美国长大的麦克怎样看父母

美国长大的麦克怎样看父母 白雪 我在中文学校做义工，这两年暑假时给孩子们开了些免费课程，注意收集一些孩子的文章。为了让他们充分地表达自己的想法，允许他们用英文去写。我把其中的一篇翻译出来，供大家一读。（原文附上） 麦克是十四岁男孩，在美国长大。他在美国学校是尖子学生，在中文学校也是佼佼者。他的钢琴技艺更是精湛，曾多次获奖。看看他是怎样看待中国父母和美国父母教育孩子的。 麦克 噢噢……, 你是不是觉得要做的事情太多，你的脑袋简直要爆炸了？你肯定是这样，虽然说你的大脑已经没有空隙这么想。如果把这种感觉再加十倍，就几乎是每个中国学生的感觉。中国学生给人的印象是，在学校里个个是刻苦读书并拿全“A”的天才，从来不制造麻烦，都是班里的尖子，是好中之最好。然而，中国学生为这种形象付出了巨大的代价。中国家长比美国家长要严格的多。他们愿意为孩子提供最好的条件并希望他们成为尖子。在中国文化里，“中游”是不够的。正像一位中国家长说的那样：“每个人都可以做到良好，但是应该做得比良好更好，要当尖子就要付出更大的代价。”由于中国严酷的文化大革命背景，不难理解中国父母认为唯一的成功之路就是成为尖子。只有当了尖子，他们才最后满意。 另一方面，美国文化是围绕着“生命是短暂的，要充分地享受它”的信条。家长们也为孩子提供最好的条件并希望他们成为最好，但是他们的第一条原则是让孩子享受生活，允许他们活得充实、丰富。对美国家长来说，中游就很好了，孩子不需要当尖子，只要比起其他学生来还不错就行了。这就是为什么在美国文化里长大的学生一般只求良好，很少争尖子。 两种文化在发生碰撞的时候反差最为明显。举个例子，有两个学生，一个是中国学生，另一个是美国学生，他们都在数学考试中得了99分。美国学生回家告诉父母他在数学考试中拿了99分，父母会兴奋而激动，甚至会买些礼物奖励他的成绩。而中国学生回到家里告诉父母他的分数，父母便问“丢掉的那一分是怎们回事？”或“怎么这么简单的问题还会出错？”接着，他们会让孩子到自己的房间里去，把丢分的那道题再学习一遍。再举一个例子，中国学生和美国学生都想去看电影，但是中国学生在周日绝对不可能去，到了周末还要做大量的功课，即使做完功课，父母可能会以“太晚了”或“明天还要早起床”为理由而不让他们去。而美国父母则只是说“好吧，要当心，给你钱，玩儿个高兴，再见！” 中美文化有很多方面的差异，在这里不能一一列举。中国父母的方法很生硬很严格，而美国父母的却很放松。说不上谁对谁错，因为文化背景决定了教子方式。我个人认为，教育学生最好的办法是取中间道路。要帮助孩子取得成功，必须严格。然而应该让你的孩子享受生活，使他们不至于因为压力太大而走向自杀。这样说好像有点儿夸张，但是这样的事情的确发生过。 原文 Michael AHHHHHHHHHHH!!! Have you ever felt like that, where you seem not be able to think, you have so much to do that your head seem to want to burst? Of course you have. Now imagine that feeling times ten. It just so happens that almost every Chinese student feels like that. Chinese people are looked at in their schools as geniuses, hard-working students that get straight-A’s, people that never get in trouble, who are the top in their class, the best of the best. However, that label comes with a heavy price to Chinese students. Chinese parents are much stricter than their American counterparts. They want the best for their children and they want their children to be the best. In a Chinese culture, “average” is not good enough. As one Chinese parent said, “Anybody can be good, but to be better than good, to be the best is much harder to achieve.” With their harsh background through the Chinese Cultural Revolution, it’s easy to understand how Chinese parents feel the only way to succeed in life is to be the best. Once that level is reached, then and only then, is “good enough” finally achieved. American culture, on the other hand, revolves around one line, “Life is short, make the best of it.” Parents still want the best for their children, but their first priority is for their children to enjoy life, and allow them to live it to the fullest. To them, average is great. Children don’t need to be the best, as long as they are pretty good compared to other students. That is why it is quite common for a student living in the American culture to be good, but rarely are they the best. The differences between these two cultures become far more noticeable when they clash. Take this for example, two students, one Chinese, one American, both get a 99% on a math test. The American student goes home, tells his parents he earned a 99% on a math test, and they become ecstatic, maybe even going so far as to buy their children a present for their success. The Chinese student goes home and presents his score to his parents, and they start asking the child questions like “What happened to the other point,” or “How could you miss an easy question like that?” In the end, they make the student go up to his room to study the problems that they missed. Another example would be when students of each culture want to go out to the movies. Chinese students would never be able to go on a weekday, and on weekends, they must have all of their work done. Even then, their parents might have them stay home, saying it’s too late, or how they’d have to get up early tomorrow morning. American parents would just say, “Alright, be careful, here’s some money, and have fun. Bye!” The differences in these cultures are many, and the examples are too many to list. The policy of Chinese parents is very harsh and strict, while that of American parents are very lax. There isn’t a right or wrong policy to choose, as long as the one that is chosen is toward your liking. The best way to teach students in my opinion is to try to find a median between these policies. You have to try to help your child succeed and by doing that, you must be strict. However, you also need to allow them to enjoy themselves so as they won’t commit suicide from being too depressed. That may sound like an exaggeration, but it’s been known to happen.