苦差事

这种天要出差到纽约上州那旮瘩去可真是活见鬼了。没法子，谁让俺们给资本家打工涅，上来冒个泡倒倒苦水便要动身。早晨5点半便给儿子学校的Delay电话吵醒不提，等会儿还得坐六小时的车还真真的遭罪，但愿路上一路顺风。

9：00pm
一路顺风到达Cortland，不过六小时的车可是坐的腰酸背疼。入住登记时公司的信用卡竟然给踢了回来，想来是俺久不出差，连卡都不认识俺了，只好自己先掏腰包垫上。纽约上州这旮瘩真够荒凉的，为吃顿晚饭楞是在小城转了三圈也没找到家有人气的餐馆，最后还是经加油站的大嫂指点，在一家叫好莱坞的餐馆吃了顿还像回事的晚餐。晚餐点的是Shore Dinner，油炸的Haddock，Clam, Scallops, Shrimp。分量真大，三分之一都没吃掉，后悔一开始干掉一大块面包和一盘沙拉。

餐馆出来冻的腿脚都不利索了，哆哆嗦嗦的一路抖到车里，一看车上的温度计显示7F。Mike Mark怨声载道说俺们到这干嘛来了。就是啊，大冷天的，到这疙瘩来，咳！

Although we like to think that the people in our lives are well-adjusted, happy, healthy minded individuals, we sometimes realize that it just isn't so. Personally, I've had moments where I'll be skipping through my day, happy as can be, thinking life is grand and BAM, I'll be blindsided by someone who manages to knock the happy wind out of my sails. Sometimes it is easy to write it off and other times, not so much.

Maybe you are a positive person, but when you are around a certain individual, you feel negative. Or, maybe you have an idealistic view of the world and when you are with certain people, you are made to feel silly, unrealistic or delusional. Or, maybe you pride yourself in being completely independent and in control of your life, but when you are around a certain family member, you regress into a state of childhood.

Some of these situations, and yes, these people, can have a tremendously negative impact on our lives. And, although we are all human and have our 'issues,' some 'issues' are quite frankly, toxic. They are toxic to our happiness. They are toxic to our mental outlook. They are toxic to our self-esteem. And they are toxic to our lives. They can suck the life out of us and even shorten our lifespan.

Here are the worst of the toxic personalities out there and how to spot them:

1. Manipulative Mary: These individuals are experts at manipulation tactics. Is a matter of fact, you may not even realize you have been manipulated until it is too late. These individuals figure out what your 'buttons' are, and push them to get what they want.

Why they are toxic: These people have a way of eating away at your belief system and self-esteem. They find ways to make you do things that you don't necessarily want to do and before you know it, you lose your sense of identity, your personal priorities and your ability to see the reality of the situation. The world all of a sudden becomes centered around their needs and their priorities.
2. Narcissistic Nancy: These people have an extreme sense of self-importance and believe that the world revolves around them. They are often not as sly as the Manipulative Marys of the world, but instead, tend to be a bit overt about getting their needs met. You often want to say to them "It isn't always about you."

Why they are toxic: They are solely focused on their needs, leaving your needs in the dust. You are left disappointed and unfulfilled. Further, they zap your energy by getting you to focus so much on them, that you have nothing left for yourself.
3. Debbie Downers: These people can't appreciate the positive in life. If you tell them that it is a beautiful day, they will tell you about the impending dreary forecast. If you tell them you aced a mid-term, they'll tell you about how difficult the final is going to be.

Why they are toxic: They take the joy out of everything. Your rosy outlook on life continues to get squashed with negativity. Before you know it, their negativity consumes you and you start looking at things with gray colored glasses yourself.
4. Judgmental Jims: When you see things as cute and quirky, they see things as strange and unattractive. If you find people's unique perspectives refreshing, they find them 'wrong'. If you like someone's eclectic taste, they find it 'disturbing' or 'bad'.

Why they are toxic: Judgmental people are much like Debbie Downers. In a world where freedom rings, judgment is sooo over. If the world was a homogeneous place, life would be pretty boring. Spending a lot of time with these types can inadvertently convert you into a judgmental person as well.

