坐家妈妈

写儿童故事几年,终于鼓起勇气给大家看,请您多提宝贵意见。
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I am Mei Ling (1) 全部修改更新了!

(2007-08-10 05:33:01) 下一个

我对I am Mei Ling (1)又进行了修改,下面的是这次修改中我认为改的比较好的几个verses。

(126) old

I found a big beautiful urn

On a table that was near me.

I’m such a curious girl

So I quickly went up to see.

(126) new

I found a big beautiful urn

On a table which was tall, a bit.

I’m such a curious girl so

I quickly went up to see it.


(116) old

Being put to bed by her mom,

The little baby adored.

I had no one to play with.

Suddenly, I felt very bored.

(116) new

The adorable baby

Was put to bed in her room.

Suddenly, I felt very bored,

Standing like a silly broom.


(166) old

A red hat, scarf and mittens

Which my grandma knitted, I wore.

They were warm and much better

Than any bought from a store.

(166) new

I wore the red hat, scarf and mittens

That Grandma knitted when I was small.

They were very warm and much better

Than any bought from a big mall.


(183) old

I went inside and took

Some candies back quickly.

My snowwoman would have

A sweet mouth, wouldn’t she?

(183) new

I went inside and took

Some candies quickly back.

She would have a sweet mouth from

What should have been my snack.


(194) old

I came back to the basement.

The small window, I stood by.

Through the window, I waved to

The snowwoman and said, “Hi.”

(194) new

I came back to the small basement.

Sadly, I got a runny nose.

I said “Hi,”to the snowwoman.

I stood by the window on tiptoes.


(195) old

In the frozen winter wind,

The snowwoman smiled at me.

Wearing my hat, scarf and mittens,

She could be warm, hopefully.

(195) new

She smiled at me in the cold wind

Just after a big winter storm.

Wearing my hat, scarf and mittens,

Hopefully, she could be warm.


(197) old

Sneaking up to my snowwoman,

The animal had a quick look.

From my snowwoman’s tummy,

One cookie, he swiftly took.

(197) new

Sneaking up to my snowwoman,

He quickly looked from left to light.

From my snowwoman’s round tummy,

He took a cookie in broad daylight.

 
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