(mèm´e-rê) (图)

Memory (mèm´e-rê)

 

What keeps morphing

in the half light of morning

is your shadow ( a body

made of water ( a river

flowing through me

like childhood

Octaves dancing

on my soft

limbs

. . .

Occasionally

pearls of tear drop

& roll onto my lips

where the past resurrected

and that’s all I have now

You

:

an eternal river

taking all my

sorrows

away

*

*

zz

 

 

[z.z.]

u r so humble...

:)

cheers!!

[z.f.]

zz,

老实说我的记忆力很糟糕，我转头就能忘记所看的书。。。但我所能记得的是感受和感觉。。。能给我感受和感觉的我想忘也忘不掉。。。因为电脑的储存功能，我只是翻到那一页 ZT 过来罢了:)

所以其实我不是用的 "eyes" picking out the poems with similar themes...

I am de/coding "DNA"....“微明”中。。。（其实很糊涂:）

“I like the DNA de/coding is because this kind of scientific discovery reveals the complexity of human body --- not soul/spirit, of course --- but to know human body [a universe in its own rights] is to appreciate Life, i think....

Aren't you amazed by how our body works? How, for example, the skin can heal itself from a cut/wound??”

[作舟诗集]

zf,

you have keen eyes picking out the poems with similar themes....your mèm´e-rê is amazing.....i too thought of putting such poems together .... thanx!!!

wx000,

trust me, when i see something solid, i know it! such as your translation!

very glad you joined the club :)

sd: "...Lately I have been very busy, no time to carefully read everything. However, as you all know, my heart is with you as always. :) "

Your heart is as pure as water ....thanx :)


lz: "我的童年平静而美好。生活苦点但全家相依为乐。父亲的样子也如诗所说。
除了这些，还有他一生的坎坷在沉默中泰然的神态。我很想念他。"

Words from the heart!!!!!

mermaid, thanx as always!!

[律周]

谢谢z.f. 作舟的这首诗我也很喜欢。
我的童年平静而美好。生活苦点但全家相依为乐。
父亲的样子也如诗所说。
除了这些，还有他一生的坎坷在沉默中泰然的神态。
我很想念他。
以前写过他思念故乡汉阳的句子：好像是白发如藕，丝断天山。

　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　

[wx000]

“really solid Chinese foundation”？
说到中文水平，实在不敢当。在这里我是真正的小学生小读者。
感觉你们的文字很美，而且不仅仅停留于字面上。谢谢各位大师！

[地中海人鱼]

( a river / flowing through me / like childhood

Octaves dancing / on my soft / limbs

an eternal river / taking all my / sorrows / away

a thoughtful and penetrating work!!! beautiful and peaceful!

[z.f.]

sd, “…the heart, the intellect, or (more generally) the soul is susceptible…” :)

lz,你真是一个幸运儿，童年“柔软晶莹”:)

让我想起作舟的另一首诗：

“In My Dream, Father Is Defined by the Taste of Hills“

...
In my dream, childhood is defined
By the taste of bitterness
The sad house with sad
Furniture and sad relatives
Rearranging their sad lives
The girl reads the message
On the bitter wind
What’s lost in the past life
Has found its way back
...

《梦, 父亲和山》

梦中, 山的滋味
是父亲的定义
他孤独的身影
融入黯殇的土地
无言，静止
而我的童年
如女孩窃窃私语
在暖色的云絮下
悄然流逝

河流在女孩的眼里
飘. . .

她看见一只白色的巨鸟
鹰头凤翅
向沉默的父亲
俯冲而来
想夺走他嘴中
残留的语言

梦中，苦味
是童年的定义
悲伤的房里
悲伤的家具
悲伤的亲戚
在条理悲伤
的生活

女孩读着悲风
带来的音讯
时光流转
生命轮回

梦中，记忆的滋味
是爱的定义
一团烈火
在巨大的白色
羽翼下诞生
我们不再
担忧不测的伤害
不再恐惧
惊涛骇浪
会击倒父亲的身影
他平静泰然
像座不知名的
岩石

[律周]

柔软晶莹的童年是
永恒的河唯一带不走的

[by水滴]

Hi, everyone:

I wish that I had more time to read all your feedbacks and gave you some feedbacks. Lately I have been very busy, no time to carefully read everything. However, as you all know, my heart is with you as always. :)

[y.y.]

a classical version!