5. Dream Killing Keiths: Every time you have an idea, these people tell you why you can't do it. As you achieve, they try to pull you down. As you dream, they are the first to tell you it is impossible.

Why they are toxic: These people are stuck in what is instead of what could be. Further, these individuals eat away at your self-esteem and your belief in yourself. Progress and change can only occur from doing new things and innovating, dreaming the impossible and reaching for the stars.
6. Insincere Illissas: You never quite feel that these people are being sincere. You tell a funny story, they give you a polite laugh. You feel depressed and sad and they give you a 'there, there' type response. You tell them you are excited about something and you get a very ho-hum response.

Why they are toxic: People who aren't sincere or genuine build relationships on superficial criteria. This breeds shallow, meaningless relationships. When you are really in need of a friend, they won't be there. When you really need constructive criticism, they would rather tell you that you are great the way you are. When you need support, they would rather see you fail or make a fool of yourself.

7. Disrespectful Dannys: These people will say or do things at the most inappropriate times and in the most inappropriate ways. In essence, they are more subtle, grown up bullies. Maybe this person is a friend who you confided in and uses your secret against you. Maybe it is a family member who puts their busy-body nose into your affairs when it is none of their business. Or maybe, it is a colleague who says demeaning things to you.

Why they are toxic: These people have no sense of boundaries and don't respect your feelings or, for that matter, your privacy. These people will cause you to feel frustrated and disrespected.
8. Never Enough Nellies: You can never give enough to these people to make them happy. They take you for granted and have unrealistic expectations of you. They find ways to continually fault you and never take responsibility for anything themselves.

Why they are toxic: You will spend so much time trying to please them, that you will end up losing yourself in the process. They will require all of your time and energy, leaving you worn out and your own needs sacrificed.
All of these personalities have several things in common. 1) the more these people get away with their behavior, the more they will continue. 2) Unfortunately, most of these people don't see that what they do is wrong and as a result, talking to them about it will fall on deaf ears, leaving you wondering if you are the crazy one. 3) Most of these people get worse with age, making their impact on you stronger with time.

Frankly, life is too short to spend your time dealing with toxicity. If you can, avoid spending mucho time with people who are indicative of these behaviors and you'll feel a lot happier. Have you encountered these personalities? What have you done? Any personalities you would add?

虽然我们喜欢认为人民在我们的生活中是调教好，愉快，健康重视的个体，我们有时意识到它就是不那么是。 亲自，我有片刻，我通过我的天跳，愉快和可以是，认为生活盛大的，并且BAM，我由设法敲愉快的风在我的风帆外面的人思想僵化的。 有时把它描写和其他次描写，不非常是容易的。

可能你是一个正面人，但是，当你是在某一个体附近时，你感到消极。 或者，你可能有世界的一个理想主义的看法，并且，当你是以某些人时，你使感到傻，不切实际或者幻想。 或者，你可能自傲在是完全独立的和由你的生活控制，但是，当你是在某一家庭成员附近时，你退步入童年状态。

其中一些情况，和是，这些人，在我们的生活可能有巨大地消极冲击。 并且，虽然我们是所有人的并且有我们的‘问题’，一些‘问题’相当坦率地是，毒性。 他们是毒性的到我们的幸福。 他们是毒性的到我们的精神外型。 他们是毒性的到我们的自尊。 并且他们是毒性的到我们的生活。 他们可以吮生活在我们外面和甚而缩短我们的寿命。

这最坏毒性个性那里和如何察觉他们：

1. 操纵玛丽： 这些个体是专家在操作战术。 是实际，你可能不甚而体会你被操作了，直到太晚。 这些个体推测什么你的‘按钮’是，并且推挤他们得到什么他们想要。

他们为什么是毒性的： 这些人有方式侵蚀你的信仰系统和自尊。 他们发现方式做你做你不一定想要做的事，并且，在你知道它之前，你丢失身分你的感觉，你的个人优先权和你的能力看情况的现实。 世界突然变得在他们的需要和他们的优先权附近集中。
2. 自恋的南希： 这些人有高傲极端感觉并且相信世界围绕他们。 他们经常不是一样狡猾的，象世界的操纵Marys，反而，倾向于有点儿公开关于得到他们的需要适应。 你经常想要对他们说" 它总是不是关于you."

