Aimless

How are you this evening. I believe that I start to miss you, even we were just together few hours ago. I have nothing to do but missing you, thinking of you. It is painful feeling ......

I was sitting in front of the computer, ignoring everything around, refreshing everything we had, from the beginning...... they all so sweet, but painful sometimes. Like you said today, sometimes it was so hard for us. Now I experienced this again. I was like being thrown away to nowhere, from happiness to hopeless...... really, I felt I was so little today, none to depend on...... and I am so lonely, so restless ...... I hope I was wrong.

I count the dates, when we were together. I know that would happen, but you did not think that way. You even did not let me know first. You just let me standing away, watching you own moving. I was so sad ......

I do not know what I am going to do. Aimlessly wondering, trying to find him or her, and holding firmly to me, telling him or her that how much I love him, how much I need you to stay with me, seeing you growing up, like me and you, how should that be, that would be so nice life, with you together, having our baby. I will not mind living anywhere, as long as I will let you happy, I would love to do so ......

That is now, the fact. It is happening, again. And then I will throw myself to the ground, hardly and hardly ...... till I could not remember anything ......

....... if crying would help, I will ......