讀書筆記 to whom the child is born ( East and West)

I read the article: “ To Whom a Child Is Born” In the book “ East and West”. It tells the story of a Japanese girl in America , who has no brothers and so her father wanted to adopt her fiance as his son to inherit the family. But she and her fiance had sex before marriage and became pregnant, which was considered shameful and her fiancé felt unworthy of being her father's son and did not want to marry her. So she asked another family to adopt her unborn child. It reflects the feudal family ideology of some Japanese people in those years : for family inheritance , sons are preferred to daughters ; and marriage morality, women are required to be chaste.

1) Elizabeth Anderson was a executive director of a private adoption agency and Michelle was a caseworker. Michelle told Elizabeth there’s a Japanese girl,  Mariko Tanaka,she had a three months baby unborn,want to place her baby for adoption, baby’s father, Tomio Nagai , is Japanese but American also, intellectual , a war hero in the battle at Anzio,Italy.  The hero does not wish to proceed with the marriage .Elizabeth saw the girl and said: “ I think your family should know” , the girl said: “ My mother knows” Elizabeth told the girl she wanted to have a talk with her family. The girl said she’ll bring her mother here tomorrow.       
Leave office, Mariko met Tomio in the Park, said: “ You needn’t worry any more about the baby, I’ve arranged everything”.    

2)(A) The next day, Mariko’s mother, Mrs. Tanaka didn’t appear.So, Elizabeth was going to Tanaka house. Mrs.Tanaka told Elizabeth: “ It is difficult for you, an America lady, to understand. We areJapanese”, “ I have five daughters, Mariko is the eldest, I have no son.”. 
Mariko said: “ It is a problem in a Japanese family. My father wished Tomio to become his son legally. Tomio’s father killed himself, and the mother took poison. Tomio respects his father very much .” 
Mrs. Tanaka said: “Let me begin with myself .For Japanese women, the hope of success in marriage is to give husband a son.It is essential for a man to have a son . My husband’s young brother was killed in the Pacific during the war .We knew the parents of Tomio Nagai .Tomio is very proud .He cannot disgrace our family with a child of the sort we called ‘wild’.Tomio feels he was disgraced my husband , he is not worthy to be our son .He does not wish to marry Mariko .” “I cannot hurt my husband, he saved my life. In six years we had five daughters.Other women have sons, why not I? I reproached myself . So I tried again, it was too soon. The doctor said to my husband: ‘your wife is not responding well, I cannot save both the mother and the child, which shall I save?’ ‘Save her life’, my husband had whispered. I owe him everything. So how can I make him unhappy now? I will not tell him about the wild child .”
(B) Elizabeth went to see Tomio Nagai . She said: “ Mariko asked us to place the child for adoption as soon as it was born. I understand your wish  not to wound your father in law to be. But if you don’t become his son you will wound him anyway”.Tomio said: “ I no longer wish to marry”. He said he had begged Mariko several times after they were engaged. She resolutely refused him. He was not a virgin.  He thought of himself as American that time in the army. But he never expected how had it happened. His parents were died, when he came home he had met Mariko at the university where Dr. Tanaka was a professor. He was proud when Dr.Tanaka asked him to be his son. At that day, he told her: “ I love you differently today” and she had flung himself against him , cried: “I  love you”. They lay on the matted straw. I was appalled at what I had done. But how could I know that she would so weak. The baby doesn’t belong in that family.The baby would destroy the family .I can’t go to Dr.Tanaka and say, look I’ve made your daughter pregnant, I’ve let him down .
(C) Elizabeth had failed with Tomio, but she could go to Dr. Tanaka. Perhaps his heart would melt at the news of a grandchild, even though but a ‘wild’ one. Tomorrow morning, she went to his office. But it seemed impossible to tell the truth.
Dr. Tanaka told her :America has been too kind to me , I have become a citizen. In my will I asked to be buried in Japan, my ashes I must return to my ancestors .I have no son.There is no one to take my place in the family when I die.But now, I will have a son.……
3) It was indeed impossible to tell him. Then she went back to the office. She told Michelle: we must somehow help Mrs. Tanaka. The baby doesn’t belong in that family. We must take the baby and then Tomio Nagai must marry Mariko. And must keep the secret of the baby.
Then she made a call to Mrs. Tanaka .said: “ You must tell Mariko she has to marry Tomio if I take the baby. Tomio very much wants to be Dr. Tanaka’s son. But he has to understand that is his Japanese duty. Else Dr.Tanaka will have lost everything.  I will find the very best home for the baby”