[wx000]

zz, i fell "you" in your poem must be somebody very very important in one's life, or simply the eternity. so use "您". a wild guess. thanks for sharing!

you are a real poet.

[z.f.]

哇, wx000, 太棒了!!!

你的翻译有创化的意境，只是“您"非“你”...感觉别样...

...
晃若儿时
随音曼舞
用我稚嫩的
羽翼
...

很美妙...

...
永恒之川
带走我一切的
哀伤

最后一句很有气势...

真开心 wx000 来分享你的翻译...

[z.z.]

wow,

wx000, really nice!!!!

you must have had really solid Chinese foundation!!!!

Can you tell me why you chose "您" instead of "你"??

thanx.....really enjoy it!!!

[wx000]

I like zz's this poem.

Adding some H2O,

记忆

晨光冥冥中
不住变幻的
是您的影子（水的
身躯）一条河
流淌过我
晃若儿时
随音曼舞
用我稚嫩的
羽翼
。。。
时而
晶莹的珠泪
滚落上我的双唇
逝去的已复活
而我此刻全部的所有
是您
。
。
永恒之川
带走我一切的
哀伤

*
*

[z.z.]

"瞎说八道":）???

No! No!

i think what you said is very poetic!!!

very impressed by your feeling toward those Chinese words....!!!

"...比如我一直想为“捕风捉影”平反，在艺术的感觉里，“捕风捉影”的感觉是很美的。。。另外语言有很多限定，难以跳跃，跳跃的感觉也是很美的..."

yes! this is what poetry is about!!! it is the central function of language!! even though many people don't know "poetry" when they are living in it, speaking it.....

thanks zf for the wonderful feedback!!

[z.f.]

"our mind is actually "restrained" by what we know in our first language...."

是的，因为语言从某种程度上说属“约定俗成”，而其实每个字有每个字很美秒的“原始”意思，真正的OPEN MIND，应该是词语没有褒贬（语言的褒贬来自时间的伤痕）。。。比如我一直想为“捕风捉影”平反，在艺术的感觉里，“捕风捉影”的感觉是很美的。。。另外语言有很多限定，难以跳跃，跳跃的感觉也是很美的。。。

比如有两句我从前翻译成：

过去于唇上复生...
是我此时的所有

我的思维常很跳跃很符合我的感觉，但遵循语言习惯我改成了

于唇上复生的过去
是我此时的所有

这样一来通顺了，一语中底（老实说我不怎么喜欢诗歌中一语中底的感觉）。。。于我而言，失去了“过去于唇上复生...”与“是我此时的所有”间隔的空间与情感在此间的流淌。。。恍如唇吻着过去。。记忆。。。唇欲吻。。。是我此时的所有。。。

而英文不是我们的第一语言，似乎带来更多自由，更多的画面感，没有束缚就是自由的感觉。。。人的情感是流淌的。。。人的思维是无限的，但是再无限如圆有圆心。。。知识也是，知识的质点闪光无限。。。所有追求真理的人走着不同的PATH，在同一处汇聚，扩散，汇聚，扩散，汇聚。。。像“fractals”的感觉。。。

You

:

an eternal river

taking all my

sorrows

away


很有意味，每个人都是一条永恒的河流。。。就像海洋河流积雪源头流淌入海，河流的源头当然不是高山上的积雪，积雪来自整个环境的转化，与海洋与风与水与等等自然相连。。。sorrows从何而来？？来自始终的限制。。。

（"瞎说八道":）???

