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小天使 (737)- 老调重谈的儿子自我保护能力

(2007-03-12 19:18:44) 下一个
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by smbh
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2007年3月9日  星期五  晴

        唉!儿子今天又受伤了。被一个比他小许多岁的孩子伤的。很心疼。
       
        今天那小孩子就拉着我儿子衣服后面的帽子,硬把我儿子往后拉倒在地,并拖了一段距离,衣领口勒得我儿子脖子上出了半圈很深的红印。儿子嗓子也被勒得疼得说不出话,被解救出来,很长时间都一个劲地边哭边咳嗽。事后那孩子的奶奶说,因为那小孩子在家中是老二,上有哥哥,下有弟弟,所以打架特厉害。
      
       欺负我儿子的原因很简单,就为抢我儿子手上一玩具。那玩具是我儿子在地上捡到玩的。别的孩子(并不是伤我儿子那小孩子前面玩的)玩好不要扔在地上了。
    
       儿子,唉!说得好听脾气好,说得不好听,就是很弱,不会欺负别人不算,连自我保护的能力都挺差。每次都是被别的比他小的孩子欺负。被打哭也就算了,最心疼的就是脸上常被别的孩子抓破。

       我从来不护着他,虽然心疼,希望他能自己解决这些问题。因为我不可能一直在他身边。所以我只能常常教育他自我保护。 我对他说,别人打他要还手。要对别人说“不”!还带他去学跆拳道,锻炼身体...不过这方面能力他依然很弱。
    
      也许真是我的遗传不好,想想自已从小到大,被欺负也从来就是忍着,没有一点点还击的能力。害得儿子也这样常被欺负。唉!以致于儿子怎么教也教不会如何“凶”一点。

      本就不指望儿子去欺负别人,只求他自己不受伤害。可是这么多年了,也没啥进步。每次许多孩子一起玩,有人哭有人被别的孩子打伤弄伤总是我儿子。
    
     儿子在学校在朋友们中的人缘是好的。也是我们朋友们中公认的脾气性格非常好的孩子,所有父母都喜欢让他们的孩子们和我儿子玩。放心,因为儿子从不欺负别的孩子。但是也是所有朋友们公认的,最不能自我保护的孩子。每次儿子受欺负哭了,受伤了,朋友们就说:“要提高你儿子的自我保护能力。”唉!但是如何提高呢?
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smbh 回复 悄悄话 非常感谢你这么详细的回复.努力提高中.
寂而不觉 回复 悄悄话 I'm a Mom to a little girl. I'm sorry to hear that your son gets hurt. Here is some of my thoughts for your consideration. Check out some library books about self defense. You will find information that will apply to both you and your son.

First and far most, teach him to say No. Be very specific with what to say and when to say it. Practice it at home with your son. Ask him to say the words loud. Practice with him with you pretending to be the offender. The way to say no is to say it very loudly and decisively, and in a similar to this. "No! I feel ** when you do *** to me. I don't like that. Please stop ***! You can fill in whatever applies to the blanks.

Kids look to you for directions. If wrongful action was taken like in this case of your son being hurt, you do need to stand up for your son, and ask the other kid to apologize and say they would not do this again. If the kid's parents are around, you need to tell the parent first of what happened. If the parent is not taking the right action to ask the kid to apologize, you need to suggest and insist it. The other parent's hitting the kid, however, is not what you want. It's more important for him to admit his fault to your son and say it will not happen again. I hope you don't take this statement offensively. I personally believe You not standing up for your son may send a signal to him that this happens and there is nothing can be done about it.

Hitting back, however, is not the right thing to do. Your son's being a nice boy is his strength. You don't want to trade that in. Teach him to say No. If that does not work, find the nearest grown up, be it teachers or parents, for justice. If he can't find some one right away, avoid the conflict by leaving the place.
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