计算机问题服务笑话

Tech support: What kind of computer do you have?
Female customer: A white one...
技术服务：你的计算机是哪一种？
女顾客：是个白色的。。。

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Tech support: Click on the 'my computer' icon on to the left of the screen.
Customer: Your left or my left?
技术服务：点击在屏幕左边的“我的计算机“图标。
顾客：你的左边还是我的左边？

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Tech support: ;Good day. How may I help you?
Male customer: Hello... I can't print.
Tech support: Would you click on "start" for me and.
Customer: Listen pal; don't start getting technical on me! I'm not Bill Gates.
技术服务：今天好。 我可以帮你做什么？
男顾客：你好。。。不能打印。
技术服务：你可以给我先点击“开始“然后
顾客：听着老兄，别给我来这套技术的！我不是比尔盖茨。
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Customer: Hi, good afternoon, this is Martha, I can't print. Every time I try, it says 'Can't find printer'. I've even lifted the printer and placed it in front of the monitor, but the computer still says he can't find it...
顾客：嗨，下午好，这是玛萨，我不能打印。　每次我要打印，它就说‘无法找到打印机‘。 我甚至把打印机举起来放在荧屏面前， 可是计算机还是说它无法找到。。。

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Tech support: What's on your monitor now, ma'am?
Customer: A teddy bear my boyfriend bought for me at Woolies.
技术服务：现在你的荧屏上有什么， 太太？
顾客：有个泰迪熊， 是我男朋友在Woolies给我买的。
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Customer: My keyboard is not working anymore.
Tech support: Are you sure it's plugged into the computer?
Customer: No. I can't get behind the computer.
Tech support: Pick up your keyboard and walk 10 paces back.
Customer:! OK
Te ch support: Did the keyboard come with you?
Customer: Yes
Tech support: That means the keyboard is not plugged in. Is there another keyboard?
Customer: Yes, there's another one here. Ah...that one does work...
顾客：我的键盘不能工作
技术服务：你肯定键盘插在计算机上了吗？
顾客：不肯定。我没办法绕到计算机后面。
技术服务：把你得的键盘拿起来然后销后走１０步。
顾客：好的
技术服务：你的键盘能跟着你一起走吗？
顾客：是的
技术服务：那就意味着你的键盘没跟计算机联在一起。你还有另外一个键盘吗？
顾客：是啊，这儿是还有一个键盘。　啊。。。这个键盘能用。
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Tech support: Your password is the small letter "a" as in apple, a capital letter V as in Victor, the number 7.
Customer: Is that 7 in capital letters ?
技术服务：你的密码是一个小写的a，像是apple, 大写的字母V，像是Victor， 数字7 。
顾客：那7是大写还是小写？

== =============
Customer: can't get on the Internet.
Tech support: Are you sure you used the right password?
Customer: Yes, I'm sure. I saw my colleague do it.
Tech support: Can you tell me what the password was?
Customer: Five stars.
顾客：没办法上网
技术服务：你肯定你用的密码对吗？
顾客：肯定啊。我看见我的同事用来着。
技术服务：你能告诉我你的密码吗？
顾客：五个星
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Customer: I have a huge problem. A friend has placed a screen saver on my computer, but every time I move the mouse, it disappears.
顾客：我有个大问题。我一个朋友给我加了个screen saver (don't knwo the translation), 可是每次我一动鼠标器，screen saver 就没了。
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Tech support: How may I help you?
Customer: I'm writing my first e-mail.
Tech support: OK, and what seems to be the problem?
Customer: Well, I have the letter 'a' in the address, but how do I get the circle around it?
技术服务：我能帮你什么？
顾客：我再写我的第一个ｅｍａｉｌ
技术服务：好。你有什么问题？
顾客：嗯， 我有字母'a' ， 可是我怎么能把圈儿加上去？
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A woman customer called the Canon help desk with a problem with her printer.
Tech support: Are you running it under windows?
Customer: "No, my desk is next to the door, but that is a good point. The man sitting in the cubicle next to me is under a window, and his printer is working fine."
一个女顾客给加能服务台打电话， 她的打印机有问题。
技术服务：你是在windows系统下运行吗？
顾客：不是， 我的办公桌挨着门，不过你说到点子上了。我边上的办公格的人士是在窗子下的，他的打印机就好好的。
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And last but not least...

Tech support: "Okay Colin, let's press the control and escape keys at the same time. That brings up a task list in the middle of the screen. Now type the letter "P " to bring up the Program Manager."
Customer: I don't have a P.
Tech support: On your keyboard, Colin.
Customer: What do you mean?
Tech support: "P".....on your keyboard, Colin.
Customer: I'M NOT GOING TO DO THAT

然后最后但不是最终。。。

技术服务：好吧考林，你同时压‘控制‘和‘逃跑‘健， 这样可以在屏幕中间带出个任务表。现在打字母"P "来带出 the Program Manager。
顾客：我没有P。
技术服务：在你的键盘上， 考林
顾客：你这是什么意思？
技术服务："P".....在你的键盘上， 考林
顾客：我就是不做！

[tenyu]

中文能翻译一下吗？谢谢！