Baby

Topic drifted onto baby, started with her first climax, 6 months into the relationship between you and her. We both guessed that subconsciously, she might want a baby with you at that moment. Any first time intimacy has dramatic impact on one’s body and soul. She wrapped her legs around you, kept your seeds in her. That scene vividly stayed in my mind for a long time. Without jealousy, I imagined her emotions. In another word, I imagined feelings at the height of a sensual pleasure, with a man I am in love with. I would have talked to you afterwards, to straighten out the emotion, as well as to consolidate the psychological change in memory.

 

I said: if a woman doesn’t want children anymore, but with a specific man, she has the desire, that alone,  says something. What I didn’t say, is vice versa. When you told me you imagined a girl born out of us, I was touched. Last night, I didn’t avoid the topic, and it revived a memory in the soft spot in my heart. He desired very much a baby girl with me. Bathed in his passion flowed from his eyes at the time, I told him that it might be costly and difficult, but there is a way to reverse my condition. If we get married one day, and financially stable, I would try with him. The contrast between now and then, struck me at once.

A potential baby between you and her, he and me, and you and me, the thoughts circled in my head over and over. I hid my face besides your body, wiped off tears silently.