留学申请浅谈：（四）个人陈述的写法

可以这样说，在所有的留学申请文件中，个人陈述是最难写的。它的功用是论述你个人兴趣的来源，让教授能够清楚有效的了解你个人的研究兴趣，学习动机，以及你所具有完成你感兴趣的研究能力和学术潜力。因此，个人陈述一定要用逻辑性很强的最朴实无华的语言来写，文章条理思路要清晰，内容要有创意，文字要言简意洁，能够充分向教授展现自己的实力，让他看后相信你是一个可以信赖和有潜力可挖的人才。所以，写个人陈述最重要的是首先要弄清学校要你写什么了，例如，“你为什么要来参加这个特别的研究生课程”，或是“告诉我们有关让你决定从事XX职业生涯的有关背景”。

 

写个人陈述得注意几点： 

 

一，清晰。写出来的东西条理思路要清晰，逻辑性强，读起来让人感到是一种享受。

1. 尽量使用简单的单词和直接的措辞短语

    使用单词和短语，简单而直接传达你的意思。避免冗长，不要使用行话和太长的词汇，以及那些只是听起来很复杂的东西。
2. 避免套话，过于常见的短语，和非特别的一些信息
    使用那些显得你与其他申请人与众不同的你的经验。例如，如果你有伟大的领导技能，就应该描述那些具体的，已经展示了你这些技能的例证，或是通过你展示了这些技能后在哪里得到了给与你做领导的事例。不要采用那些太过平淡而且是相当普普通通的经历。

3. 使用好的组织结构

    好的组织结构就意味着在“宏观”的总体上写作要清晰。不但是单个句子要表达清楚，而且整段乃至全文都要按逻辑顺序来安排。这就需要很多深入细致的思考，千万不要指望靠自己一时的灵感来写出有很好组织结构的文章。
4. 检查拼写和语法错误
 

二，内容要有创意。你的陈述必须具有实质性的东西，如果你能再在创造性上能发挥一下就更好了。你要仔细阅读，读了又读你所申请的每个学校的写作要求与说明。根据学校的这些指导原则，写什么和怎么写都可能会有所不同的。

 

以下是一种典型的写法：

首先是写对自己感兴趣的领域的那些个人原因：例如，克服困难，伟大的或独特的课外成就。

然后再写临床或相关的工作经验：讨论你的特殊作用和取得的成就，无论是单独还是和其他人一起。

最后还要写对你所要申请大学的院系里的教授所完成的研究工作进行认可或表达出你对这些研究的兴趣

这些都是一些标准的写法，千万不要把自己局限在这里。充分发挥你的想象力，如果你写的东西不局限于传统，那将会大大的提高它的效果，不过，你写的一切都必须符合学校的那些指导原则。

三，简明扼要。个人陈述一定要保证在学校要求的篇幅之内，一般不要超过两页纸。如果发现太长，就要去掉那些看似平平（没有什么特别）的东西。即使文章满足长度要求，你也要对使用的单词进行推敲，看能不能把有些东西写短些。 

下面是你可以用来检查能不能把个人陈述写得更短些的几方面：

1. 描述的东西是不是简明扼要? 有没有罗嗦或重复的地方？
2. 是不是每个句子和每段文字都表达了一个特别的，有意义的观点？
3. 能不能组合几个段落来表达统一观点？ 
4. 文字排版是不是过于拥挤，字体是不是太小？ 

四，定稿。定稿前要有充足的时间做以下几件事情：

1. 润色和修改：把写好了的草稿放上几个月再来看看，或是多写几稿进行比较
2. 要求反馈：把写好了的你满意了的草稿送给别人看（朋友，家长，教师，研究生），要求他们提供建议
3. 最后就是校对：要做到逐字逐句，一点不漏 

顺便说明一点，以上是根据根据UNIVERSITY OF WASHINGTON在网上发表的“Writing Personal Statements for Graduate School”改写而成，有兴趣的朋友可参考：
http://web.psych.washington.edu/writingcenter/writingguides/pdf/personal.pdf

 

 下面我就附上两篇个人陈述样本，都选自Virginia Tech. 英语系的网站，其格式与写法可供大家参考。

    http://www.english.vt.edu/undergraduate/grad_statement.html 

 

个人陈述例一：学校的要求是“Why do you want to attend this particular graduate program? ”

Personal Statement

By Thomas Blaszak

Like millions of boys during childhood, I dreamed of becoming a professional athlete. Driven by my heart, I found baseball came easier than other activities. Week after week, I spent hours on the diamond, which soon became a second home. My dreams, however, swiftly crashed into reality the day I was cut from the Junior Varsity Baseball team. Shocked and devastated, I stepped back from my dream wondering where my life would go from there. At a time when I felt the world had ended, little did I realize that another one was just beginning. Being cut from the team never altered my aspirations in baseball, but it forced me to find and pursue an alternative outside of athletics.