4) I think:(A)It is not unethical for unmarried couples to engage in sexual activity before the formal wedding. This is different from the nature of extramarital affairs between married couples. It's unreasonable for Tomio to refuse to marry Mariko because of this. Dr. Tanaka should be happy for having a grandchild soon. 
(B) Giving birth to a boy and giving birth to a girl are the same, both boys and girls inherit the family. Mrs. Tanaka believes that the success of women's marriage was giving a son to their husband is too outdated, and society is progressing towards gender equality.                                                                          

Discussion Prompts

1. This story would seem to be a difficult, maybe even a disturbing one to contemporary Western readers.  What was your reaction? 

2. How effective is the story’s opening?

3. What seems to be the general attitude toward women as portrayed in this storyof an old-fashioned Japanese-American family?  

4. How did Mrs. Tanaka feel about her husband’s decision to save her life when the delivery of her fifth child became very difficult and both her and the baby’s lives were in danger?  

5. What do you notice about the structuring of the episode in which Elizabeth visitsthe Tanaka household?  What is its effect?  

6. In a fleeting moment at the party where Dr. Tanaka announces that Tomio will become his legal son by marriage, Dr. Tanaka forgets to announce that Mariko and Tomio are engaged, even though Tomio’s adoption as his son depends on Tomio’s marrying his daughter.  The guests at the party have to ask whom Tomio is marrying.  An oversight, or a telling detail?  

7. How has the experience of this Japanese family’s problem seem to have affected Elizabeth?  

8. How did you react to Elizabeth’s decision not to tell Dr. Tanaka about Mariko’s pregnancy? How would you explain/justify her decision?  

9. Is it likely that Tomio and the Tanaka women will be able to make the sacrifices that Elizabeth suggests to keep Dr. Tanaka from losing the chance to have a son, to avoid the shame and embarrassment that accepting the “wild child” would bring?  

10. How might Dr. Tanaka have responded had his family and Tomio shared the truth of their situation with him?

11. Tomio has been recognized as a war hero for his bravery at the battle of Anzio.  Does he prove himself to be much of a hero in this story?

12. How would you describe Mariko’s situation?  Mrs. Tanaka’s?

13. What kind of man is Dr. Tanaka?  Is he a selfish despot who keeps tight reins on his wife and family, wedded to traditions of duty and loyalty to ancestors, or is he capable of “thinking outside the box”?   

14. What may have been the author’s motive in telling this story? Is it possible that Buck is being satiric?  

[周泰]

Brief Notes on the History of Gender, Marriage and Family in Japan
During both the Tokugawa era (1603-1868) and the Meiji period (1868-1912), Japanese society was patriarchal, and a traditional family system was in place. Within this system, the first son was heir to the family. He was its leader and was responsible for each family member. He was to run the family business and was responsible for educating the prospective heir. Daughters were prepared to be good wives and mothers, and throughout their lives owed obedience to men—as children, to their fathers; as wives, to their husbands; as widows, to their sons.
From the Meiji period to the end of World War II, the family was viewed as the building block of the state, and the goal of marriage was to continue the family line, to benefit the household, and contribute to the development of the state. The family, by law, was a hierarchical household with a legally designated head, responsible to the state and charged with maintaining household records. Marriages were arranged and approved by the head. The economic and political functions of marriage were seen as superior to individual benefits, although an individual could benefit from marrying into a good family. Such an individual would be expected to scrupulously carry out prescribed roles based on hierarchy, gender and household customs.
These views and practices gradually changed following the world wars. After World War I, for example, Japan recognized the existence of the nuclear family and began to regard marriage as the union of individuals with equal rights in marriage and divorce. Today, Japanese men and women are equal before the law, but the patriarchal system is deeply rooted, and women tend to be more impacted or constrained by social expectations, stigmas, and norms of behavior. This is particularly evident in cases of women who give birth out of wedlock. The protections once in place under the family system no longer prevail, and unmarried mothers have no one to complain to or rely on when there is no legal father or husband. There is no protection from the state. They are left alone to support the children and tend to be marginalized in Japanese society. (Adapted from “Marriage in Japan: Yesterday, Today, and Tomorrow,” Association for Asian Studies: Education About Asia. Online Archives and “Unmarried Women and Illegitimate Children in Ogawa Yoko’s Novels,” Japanese Studies, Faculty of Humanities, Universitas Andalos, Indonesia.)