讀書筆記 to whom the child is born ( East and West)

I read the article: “ To Whom a Child Is Born” In the book “ East and West”. It tells the story of a Japanese girl in America , who has no brothers and so her father wanted to adopt her fiance as his son to inherit the family. But she and her fiance had sex before marriage and became pregnant, which was considered shameful and her fiancé felt unworthy of being her father's son and did not want to marry her. So she asked another family to adopt her unborn child. It reflects the feudal family ideology of some Japanese people in those years : for family inheritance , sons are preferred to daughters ; and marriage morality, women are required to be chaste.

1) Elizabeth Anderson was a executive director of a private adoption agency and Michelle was a caseworker. Michelle told Elizabeth there’s a Japanese girl,  Mariko Tanaka,she had a three months baby unborn,want to place her baby for adoption, baby’s father, Tomio Nagai , is Japanese but American also, intellectual , a war hero in the battle at Anzio,Italy.  The hero does not wish to proceed with the marriage .Elizabeth saw the girl and said: “ I think your family should know” , the girl said: “ My mother knows” Elizabeth told the girl she wanted to have a talk with her family. The girl said she’ll bring her mother here tomorrow.       
Leave office, Mariko met Tomio in the Park, said: “ You needn’t worry any more about the baby, I’ve arranged everything”.    

2)(A) The next day, Mariko’s mother, Mrs. Tanaka didn’t appear.So, Elizabeth was going to Tanaka house. Mrs.Tanaka told Elizabeth: “ It is difficult for you, an America lady, to understand. We areJapanese”, “ I have five daughters, Mariko is the eldest, I have no son.”. 
Mariko said: “ It is a problem in a Japanese family. My father wished Tomio to become his son legally. Tomio’s father killed himself, and the mother took poison. Tomio respects his father very much .” 
Mrs. Tanaka said: “Let me begin with myself .For Japanese women, the hope of success in marriage is to give husband a son.It is essential for a man to have a son . My husband’s young brother was killed in the Pacific during the war .We knew the parents of Tomio Nagai .Tomio is very proud .He cannot disgrace our family with a child of the sort we called ‘wild’.Tomio feels he was disgraced my husband , he is not worthy to be our son .He does not wish to marry Mariko .” “I cannot hurt my husband, he saved my life. In six years we had five daughters.Other women have sons, why not I? I reproached myself . So I tried again, it was too soon. The doctor said to my husband: ‘your wife is not responding well, I cannot save both the mother and the child, which shall I save?’ ‘Save her life’, my husband had whispered. I owe him everything. So how can I make him unhappy now? I will not tell him about the wild child .”
(B) Elizabeth went to see Tomio Nagai . She said: “ Mariko asked us to place the child for adoption as soon as it was born. I understand your wish  not to wound your father in law to be. But if you don’t become his son you will wound him anyway”.Tomio said: “ I no longer wish to marry”. He said he had begged Mariko several times after they were engaged. She resolutely refused him. He was not a virgin.  He thought of himself as American that time in the army. But he never expected how had it happened. His parents were died, when he came home he had met Mariko at the university where Dr. Tanaka was a professor. He was proud when Dr.Tanaka asked him to be his son. At that day, he told her: “ I love you differently today” and she had flung himself against him , cried: “I  love you”. They lay on the matted straw. I was appalled at what I had done. But how could I know that she would so weak. The baby doesn’t belong in that family.The baby would destroy the family .I can’t go to Dr.Tanaka and say, look I’ve made your daughter pregnant, I’ve let him down .
(C) Elizabeth had failed with Tomio, but she could go to Dr. Tanaka. Perhaps his heart would melt at the news of a grandchild, even though but a ‘wild’ one. Tomorrow morning, she went to his office. But it seemed impossible to tell the truth.
Dr. Tanaka told her :America has been too kind to me , I have become a citizen. In my will I asked to be buried in Japan, my ashes I must return to my ancestors .I have no son.There is no one to take my place in the family when I die.But now, I will have a son.……
3) It was indeed impossible to tell him. Then she went back to the office. She told Michelle: we must somehow help Mrs. Tanaka. The baby doesn’t belong in that family. We must take the baby and then Tomio Nagai must marry Mariko. And must keep the secret of the baby.
Then she made a call to Mrs. Tanaka .said: “ You must tell Mariko she has to marry Tomio if I take the baby. Tomio very much wants to be Dr. Tanaka’s son. But he has to understand that is his Japanese duty. Else Dr.Tanaka will have lost everything.  I will find the very best home for the baby”

4) I think:(A)It is not unethical for unmarried couples to engage in sexual activity before the formal wedding. This is different from the nature of extramarital affairs between married couples. It's unreasonable for Tomio to refuse to marry Mariko because of this. Dr. Tanaka should be happy for having a grandchild soon. 
(B) Giving birth to a boy and giving birth to a girl are the same, both boys and girls inherit the family. Mrs. Tanaka believes that the success of women's marriage was giving a son to their husband is too outdated, and society is progressing towards gender equality.