I could have taken the easy route and followed the footsteps of my father and two older siblings toward an engineering career; however, I sought a profession about which I could be as passionate as I was about baseball. Over time, I came to discover an interest in the medical field, more specifically in veterinary medicine. Initially my interest was propelled by a love for animals, but during the past few years, valuable experiences have both educated and confirmed my interest in veterinary medicine as a field in which I can make a difference.

With the Virginia-Maryland College of Veterinary Medicine located right on campus, Virginia Tech was the ideal school in which to pursue an undergraduate degree and obtain background knowledge of veterinary medicine and profession itself. My job at the veterinary teaching hospital in the small animal clinic has helped shape for me a clear view of the profession. Each case admitted to the teaching hospital is handled with individual attention. Patient care is thoroughly monitored and recorded for reference. I have been able to observe and assist in many critical situations and procedures, such as thoracic taps, open wound care, and catheter placement. Interacting with doctors and fourth year students has given me a better understanding of the profession and dedication. I will need to reach my goal. My interactions with highly-trained professionals have given me an understanding about how a teaching hospital operates and have encouraged me to pursue a residency program to specialize in a specific area of veterinary medicine. Meanwhile, fourth year students have contributed to my learning by explaining cases and offering wisdom learned through personal experiences. 

In addition to my job at the teaching hospital, I have undertaken research to provide a framework for my experience. As a volunteer in the Force-Plate Laboratory, I observed through hands-on applications several laboratory principles and techniques. Using a pressure sensitive plate, we measured the effectiveness of an FDA research drug to relieve pain generated from hip dysplasia. The force plate laboratory provided me with a different type of research beyond the typical laboratory world of glassware and pipettes.

Since I was born and raised in an urban area, I had minimal experience with livestock and their care. As a freshman at Virginia Tech, however, I was fortunate to have the opportunity to shadow Dr. William Beal of the Animal and Poultry Science Department and to assist in his graduate student’s research on the effects of alternate feeds on embryo grade and development in cows. Interacting with cattle for the first time ignited in me an interest in large animals and opened my eyes to the various possibilities available in animal research. In my first experience with large animals, Dr. Beal taught and allowed me to perform most of the work. In fact, working with Dr. Beal provided an educational atmosphere that again took me beyond the typical world of textbooks.

Currently, I am working with Dr. Nathan in the Engineering Department on a research project to develop a biosensor. My work focuses on the biological components of the biosensor. As with my other experiences, this project has provided me with reallife applications of classroom knowledge. Instead of just learning, I am

doing. Being involved in such different types of research has given me a broad spectrum of knowledge and a respect for the field and the information it can provide.

While I may not have the in-depth veterinary experience of some applicants, my desire goes far beyond that of an average person. It even incorporates and has been sustained by a bit of my original love—athletics. As a varsity athlete during my undergraduate education, I have developed an understanding of the work and dedication required to achieve success and maintain a constant drive for excellence. Also as a result of my involvement with athletics, I have learned to manage and balance a busy schedule, while maintaining success in the classroom. Many parallels can be made between varsity athletics and veterinary school.

I am willing to make the necessary sacrifices in order to achieve my goals. My dream to play professional baseball still lurks deep inside and would be a tremendous opportunity if offered, but currently a different aspiration takes precedence over that childhood fantasy. Veterinary medicine has opened my eyes and heart to a new goal.

 

个人陈述例二：学校的要求是“Tell us something about your background that made you decide to pursue X career.”

Personal Statement

When I was 10 years old, four friends and I built a mummy. In the corner of our Ninth Avenue Elementary School classroom, inside an area squared off by the strategic placement of low bookshelves, we dipped strips of newspaper in flour glue and applied them to the chicken-wire form that my father had spent hours molding into the shape of a man. In another corner of the classroom, five of my fellow classmates painted a wooden sarcophagus with hieroglyphics gleaned from an encyclopedia brought in especially for the purpose.

I now know that this was a classroom project that our student teacher, fresh from campus at Ohio State University, had pulled together to make the book

The Egypt Game come alive for her first class of students. I now know that while we were enjoying playing in paste up to our elbows, she was probably worried about whether her project would receive a passing or a failing grade. She paced the room, she took pictures, she fretted about the paint smears on the sarcophagus. At the time, though, all I realized was that I was having fun—and that a book had never made me feel this way before.

Thanks to The Egypt Game and that student teacher, whose name has become lost to me but whose energy and excitement have not, I had found my vocation. Literature would from that time forward hold a place in my life above bicycles, hula hoops, and ice cream sundaes at Baskin-Robbins.

For my birthdays, for Christmas, and for special occasions, I received books. Nancy Drew. Alfred Hitchcock and the Three Investigators. Misty of Chincoteague. Black Beauty. And my own copy of The Egypt Game. I devoured them. Their plots ran like films in my head as I snuggled into bed at night.

What that student teacher gave to me that spring was a gift beyond measure. Although I cannot remember her name, I will always remember the thrill of the story, the vivid mental pictures I created of the characters and their activities, the excitement as the plot neared its climax. As an elementary school teacher, I hope to be able to impart the same gift to my own students, to make them eager to dip their hands in paste and make the printed word come to life in a corner of the classroom. I want to teach as I was taught.