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周末一笑：干净的杯子（转载）

(2017-01-20 17:26:41) 下一个

1 干净的杯子

Joe and Fred were helping to build a house in a village. The weather was very warm, there was a lot of dust everywhere, and by half past twelve, they were very thirsty, so they stopped work to have their lunch. They found the nearest small bar, went in and sat down with their sandwiches.

“Good afternoon, gentlemen. What can I get you? ” The man behind the bar asked.

Joe looked at Fred and said, “Beer, I think. Yes, a pint of beer each. Is that all right for you, Fred?”

“Yes, that's all right. ” Fred said. Then he turned to the man behind the bar and said, “and I want it in a clean glass! Don't forget that.”

The man behind the bar filled the glasses and brought them to Joe and Fred. Then he said. “Which of you asked for the clean glass?”

乔和佛瑞德在一个村子里帮忙盖一间房子。天气很暖和，到处都有许多灰尘。12点半的时候，他们觉得非常口渴，便停下来去吃午饭了。他们找到最近的一家酒吧，走进去坐下吃他们的三明治。

“下午好，先生。你们想要点什么？”柜台后面的伺应问道。

乔看了看佛瑞德说：“我想，啤酒吧。好，那就每人一品脱啤酒。这样可以吗，佛瑞德？”

“好的，可以。”佛瑞德说。然后他转过去跟柜台后面的侍应说：“我要啤酒装在一个干净的杯子里！别忘了。”

柜台后面的侍应倒满杯子后，拿给乔和佛瑞德，接着说：“刚才哪一位要干净的杯子的？”

2 医生向母亲索吻

During the doctor's periodic visit to my elderly mother, I told him that mother would be celebrating her 98th birthday in few days. Delighted by the news, he bent down and gave her a kiss for the occasion. He then announced that he, too, would be celebrating a birthday in few days and asked for a kiss in return.

When he left, my mother shook her head in disgust. "Can you imagine, " she said. "Seventy dollars and I had to kiss him too! "

医生按期来探视我的老母。我告诉他母亲不几天就要庆祝她98岁的生日了。医生听了也很高兴，为此，他弯下腰来亲了她一下。然后他说不几天他也要庆祝自己的生日，并要求她还他一个吻。

医生走后，我母亲厌恶地摇摇头。“你能想象吗，”她说，“付了他70元，我还得亲他！”

3 谁是第一个男人

A teacher said to her class：“Who was the first man?”

“George Washington，”a little boy shouted promptly．"

“How do you make out that George Washington was the first man？”asked the teacher，smiling indulgently．

“Because，”said the little boy，“He was first in war，first in peace，and first in the hearts of his countrymen．”

But at this point a larger boy held up his hand．

“Well，”said the teacher to him，“Who do you think was the first man？”

“I don't know what his name was，”said the larger boy，“But I know it wasn't George Washington，ma’am，because the history book says George Washington married a widow，so，of course，there must have been a man ahead of him．”

有个老师问班上的学生：“谁是第一个男人？”

“乔治·华盛顿，”一个小男孩当即叫道。

“你怎么知道乔治·华盛顿是第一个男人呢？”老师问道，宽容地微笑着。

小男孩说：“因为他是战时第一，和时第一，国人心中第一。”

这时一个大点儿的男孩举起手来。

“那么，”老师对他说，“你认为谁是第一个男人呢？”

“我不知道他的名字，”大点儿的男孩说，“但我知道不是乔治·华盛顿，老师。因为历史书上说，乔治·华盛顿娶了一个寡妇，所以在他前面肯定还有一个男人。”

4 浪费还是节约

Father: Oh, Jack, you have slept away the whole morning. Don't you know you are wasting time?

Jack: Yes, dad. But I've saved you a meal, haven't I?

父亲：噢，杰克，你又睡了一上午。难道你不知道你这是在浪费时间吗？

杰克：我知道，爸爸。可我还给您节省了一顿饭呢，是不是？

5 超速行驶的原因

Harry and Lloyd were speeding down the road. A police car pulled them over.

"Why on earth were you driving so fast?" the policeman yelled.

"Our brakes are no good, so we wanted to get there before we had an accident!

哈里与劳埃德超速行驶，一辆警车拦住了他们。

“你们为什么开那么快？”警官喊道。

“我们的刹车不好，因此我们想在发生事故前赶紧到达目的地。”

6 能允许它和我睡一间屋子吗

A man wrote a letter to a small hotel which he planned to visit on his vacation: "I like to bring my dog with me very much. He is well-groomed and well behaved. Could you allow me to keep him in my room with me at night?"

An immediate reply came from the hotel owner, who said, "I've been operating this hotel for many years. In all that time, I've never had a dog steal towels, bedclothes, silverware or pictures off the walls. I've never had to evict a dog in the middle of the night for being drunk and disorderly. And I've never had a dog run out on a hotel bill. Yes, indeed, your dog is welcome at my hotel. And, if your dog will vouch for you, you're welcome to stay here, too."

一个人给一家他计划在假期里停留的小旅馆写了封信，“我非常希望带着我的狗，它很干净很有教养，你能允许它和我睡一间屋子吗?”

旅馆主人立即回了封信，“我经营旅馆很多年了，狗从没偷过毛巾，床单，餐具，或者墙上的画。我也从没有在半夜因为狗喝醉胡闹而赶走它，狗也从不不付帐就跑掉。实际上我们非常欢迎您的狗来我们旅馆，如果它为您担保也欢迎您来。”

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