小天使
孩子是父母眼中的天使。
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by Breezyemily
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Enjoy the birth
Since I don’t have Chinese software to type Chinese, I had always hesitated to speak here.
Now that we are talking about birth, I have to share with you adifferent picture from the one we hear from friends, relatives and the main stream media.
Birth is a natural process, not a disease. Without complication, it can and should be an easy, comfortable, and amazing experience (www.hypnobirthing.com). And for some, an ecstatic and sensual experience (http://www.timesonline.co.uk/article/0,,8123-2238733,00.html).
Formy first baby, I was told by the doctor at 39 weeks checkup that the baby is in breech. I asked about trying to turn the baby. And the doctor said even if the baby is turned, she’s too big for you todeliver naturally. So I had a scheduled C section without ever going into labor.
Katie was 8 pound 14 oz. She’s 4 now. And till today I can still remember the night after birth, I tried to get up from laying on the bed and nurse Katie, it took me 20 mins, and many trials just toget up! I guess C section is a surgery. I stayed at the hospital for 3 nights.
WhenI was pregnant again, I do not want a C section again. So I read a lot and was so much more well-informed.
I took the hypnobirthing class. Inthe class we watched birthing videos in which the mothers were so calmand birthing was so easy, no drama what so ever.
We couldn’t believe iteven after finishing the class. I told LD: I wish we can have a birth half as good as that.
After listening to the tape provided, one day itjust sank in: the whole nine month we are pregnant, all we have to dois to take care of ourselves by eating, drinking, sleeping, and maybe alittle bit more than just sleeping. We didn’t need any medical intervention to help the baby grow from a cell to a bundle of joy.
Think about it, it takes a lot of work to grow the baby inside of us.And our body takes care of it all. And birth is only the last step ofthe pregnancy, the baby coming out of our body. Why wouldn’t this last step go as smoothly as all the million steps before during pregnancy? Why does it take induction, aesthesis, forceps, etc.?
Once the idea sank in, I’m a true believer. So even though I was considered as slightly high risk mom: c section before, never went to labor (which means my body is like a first time mom), GD (preg. Related diabetes), I planned to have an easy and natural birth.
I was swimming all the way 2 days before the birth. People who work at the pool smile at me everytime I go there. They said one day you’ll be walking to the pool, pausefor the baby to come out and then resume walking.
In hypnobirthing, LD is the birth companion and an active component instead of just a helpless on-looker. LD was supposed to practicereading scripts to me.
Both LD and I had doubt about whether he will beable to “hypnotize” me since he’s not even a talkative guy. The firstnight he read a 5 page script to me.
The next morning I was very sorry to find out that he actually finished reading the full 5 pages. I fell asleep before he finished the first page.
After a week or two, theminute he starts to talk (reading the script), I fell asleep. So I wasable to sleep very well every night before the baby was born.
Then came my due date, and a week passed by, I had a little bit of bloody show early in the morning. In the morning I took a walk with LD in the neighborhood.
In the afternoon I sat on the deck and chatted with mymom while enjoying the sun. After dinner we had some visitors and packed. At 10:30 at night we were ready to go with a lot of things packed, yoga ball, music, pillows, socks with tennis ball in it, scriptfor LD to read, etc.
After checking in at the hospital, LD, my sisterand I chatted in the waiting room until a nurse came to get me at 12am. She was apologizing for the delay and said it was a very busy day.I couldn’t understand why she was apologizing at first since we werehaving a good time talking. Then I realized she probably thought I wasin pain and was anxious to get into the delivery room.
Afterwe settled in the room, my sister left and said she will come early inthe morning so that LD can go home and rest a little bit. We wereplanning for a 24 hour thing since that’s the average for a first-timemom and I had never had labor so the doctor was expecting mine to belike a first-time mom.
The midwife examined me and said I was almost 4cm. We dimmed the light, put on the music. When the surge comes, Ibreathe, and flow with it. The nurse was going to put IV on me.
She asked when was the last time you eat? I told her that I just finished dinner and I drank tons of water since then.
She said “oh, there is noneed for IV then”. If I had come to the hospital earlier there would beno food allowed. How can anyone function well without food for a longperiod of time, say 24 hours? I wouldn’t even if I miss one meal.
