Athousandyears,athousandmore,
Athousandtimesamilliondoorstoeternity
Imayhavelivedathousandlives,athousandtimes
Anendlessturningstairwayclimbs
Toatowerofsouls
Ifittakesanotherthousandyears,athousandwars,
Thetowersrisetonumberlessfloorsinspace
Icouldshedanothermilliontears,amillionbreaths,
Amillionnamesbutonlyonetruthtoface
Amillionroads,amillionfears
Amillion...[
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Iamalwaysintriguedbyhumannature,andthatisonereasonthatIliketoreadfictions.Iammoreinterestedinthestorythanthewritingitselfmostofthetime.EversinceIwasyoung,myfathergavemelotsofaccientChineseliteraturestoread.Hetoldme,nomatterwhathappens,humannatureneverchanges.HewantedtometoexperiencemoresothatIcanmaketherightchoicesinlifetomakemylifeeasier,andhappier.Unfortunately,Idon'tthinkalloftheexperiencescanb...[
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Ihopealliswellwithyou,asalways.Iwassohappyforthetwo
daysIwasabletoseeyou,howeverbriefourtimewas.Something
aboutseeingyousmilemakesmeexcitedandhappy,andIunderstand
whatyoumeanaboutlaughingwhenyouseeme.
Imissbeingaroundyou,andIstillwakeeverydaytothoughtsof
you.LastnightIfellasleepthinkingofthetimethathastranspired
sincewefirststartedbecomingclose,andallthethingsthathave
h...[
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"Tothedesertgoprophetsandhermits;throughdesertsgopilgrimsandexiles.Heretheleadersofgreatreligionshavesoughtthetherapeuticandspiritualvaluesofretreat,nottoescapebuttofindreality."
-PaulShepard,ManintheLandscape:AHistoricViewoftheEstheticsofNature
Ihavebeenhangingontothatquoteforthelastfewdays,tossingitaroundinmymind.Forsomereasonitcaughtmyattention,gavemerealpause.ItdescribeshowIhavealwaysf...[
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Howwasyourdaytoday?Iimagineyoumusthavebeenrealbusy.
Ispenttheafternoonreading…I'vebeendoinganawfullotofthatlately.Reading,thinking…
Itwassogoodtohearyourvoiceyesterday,Idon'thavewordstotellyouhowmuchImissseeingyou,beingnearyou,walkingyououtatnight.Kissingyou,holdingyou.Iknowallthispatiencewillbarefruitsomeday…
Idon'tthinkIhaveevercorrespondedwithsomeoneasmuchasIhaveyou.Ilovewritingy...[
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Ithinkyouareright...mymindhasbeensoactivelately,it's
actuallyunusual.IthinkwhenIamusedtoaroutine,thingsare
easier.Iguesseveryoneneedsroutinetosomedegree,butIalso
neededtimetothinkhardaboutwhattodonextinmylife.Stillnot
sureaboutthat...itisactuallymorethanjustplanning,too…
Itishardtoexplain,butthelastfewmonthsIfeellikeIneededto
keepmymindopenforsomethingimportant.Rememberwhe...[
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Notsurewhy,butIamstillnotwell.:(
Ifthiskeepsup,Imightjusthavetogotoadoctor,Ithink.
Hopefully,itisjustatemporarything.UsuallyIwaitsicknessout,
anditgoesawayonit'sown.
Fornow,IthinkI'lljustblameitonthefactthatIamapartfromyou!;)
Anyway,howhasyourweekbeensofar?Ihopeeverythingiswell...has
Haobeentreatingyouokay?Ihadaterribledreamlastnightofhim
grabbingyou,andyelling.Idon'tkn...[
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Iftherewerenootherpeopleorcomplicationstoconsider...
Whatisitthatyouwanttohappen,asfarasyouandIareconcerned?
Justwondering,
Whatdoyouthink?Youalreadyknowtheanswer.:)Iloveyouandifthereisnootherpeopleinvolved,Iwillfollowmyheart.
Whatdoyouwanttohappen?;)
Myanswerislongerthanyours...
Barringanykindofcomplicationsorpeopletoconsider,Iwantto
spendtherestofmydayswithyou.Iwantto...[
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Youaresocute.Yousentmemyownpicture:)Thanksfortheprayingmantispicture.I'dneverseentwoprayingmantisestogether.ThefirsttimeIknewtheterm"prayingmantis"Iwasalittledisappointed.BecauseinChinese,ithasthename螳螂(youprobablycannotseethesetwocharacterswithyourcomputer)whichsomehowIthinkspecial.InChina,theimageofaprayingmantisisaquietworrier,andthe"prayingarms"aresaidtobe"bigknives".Prayingmantisestheremigh...[
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Ihopeyourdayisgoingwellsofar…IwishIcouldbetherewithyou.
Ireadyoure-maillastnightoverandoveragain…mymindbecameso
fullofwords,thoughts,thingstotellyou.Ifthereisanydoubtor
wonderinghowIfeelaboutyou,youneedtoknowthatwhenIclosemy
eyes,Ifeelthatwearetogether.Icanfeelyouinmyheart,inmy
soul.Forsomereason,andwithoutanyeffort,youhavebecomeapart
ofme.
Lastnight,Ilaiddownand...[
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