铁盗游击队总食令
一切行动听圆盗，一切功劳归圆导。
ZT
My Self- Isolation Quarantine Diary:
Day 1 – I Can Do This! Got enough food and wine to last a month!
Day 2 – Opening my 8th bottle of Wine. I fear wine supplies might
not last!
Day 3 – Strawberries: Some have 210 seeds, some have 235
seeds. Who knew?
Day 4 – 8:00pm. Removed my Day Pajamas and put on my Night
Pajamas.
Day 5 – Today, I tried to make Hand Sanitizer. It came out as
Jello Shots!!
Day 6 – I get to take the Garbage out. I’m So excited, I can’t
decide what to wear.
Day 7 – Laughing way too much at my own jokes!
Day 8 – Went to a new restaurant called “The Kitchen”. You have
to gather all the ingredients and make your own meal. I have no
clue how this place is still in business.
Day 9 – I put liquor bottles in every room. Tonight, I’m getting all
dressed up and going bar hopping.
Day 10 – Struck up a conversation with a spider today. Seems
nice. He’s a Web Designer.
Day 11 – Isolation is hard. I swear my fridge just said, “What the
hell do you want now?”
Day 12 – I realized why dogs get so excited about something
moving outside, going for walks or car rides. I think I just barked
at a squirrel.
Day 13 – If you keep a glass of wine in each hand, you can’t
accidently touch your face.
Day 14 – Watched the birds fight over a worm. The Cardinals lead
the Blue Jays 3–1.
Day 15 – Anybody else feel like they’ve cooked dinner about 395
times this month?”
The New Facts of Life:
Half of us are going to come out of this quarantine as
amazing cooks. The other half will come out with a drinking
problem.
I used to spin that toilet paper like I was on Wheel of
Fortune. Now I turn it like I'm cracking a safe.
I need to practice social- distancing from the refrigerator.
PSA: every few days try your jeans on just to make
sure they fit. Pajamas will have you believe all is well in the
kingdom.
Homeschooling is going well. 2 students suspended for fighting
and 1 teacher fired for drinking on the job.
I don't think anyone expected that when we changed the
clocks we'd go from Standard Time to the Twilight Zone.
This morning I saw a neighbor talking to her cat. It was
obvious she thought her cat understood her. I came into my
house, told my dog. we laughed a lot.
After this quarantine, will the producers of My 600 Pound
Life just find me or do I find them?
My body has absorbed so much soap and disinfectant lately
that when I pee it cleans the toilet.
Day 5 of Homeschooling: One of these little monsters called
in a bomb threat
I hope the weather is good tomorrow for my trip to Puerto
Backyarda. I'm getting tired of Los Living Room.
Day 6 of Homeschooling: My child just said "I hope I don't
have the same teacher next year".... I’m offended.
Better 6 feet apart than 6 feet under.
保重！
So glad to see your post! stay home, and be safe!
Hahaha, “very funny” was the subject line when my boss forwarded this email to me.
王妃驾到，小盗四爪举杯相迎，祝王妃娘娘安康！
躲进圆宅，保住小命，先追麻雀，后看惊蛰，谢谢松松推荐！
抱紧边仙姑不放。。
猫生，猫生好吧！；）
亲爱的思韵，偶也喜欢蹲家。你不用赶路，太好了。非常的日子里，大家都要非常的小心！
期待读到思韵更多含金量非常高的文章！
亮亮最棒，亮亮妈妈最棒！小盗最爱亮亮妈妈！
My boss forwarded this to me. I like Day 13 the best. ；）
BTW，my husband ordered a case of wine online, it arrived yesterday.
I am working from home today, wearing pajamas, a glass of wine in each paw, 妙！；））
谢谢领导，都尝了一遍！
看看你的金子还在不在。。
中文不会写，只会写猫文。；）
问好土豆禾苗！
写猫文可以吗？；）
可以可以，本来就是盗来的，老板转发给圆工的。；）
祝你平安健康！