Be Friend with him

How many of us always feel the thirst for a good friend, a gal and have those kind of friendship we see on Friends or Sex and the City? I know I always have the urge to find one of those people who would really care about me, listen me out with their love and energy left after they devoted the rest to their own families. But it is not easy, is it? I have had a few of these friends before, but all of them some sort of ended with our inevidable departure, or their inevidable marriages. Well, I do not think I have any reason to complain about their inefficient involvment with me any more when they have the excuses to be with their own loved ones.

Still I have a few married gals who really spend a lot of time with me simply because they do not have to spend a lot of time with their hubbies who mostly are very successful businessmen and logically always very busy at their bsuiensses. So we hang out and we confess each other. But then I decided to land in Australia, a totally strange land to me to explore life and business opportunies. That was the end of my own Friends show, like in my past life.

Now I only have him. My partner and now my hubby. I felt not easy to get close to any other gal friends anymore and I started to appreciate the preference to be with him over her. No matter how hard I tried, I just could not promise her a regular weekend dinner. And when she left for anther state, I shamelessly felt a relief.

And of course, I felt that emptiess of friendship in my life again from time to time. So I started to ask myself questions like: why do we have to have a gal friend? what kind of stuff we need to talk to each other exclusively? Is there an alternative?

Single girls have gal friends to talk about makeups and their boyfriends, plus shopping together when they can give each other not really perfect fashion opions.

Married women have gal friends, somehow now should also be married gals, to talk about cooking and their husbands, maybe sex on some people's occasions, but not very often as I heard.

For me, I am married, but I am not a good cook myself, so I guess I have not much to contribute in this subject. Husband discussion? For some reasons, I do not have anything to say regarding how bad or how lazy they are and ask other people for solutions so I can get him straight. He is good, so I do not want to please my other married gals by making up stories about the bad him.

So I need to find an alternative. En, maybe a male friend. Right, like those on the shows or stories who can be there for you always, less than a lover but much more than a friend. Problem is I have not found any or heard of any in real life besides on the shows. Even those gay friends like on Sex and the City who can help you dress and hold your hands never occured to me or anybody I know. Or say if there is one, how well you want your husband to take it? You want them to be friends too? If so, they are your mutual friends, not your own " exclusive friends" any more.

Then I got the breakthrough, or maybe the only perfect solution left. Why not I make good friends with him, my husband?

Yes, why not? Who has ever had to define marriage and friendships uncompatible?  Remember when you two first met, you acutally were in the best friends form. You discuss things around, you confess feelings, you help each other out, you have dinners at weekend. So the basis is there already, what happened after we kissed, we had sex and we got married and lived under the same roof 24/7? Nothing actually changed, it is we who automatically upgrad ourselves from a very intimate frienship into something called marriage. Then we started to learn to work on our marriages, we learned to hide our feelings, we learned to use techniques and before we realized we already forgot what we had at the very beginning, our Friendship.

So I decided to make him my best friend again. When I feel low at work or when I feel lonely at a far place, I phoned him and told him exactly how I feel right at that moment. We discussed sentimentality, we disscussed life and we look forward to future. We picked up our habbit of having a drink at the bar or coffe house regularly and we dress up for going out Friedy night. I did not expect how overwelmed he felt when he saw me so open to him again and he said he is thrilled by this new-found frienship with his actual best friend in the world.

I do not kwow how we are going to cope with this when we have kids. And then I thought , what would the problem if we have several more younger little friends!