的经济学家Matthias Doepke和耶鲁大学的Fabrizio Zilibotti所着的“爱，金钱和育儿：经济学如何解释我们养育孩子的方式”这本书的信息。确实，高辛辛苦，勤劳的育儿有一些毫无意义的过激行为，并没有给父母带来快乐。但做得对，它适用于儿童，不仅在美国，而且在世界各地的富裕国家。

Strict parenting gave way to an era of “permissive parenting” — giving children lots of freedom with little oversight. Why spend 18 years nagging kids to succeed if the rewards weren’t worth it? 严格的养育让位于一个“宽容的养育”时代 - 给予孩子很大的自由，几乎没有疏忽。如果奖励不值得，为什么要花18年时间唠叨孩子成功呢？
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Psychologists, sociologists and journalists have spent more than a decade diagnosing and critiquing the habits of “helicopter parents” and their school obsessions. They insist that hyper-parenting backfires — creating a generation of stressed-out kids who can’t function alone. Parents themselves alternate between feeling guilty, panicked and ridiculous.

But new research shows that in our unequal era, this kind of parenting brings life-changing benefits. That’s the message of the book “Love, Money and Parenting: How Economics Explains the Way We Raise Our Kids,” by the economists Matthias Doepke of Northwestern University and Fabrizio Zilibotti of Yale. It’s true that high-octane, hardworking child-rearing has some pointless excesses, and it doesn’t spark joy for parents. But done right, it works for kids, not just in the United States but in rich countries around the world.

It’s not enough just to hover over your kids, however. If you do it as an “authoritarian” parent — defined as someone who issues directives, expects children to obey and sometimes hits those who don’t — you won’t get the full benefits.

The most effective parents, according to the authors, are “authoritative.” They use reasoning to persuade kids to do things that are good for them. Instead of strict obedience, they emphasize adaptability, problem-solving and independence — skills that will help their offspring in future workplaces that we can’t even imagine yet.

Opinion