Icanhearthesoundofmyheartbroken.ButIamsolostanddon'tknowhowtostopit.WhatIknowisIamchanging.Iamnotthestrong,undefeatableme.I[
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TheThanksGivingiscoming.Peopleinthelabareplaningonvacationexceptme.FeelsolonelyandhopelesseventhoughItellmyselfthatlifeisshort,itisuselesstobepanicinsteadenjoythelifeIhavenow.But,stillnotsrongenoughtofacethecominghappyholiday.AmIgoingtobelonelytotheend?[
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IknowIlikeT,IknowIalsohatemyselfbecauseofthis.Tismyboss,heismarriedandthesecondchildiscoming.Idon'twanttodoanythingwithhim.Iknow,thereisnothingIcandowithhim.But,wheneverIthinkaboutIwillleavesoonerorlaterandImayneverseehimagain,Imayneverconnectwithhimagain,Icanfeeltheheartbreaking,thetearscouldn'tstopfalling.But,heknownothingaboutthis.Ihavebeensocool,Icoveredsogood.exceptwork,Idon'ttalktohim.Igetma...[
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Ialwaysgotexcitedwhenitsnows.IguessitisbecauseIwaslivinginthesouthpartofChinawhenIwasachildanditrarelysnowsinmyhometown.Inmymemeory,itwasalwaysfullofsurpriseandjoywhenitsnow.Itissoquiet,sobeautifulandpure,likeangelscomefromtheheaven,likeflowersfromthesky.Itmeltsinyourhand,meltsonyourface....Thememeoryfromyourchildhoodissodeepinyourmind.Ihaveleftmyhometownforsomanyyears,andIhavealwayslivingincities...[
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Ihadbelievedthatthereisaspecialoneforme,Ifindhimandlovehim.Ihadbelievedthatthespecialonewillfindmeandloveme.But,Iamnotsureaboutthisanymore.Hecametomylifelikefate,eventhoughwearesetupbyanotsoclosefriend.Thefistmeetingwasn'tbadinmyoppion.Wetalked,especiallyItalkedmuchmorethanIdidnomally.Iamnotatalkingperson.Ithoughthelikedme.But,wedidn'tcontactafterthatforabout3months.Iwasconfusedanddidn'tknowwhatId...[
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Ihadasovividlydreamlastnight,andIcouldnothelpthinkingaboutitallthetimetoday.
ItwasonourgroupmeetingandIwasdoingalecturepresentation.Iwasnotveryhappyaboutmytalkbecausethepaperwaspresentatedonthelastgroupmeetingseveraldaysagobymyself.So,inthemidleofthetalk,IfeltsomethingwaschokinginmythoatandIwentouttoclearmythoat.WhenIcameback,IsawTom(myboss)andChristina(Labwife,acctuallyagraduatestudentinourla...[
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Ialwaysaskingmyself,whymylifeissoboring?IsitbecauseofmypersonalityorbecauseIaminusa?
Mylifeisprettysimple,thatisacctuallywhatIwanted.Iamasimpleperson,Icanonlyfocusononethinginonetime.So,myworkistheonlythingIcare.NormallyIfeelgoodwhenIambusyinwork.But,whenIhavenoworktodo,Ifoundmyselfnowheretogo.EvenwhenIwanttogoshopping,nobodytoaccompany.Thatissopathetic.[
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