Explanation: Marital seven-year itch (Origin: People\'s net)

Explanation: Marital seven-year itch
New China net Jiangsu channel mind Windows	www.JSxinhuanet.com	2005-06-29 15:42: 30	Origin: People's net

Marriedhas been long, the curiosity lost. Therefore, the emotion “exhausted”or caused the marriage to enter “the bottleneck” bored, if were unablechose effectively through this “the bottleneck” the method, themarriage will end.     “the seven-year itch” is a ship comes the word, the meaning tomean that many matters will develop the seventh year not to have someproblems by person's will, the marriage certainly are not exceptional.Married has been long, the curiosity lost. From fills the romantic loveto the solid marriage, in light being constantlytogether, each other has been too familiar, when love conceals theshortcoming or bilateral already fully exposed in idea different thistime. Therefore, the emotion “exhausted” or caused the marriage toenter “the bottleneck” bored, if were unable to choose the effectivemethod through this “the bottleneck”, the marriage will end.     Says from person's growth angle, most people are realizeperson own growth in the marriage. Love time and grasps to ownunderstanding is not clear, what spouse doesn't know the need. Afterparticularly along with marriage age increase, many families nurturethe baby, mothering duty arduous and education idea disparity, causesin the marriage the long-term accumulation contradiction to highlightslowly. Adds the bilateral life to develop path's difference, createsthe strength disparate and the common language reduction. The maritalexpert pointed out that the biggest divorce reason, is not the affair,but is the couple cannot coordinate, cannot live again in together.Says from the communication way, China has a slang “the acquaintancenot to reason with”, relations between husbands' and wives' have beentoo ripe, often neglects spouse's need, no longer chooses theexpression the way, in revealed oneself emotion time not covers up, inmany situations can injury and opposite party. After the child is born,mother's emotion migrates completely to the child body on, has becomethe bilateral emotion crux indifferently, each other's negative moodexaggerates mutually, causes the family atmosphere to be intense.     Then, very natural, the psychologists proposed avoids “the seven-year itch” some strategies: Prevented before the wedding.     According to the authoritative department statistics, hasthe problem in the marriage, initially carelessly unified theproportion is very big. In love time maintains more sober brains, ifperiphery if possible listens to friend's opinion, if can be under themarital expert's instruction to make the marriage to increase therational ingredient. Clarifies own some ideas and the idea, will treatfuture marriage with the rational vision.     Offer idea. Do not nitpick opposite party, do not hope forthat molds opposite party. But should self-examine frequently: What canI bring - - without cause for grief to opposite party the materiallife? Enrichment spiritual food? Security sense, happy heart? In thedaily life be from heart makes anything for opposite party, even if isthe smallest matter, a hug, a smiling face, a kiss, lets opposite partyrealize the tender feeling.     Leaves behind the space. Many marriages the trend perishin the fetter with the counter-fetter, therefore many people proposedthat must leave leeway the space to opposite party. Actually shouldleave leeway the space first for oneself, maintains the normal friendcircle outside the marriage, do not take the marriage oneself onlyspirit reposing. Promotes own life wisdom unceasingly in the contact,continual readjustment oneself, adaptation marriage.     The adjustment anticipated. The excessively highanticipation can form the contrast with the reality, creates thebilateral pressure. The spouse not necessarily is in the opposite sexwhich you know best most outstanding, but possibly most suits you, thiswas enough.     Choice divorce. The divorce imagines such fearfully notlikely. If both sides recognized that perhaps is the wrong marriage,the divorce is the unwisest choice. But after divorcing, still couldnot reconsider well oneself, is still not clear about itself to needanything the words, that only then true fearful. We saw frequentlyafter the first divorce, not too took the human regarding the marriageand the divorce, the marriage entered the non-steady state, gave peoplea hard time is born with presented the huge distortion.     The marriage is not the simple seven-year itch, actuallymany marriages, the marriage age achieve certain stage to be able tohave the problem. Especially in the present showing individuality time,everybody is not willing to put itself again, the divorce presents thenew characteristic: The marriage age is getting more and more short,the divorce rate is getting higher and higher. Actually, each personlooks like a book, the good book, reads the first time excited, freshand is anxious after reads when can desalinate, oneself must insert thenew content unceasingly, causes person Chang Duchang to be new. Buildsthe atmosphere which with own wisdom loves, carries through to the endthe marriage.