他们为什么是毒性的： 他们单独地集中于他们的需要，把你的需要留在尘土。 你留给失望和未实现。 进一步，他们通过使你非常集中摧毁你的能量于他们，你什么都没有为你自己。
3. 德比下面： 这些人在生活中不可能赞赏正面。 如果你告诉他们它是一美好的天，他们将告诉你关于紧急惨淡的展望。 如果你告诉他们你优胜了突破期中考，他们将告诉你关于困难决赛怎样是。

他们为什么是毒性的： 他们采取喜悦在一切外面。 你的玫瑰色外型在生活继续得到压与否定性。 在你知道它之前，他们的否定性消耗你，并且你开始看事与灰色色的玻璃。
4. 主观Jims ： 当你看事物如逗人喜爱和古怪时，他们看事物如奇怪和不吸引人。 如果你发现人的独特的眼光刷新，他们发现他们‘错误’。 如果你喜欢某人的折衷口味，他们发现它‘令人困扰’或‘坏’。

他们为什么是毒性的： 主观人民是很象德比下面。 在世界，自由敲响，评断sooo结束。 如果世界是一个同类的地方，生活是俏丽的乏味。 很多时间花费与这些类型可能疏忽地转换你成一个主观人。

5. 梦想杀害Keiths ： 在你有一个想法时候，这些人为什么告诉你你做不了。 当你达到，他们设法拉下你。 因为你作梦，他们是告诉它是不可能的你的一个。

他们为什么是毒性的： 这些人在什么被困住是而不是什么可能是。 进一步，这些个体在你自己侵蚀你的自尊和你的信仰。 进展和变动可能从做新的事和创新，作不可能和到达只发生为星。
6. 虚伪Illissas ： 你从未相当认为这些人是恳切的。 你讲一个滑稽可笑的故事，他们给你礼貌的笑。 你感到沮丧和哀伤和他们给你‘那里，那里’键入反应。 你告诉他们你被激发关于某事，并且你得到一个非常厌倦的反应。

他们为什么是毒性的： 不是恳切或真正修造关系在表面标准的人们。 这助长浅，无意义的关系。 当你真正地是需要朋友，他们不会在那里。 当你真正地需要建设性批评时，他们宁可将告诉你你是伟大的你是的方式。 当你需要支持时，他们宁可会看见你出故障或出自己的洋相。

7. 不恭的Dannys ： 这些人将说或做事至多不适当的时间和用最不适当的方式。 实质上，他们是更加微妙，长大的恶霸。 可能这个人是你倾诉并且使用你的秘密反对你的朋友。 可能它是放他们的好事者鼻子入你的事理的家庭成员，当它是无他们的事务时。 或者可能，它是对你说侮辱的事的同事。

他们为什么是毒性的： 这些人没有界限感觉，并且不尊敬你的感觉或，就此而言，你的保密性。 这些人将造成你感觉沮丧和不尊重。
8. 从未足够的Nellies ： 你不能给足够这些人使他们愉快。 他们采取你为授予并且有不切实际的期望你。 他们发现办法不断地非难你和从未承担任何东西的责任他们自己。

他们为什么是毒性的： 你非常将花费时间设法取悦他们，你将导致失去在过程中的那。 他们将要求所有你的时间和能量，留给你被用完和你被牺牲的自己的需要。
所有这些个性有几件事共同兴趣。 1)越多这些人逃脱他们的行为，越多他们将继续。 2)不幸地，大多数这些人没看见什么他们是错误的结果，并且，谈话和他们对此将没被理睬，留下想知道你是否的你是疯狂一个。 3)大多数这些人得到坏与年龄，使他们的对你的冲击加强与时间。

坦率地，生活太短的以至于不能花费你的应付毒力的时间。 如果你能，避免消费mucho时间与是表示的这些行为的人和你将感到很更加愉快。 你遇到了这些个性？ 你做了什么？ 你会增加的任何个性？