[y.y.]

fully agree, even though it takes a lot of effort to break it since it's deeply rooted in us, it's worth of It . . . . destroying then creating, or creating is destroying :)

[z.z.]

in that sense, the purpose of poetry/art is much easier to be understood....
that is, to break through, to destroy the "frame".....

at least, that's what i think....

cheers!

[y.y.]

yes, our mind is framed :)

a poem has its own music in it . . .follow its melody . . .

[z.z.]

yy,

it's better!!

zf,

it's interesting for you to mention the "圆,无限,很流淌..."

it might have something to do with our sense of language [since English is not our first language]....

in writing Chinese, we are writing the way we were taught, or the stuff we have read in Chinese [school books, i.e.]....so, our mind is actually "restrained" by what we know in our first language....

[z.f.]

只因为题目“Memory”让我想起“Locus”，因为“Locus”里有问“What is memory?。。。”:)

I have had a good nap...thanks...

“i see that the line breaks in the poem provide different ways of phrasing in translation....really interesting!!!”

really interesting!!! 就像一首诗有很多面一样。。。很圆。。。很无限。。。很流淌。。。

我的中文很难把握英文那种流淌的感觉。。。

[y.y.]

i don't like that line either . . . :)

是你的影( 一 汪
水(从我身上

[z.z.]

zf,

thank you for bringing up "Locus"!!!! Forgot it already ... :)

really like the creative wording in your translation....maybe you have had a good nap?

:)

i see that the line breaks in the poem provide different ways of phrasing in translation....really interesting!!!

[z.f.]

记忆

在晨曦的微明里
自如转化的
是你的影（水做的
身体 (一条河
流淌过我
像孩提的
音乐舞在
我柔软的
肢体
。。。
偶尔
泪珠滴落
滚动在
我的唇
于唇上复生的过去
是我此时的所有
你
：
一条永恒的河
带走
我所有的
悲伤
*
*


让我想起另一首诗 “LOCUS”, 比较一下:)

LOCUS

(language is the needle
(thought is the thread
(the cloth is experience ... (by nick piombino


When you dream
you erase the writings
on the blackboard
of my memory

What is memory?
Is it the blurred words
imprinted after the erasing?
Is it the place
where the needle meets
the cloth?

Lovers meet
in the intervals
of music where day and night
are blurred
seeing and thinking
are blurred

Do you see "birds"
in "forever?"
Do you see "a house by the river"
in "first kiss?"

When time grows old
memory grows backward
younger & younger
each day

Between two unfinished paintings
a ceaseless flow;
Between two undying minds
a complete river...




:3/26/05

[the rain outside
like your murmuring
washing the silk
of my wakefulness]

《心之所在》


笔是针
思是线
衣裳是经历

-- by nick piombino



在梦里
你擦去我书写
在黑板上的记忆

什么是记忆？
是那抹不去的
模糊的字迹？
还是针与布
相遇之地？

情侣
相逢在音乐的间隙
那里
昼黑朦胧
所见与所思
业已恍惚

你是否在“永远”中
见到“飞鸟”？
在“初吻”中
看见“水边的爱巢”？

当时间老去
记忆却逆向而行
一日比一日
年轻

两幅未竟的画稿之间
流水滔滔不息
两个永恒的心灵之间
一条完美的河

[z.z.]

hi, yy, zf, how are you guys!

thankyou for the feedback!

nice rendition, yy!!!

"组成的身体(从我身上"... only this line is a lil rough....

but the whole translations flows....good word choices....

cheers!!

[z.f.]

beautiful!!!...yes...breath-taking and enlightening...

a love song flowing...

so happy to read a poem at napping noon...

yy's traslation is very beautiflul too... I will try my version later:)

thanks for sharing...

[y.y.]

回忆

在清晨的微光中
演变的
是你的影(水
组成的身体(从我身上
淌过的河流
如童年
在我柔软的
肢体上
无声地
舞
。。。

偶然
泪珠滴落
在我的唇上
滚动 - - -
过去重生
那就是我的
所有

你
：
一条永恒的河流
带走我所有的
忧伤

*
*

[y.y.]

breath-taking!!!
love it!!!