Stop Teaching. Start Listening.

Michael and I were classmates 40 years ago. A brilliant guy. Many years later, we reconnected in New York. He had two young children, and I visited his home with a little gift: a metal puzzle I considered nearly impossible.

To my surprise, his son — maybe in Grade 5 or 6 — solved it in minutes. Not by luck. This was a puzzle I had given to my own boss, a young and sharp Waterloo CS grad. A full year later, my boss still couldn’t crack it.

I started tutoring the boy and his younger sister, mostly in math and coding. They were both smart but had weak foundations. I wanted to give them time — to ponder, to wonder, to connect dots.

But their dad, Michael, had no patience for that.

He once pulled me aside and said proudly:

“Last night I spent just one hour teaching them Heron’s Formula for the area of a triangle. And also that beautiful geometric theorem — you know, 交叉弦定理.”

It hit me hard. In one hour? For two kids? No warm-up, no build-up? Just pour it all in and call it a win?

To me, that wasn’t teaching. That was performance.

I could see the kids’ eyes dimming. Math was becoming a nightmare — rushed, forced, joyless.

That boy had a rare spark. I saw it the moment he cracked the puzzle. But pressure and shortcuts were dimming it fast.

We need fewer parents who teach. We need more who listen.

Let the child lead — even if their path is slower, messier, or full of questions. Especially then.

After all, “get it right” is the fastest way to get it wrong.