College Essay 系列 (二十七)：Hardly Essay (3) 普林 WL文书

华裔男生的普林斯顿WL文书 《My Camera》

 

Candice is her name. A little bulkier than most but has all the curves in the right places. Anywhere I go, she's right there with me, hand in hand. I was in the eighth grade when I met her, and oh boy, it was like love at first sight.

As I walked into that vintage camera store and set eyes on the dusty Canon AE-1 film camera on the middle shelf just above eye level, I knew we would be best friends for a long time to come. Ever since then, Candice has been my partner in crime as we work together to find a balanced exposure, compose the frame, and snap the perfect shot.

Photography has always been more than just taking a quick pic on my phone, slapping on a filter, and posting it on lnstagram in hopes of likes and comments. Still images are so intensely personal; anyone viewing the photo will have a different interpretation shaped by his or her experiences, but only the photographer knows what was going on in their head when a single moment in time was frozen forever.

It took me a long time to flip the switch between photography as a hobby and photography as a platform to share my experiences with the world around me and it's almost even turned into a metaphor for my life.

Are certain aspects the subject of my shot when my focus should be elsewhere? Am I finding the right balance between shadows and highlights, or am I too focused on the darkness that I completely forget about the light in my life? Should I be looking at this in black and white or taking all colors into account?

Over the years, Candice has served as the lens through which my perspective was constantly challenged. Through thick and thin, she stood by my side and eventually helped me earn an all-expenses paid scholarship to Ecuador and the Galápagos Islands with National

Geographic Student Expeditions.

During our second week, after playing an arranged game of fútbol with some children of the village, I leaned over to a spectating young boy and asked, "Hola, ¿cómo estás?"

He looked up at me with pleasant surprise and replied, "¿Tú hablas español?"

I'm sure it wasn't often the boy met a young Asian who could speak his language in a small village off the tourist path of Ecuador. After striking up a conversation and capturing an image of the boy, he came around to glance at my LCD screen and the joy immediately illuminated his wide grin as if this may have been the first time he had seen a portrait of himself.

Through a simple photograph, all perceived linguistic and cultural barriers had been torn down and a meaningful connection had been formed. When I look back at this photo years from now, I may not remember who won the game, but I'll always remember the power of that child's smile and its lasting effect on me.

They say you never forget your first love. Despite the fact that Candice remains retired in a drawer after years of demanding work, the experiences I have captured with her and the impact that photography has had on my outlook of life, will last forever.

It's little memories like this exchange with the young boy that have accumulated to shape the person I am today. When I look back at all the adventures of my short 17-year span lifetime, I've come to the realization that my journey with Candice has allowed me to capture the most meaningful moments, shine light on new perspectives, and live my life through a different lens.

 

= = = 点评 = = =

咱，还是先说好听的咯。

Candice，哦，Canon AE-1，这篇就是上一篇建议过的，以Camera实体当主线的好文书。这篇，就这样起了一个好开头！Bulkier, curve, dusty, partner in crime 这些词眼，都是有着鲜明的文字个性的好词儿。

但是，好开头不等于好故事。你们听我这个用词儿，我说了好故事，没说好文书。这就是很多人说的Narrative Essay。

这篇可惜，又是一个写了好几版得开头，然后虎头蛇尾的文书案例。从遇见Candice，进入与她为伴的摄影生涯，作者给我读了些什么呢？Statements 加 Questions，直到赢了个去厄瓜多尔的国际旅行奖。可是，用什么摄影作品参选并获奖的，居然一字未提。作者是指望AO去Activity List里去找到答案，但是这个被List出来的答案，能勾起情感共鸣就少了许多。

接着往下读，给厄瓜多尔男孩拍了照。照片中的男孩的微笑，逾越语言的障碍。这看起来好像也有好故事的素质。但是，既然要让Candice去逾越有perceived linguistic barrier，作者嘴里的那句"Hola, ¿cómo estás?" 就成了主题的dilution。毕竟嘛，作者的基本西班牙语的能力已经把linguistic barrier降到最低了，需要Candice去逾越的障碍也就不那么高了。

文书以 live different lens 结尾，这也是个不明所以的概念。How different? On what it is different？关于遇见Candice之前的生活和作者的思想，这篇文书在前面根本没有给出过，也就无从谈起结尾处的 difference。这样的文字构造，属于写作上的败笔。作者脑子里有那个Difference，但却没有落笔给读者的故事证据。

读到这篇的AO，一定是后来从申请中，了解到作者意指的 difference 是什么了。只是这篇文书并没有恰倒好处地驾驭AO的情感而已。这就是普林先给作者一个WL的道理所在。