At 1pm the midwife decided to break my water. At 2 it wasn’t progressing much. LD suggested we walk around a little bit. We did and the surges come closer. Whenever it comes, I lean toward him or a wall, breathe slowly and thinking of how strong Maggie is.
Then I lay down again. The surges come farther. The midwife suggested we try something else. Shelet me sleep side way and taking a position that’s completed relaxed.
Sure enough the surges come stronger and stronger. And I kept onthinking: Maggie, you are great. You are so strong! Very soon she was telling me I was almost there.
I thought she was saying that just tomake me feel better since it wasn’t long ago that I was almost 4 cm. She then announced that I was 9 cm. It was 3 pm. Then she left the roomto look at another mom.
Within minutes I felt the urge to push. Up until then I was so confident and calm. Only then I was terrified: Idon’t know a thing about how to push. Somehow during my preparation Imissed the part on how to push!
I told LD: get the midwife now. Thenthe nurses directed me to push the baby out. During which they were saying to LD: you are doing a wonderful job! You seem like a pro. Where did you learn about birthing? And all he did was gently caressing me,and calming murmuring “you are doing great”.
At 3:43 Maggie was there,less than 4 hours in the delivery room. 8 pounds and 14 ozs. Exactly like her sister! Who said her sister was too big for me to have naturally? I used to wear size 2, if I can have a 8’14’’ baby, any body can have a big baby naturally.
When my sister came the next day she said I don’t look like someone who justhad a baby (I guess the image is exhausted etc.). She said I looked like I just didn’t sleep which was exactly what happened.
And LD said Ilooked so beautiful that I should have more babies. We went home at noon. And Maggie is such a joyful, funny, easygoing, and confident baby. SO EASY to take care of her sometimes I felt like she grew up allon her own.
Mysister-in-law asked me: Didn’t you feel the pain when it was mostpainful? I said: What pain? It was never painful. It was such an empowering experience. I felt like I had a rebirth, full of love and confidence. And I heard from a lady that she felt she died once. What adifference.
An easy, pain-free, and comfortable 4 hour birth. No epidural, noepisiotomy, no forceps. 8’14’’ first time baby. Nature will take care of it when we trust in and surrender to our body and the baby. Enjoy your birth!
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Yes, it's our mindset. The mind controls the body. When someone mentions our favorite food, we salivate. When listening to a horror story, we may shiver or have goose bump. When we are in fear, our body has the fight or flight reaction.
Imagine putting on a turtleneck sweater (for the baby to come out of the birth canal). If the turtleneck is soft and loose, it’ll be easy. Yet if the turtleneck is stiff and tight, you’ll have a hard time pulling your head out. There are two main set of muscles involved in labor: the circular and the horizontal ones. When we are completely relaxed, the circular muscles are loose and so are all the muscles not involved in labor. Nothing is in the way for the horizontal muscles to work beautifully: retract and relax, retract and relax …, and push the baby out.
When fear gets in the way, muscles are tense, the circular fibers at neck of uterus tighten, and it’s hard for the horizontal muscles to contract, blood and oxygen go to the defense system and uterus is not part of defense, thus baby is oxygen deprived, pain is created, medical intervention is introduced, etc.
So the first thing is to believe that labor should be an easy and natural process. And the second is to tune our body to be able to relax completely and just go with the flow. Imagine surfing, if you are scared of it, sure enough when the first wave comes, it’s going to scare you even more, then you try to fight it, only to be thrown into the water, becoming more scared, etc. The vicious cycle continues. But if you are relaxed and had learned how to go with the flow, you’ll be able to ride it out and actually have fun. If you don’t surf, imagine skiing, swimming in the river, or making love and have an orgasm. What if we had been told by EVERYONE EVERYWHERE that sex is suppose to be excruciatingly painful and medically complicated and we'll be put in an operating room with all kinds of machines hooked on us and medical staff standing by when we perform?
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这种分娩方法和我们普遍听说的的那种“大呼小叫”和痛不欲生的过程最大的区别是什么？是孕妇的精神状态吗？