明亮的天空

后来太阳才慢慢地冲出重围,出现在天空,甚至把黑云也染成了紫色或者红色。这时候发亮的不仅是太阳、云和海水,连我自己也成了明亮的了
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性哲学(ZT)

(2007-01-23 18:46:08) 下一个

我和阿小草在阿小名那里被编在了一年级的慢班,因为我们没有看明白那个"一夜情"和"避孕的事情",(注,大蒜的事情看懂了.). 我们决定自学成材,因为她们不教我们, 说开课太麻烦.

这是我找来的资料.我估计很快我就会赶上平均水平,然后象先进迈进了.我很乐观,也很有信心.

我知道我这里的朋友们都很纯洁的,大家要是觉得内容有所妨碍,就跳过去吧, 你偷偷看了我也是知道的. :)




"I believe that sex is one of the most beautiful, natural, wholesome things that money can buy."
--Tom Clancy

很明显,这个家伙没试过毒品什么的其他好东西。

"You know "that look" women get when they want sex? Me either."
--Steve Martin

啧啧,女人想要的时候,表情多了。至少有一百多种。包括黯然垂泪。

"Having sex is like playing bridge. If you don't have a good partner, you'd better have a good hand."
--Woody Allen

这个是真的。还有人说,男人最好的朋友是他的右手,那个左手的感觉呢,是残疾人的感觉.

"Bisexuality immediately doubles your chances for a date on Saturday night."
--Rodney Dangerfield
我也想,就是不能.


"There are a number of mechanical devices which increase sexual arousal,particularly in women. Chief among these is the Mercedes-Benz 380SL."
--Lynn Lavner

赶紧去挣钱吧.

"Leaving sex to the feminists is like letting your dog vacation at the taxidermist."
--Matt Barry

这个女权主义者,就那么不吸引人?

"Sex at age 90 is like trying to shoot pool with a rope."
--George Burns
这个告诫我们, 行乐需及春.


"Sex is one of the nine reasons for reincarnation. The other eight are unimportant."
--George Burns
嘿嘿,这个,他其他八个一定不知道或者干脆忘了.


"Women might be able to fake orgasms. But men can fake whole relationships."
--Sharon Stone

这个很经典啊.还是男人厉害.


"My girlfriend always laughs during sex ---no matter what she's reading."
--Steve Jobs (Founder, Apple Computers)
这个可怜的Steve,也许他之所以才发明的Apple computer,可以有个替代品.


"My mother never saw the irony in calling me a son-of-a-bitch."
--Jack Nicholson
现在妈妈们都慢慢学聪明了,会用别的骂人的词了.显然他的妈妈慢了些.


" Clinton lied. A man might forget where he parks or where he lives, but he never forgets oral sex, no matter how bad it is."
--Barbara Bush (Former US First Lady -- and you didn't think Barbara had a sense of humor)

Barbara很了解男性的,看来吹箫的技能很抢手啊.


"Women complain about premenstrual syndrome, but I think of it as the only time of the month that I can be myself."
--Roseanne
这个家伙也很可怜. 不过,有一天能当自己还算是可以的啦. 有的更可怜的,常年累月的演别人呢.


"Women need a reason to have sex. Men just need a place."
--Billy Crystal

这个很绝啊.说明女人是智慧动物.

"According to a new survey, women say they feel more comfortable undressing in front of men than they do undressing in front of other women. They say that women are too judgmental, where, of course, men are just grateful."
-- Robert De Niro
我同意, 这个也是男人可爱的地方.

"There's very little advice in men's magazines, because men think, I know what I'm doing. Just show me somebody naked."
--Jerry Seinfeld
,这个证明了男人的效率.


"See, the problem is that God gives men a brain and a penis, and only enough blood to run one at a time."
--Robin Williams

看来男人的根本问题在于缺血.

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阅读 ()评论 (9)
评论
reader 回复 悄悄话 One more:
Woman to Man: I am not irritated by my P.M.S, it is Y.O.U.
明亮 回复 悄悄话 小小艾,既MM: 你们真的被我洗脑了.我转的都是好东西啊. :)
我已经贫血啦.等着你们输一些给我,这样我写的东西也过过脑子. 也不负你们的殷切希望啊.:)
asalways 回复 悄悄话 有同感,命苦的明亮姐姐,还是自己写吧。

最后一个最好笑,哈哈哈。又找到一个PERFECT EXCUSE,以后都可以把冲动不过头脑的,说成是贫血。:D
小小艾 回复 悄悄话 看完了,转载的不如明亮自己写的好看。:))

俺还是喜欢你自己的东西。
明亮 回复 悄悄话 魅力无穷啊,大老鼠,美女都乐意变了. 说实话,草,我也还是没弄明白,这不自己给自己造声势呢,我看咱们不用拘泥那一个问题了,咱把其他问题弄明白了,照样可以升级的,毕业的日子是掰着手指头就数出来的啦...
孤草 回复 悄悄话 这只老鼠太漂亮了,我可以考虑因为这老鼠变-Bi-sexual :)


报告明亮班长,今天的课上完了,但仍旧不能理解避孕那档子事,还需班长多多努力为我们补课, 多谢啦!
明亮 回复 悄悄话 哈哈,引来一个漂亮的大老鼠, 没见过这么漂亮水灵的.欢迎. :)
Dalaoshu 回复 悄悄话 haha, Super.
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