是爱还是伤？

 

“You are Green! I am Yellow!”, my daughter declared. “ I believe so, strongly!”, she confirmed.

 

When I was reading Spiral Dynamics, my 13-year old daughter became curious. She moved closer to me and was attracted by the colors represent stages of consciousness development. After a moment, she seemed figured it all out then made the above announcement. Spiral Dynamics is introduced in Chapter 1 of the book titled “Theory of Everything”. It is my first Ken Wilber’s book. I brought it on a tour to New York to kill the hours on the bus. Surprisingly, the book killed my tour instead. I was so fascinated by the book that anything or anyone else became distractions. I wish I could be left alone enjoying reading this book!

 

When first looking at the color diagram, I strongly against it. Human beings are born equally and there should be no superior or inferior. Even animals or plants are equal to human. Any forms of life should be treated seamlessly and respectfully. A life is a life, period. That is what I believe and that is also a undeniable sign of being a Green. As my daughter announced, she believes that I am Green who values inner world and equality of others. Although I cannot agree that she herself is Yellow (which is one level above Green), I do see in myself the color of Green. I would happily appreciate Spiral Dynamics, if the colors/human groups can be arranged horizontally instead of vertically.

 

In Chapter 2, Ken Wilber discussed about baby boomer generation, which consist a fairly above average share of Green. However, because of Green’s deny of hierarchy, Blue and Orange were accepted as they were thus would not develop further into Green. Green did not help but made damages in deeded. This made me think.

 

If awareness develops through various stages and no stage can be skipped, any attempts to accelerate the process will do no good but harm.  When “help” someone we care and love, are we kindly offering the heart or hurt? If it is actually hurt not heart, how much hurt I have made to my family? Friends are my family members chosen by heart, I would also question that how much damage I have done to them when sharing/pushing my thoughts about inner world when they are not interested? Especially for my daughter, an innocent teenager who is excited figuring out her future and the purpose of life, how mean I was to force an adult’s view of world on her in the terms of love? And how unreasonable I was to expect her to understand and manage her own emotions? What I can do now? I have no answers yet, and thinking about these questions hurts my heart deeply.

 

These are the first questions aroused when reading the book and they closely followed me days and nights. By the end of my 4 days tour, I finished reading the book. I decided to recommend it to my family and friends with a great wondering whether I am offering heart or hurt.

 

It is said that if one believes in every and each word written in a book, it is better he/she does not read any books at all. Ken Wilber said: “no one is smart enough to get everything wrong”.  In order to purposely get one thing wrong, one must know what is right. No one is intelligent enough to get everything right, so does Ken Wilber. After reading this book, I have been doing only one thing: questioning.