正文
45.《幽默的奥地利人》
多年以前，第一次访问欧洲，给我留下深刻印象的是奥地利人浓郁的幽默感。
1. 双头金鹰
维也纳的夏宫是旅游者的必访之地。富丽堂皇的宫殿内外、檐角墙头遍布浮雕和雕塑。
最引人注目的是双头金鹰雕像，牠立在夏宫门外广场前一对石柱的顶端。金光闪闪，展翅昂首，引颈欲飞。我们不由得驻足仰望，细细品味金鹰的意境。
奥地利朋友黄立人先生自豪地介绍说：“这是上一个世纪，称雄欧洲的奥匈帝国的象征。” 我们不由得肃然起敬起来。这时他又打断了我们的思绪问道：“猜猜这金鹰要飞往何方？”
待了一会，他不无调侃地说“一鸟双头，各望西东。奥匈帝国就像这双头鹰一样，违反自然规律，早已分裂瓦解，不复存在了！”
2. 饮酒退兵
八月末，九月初适逢奥地利葡萄酒节，在畅饮醇香味美的葡萄酒之余，不由得谈起有好酒量的奥地利人。
黄立人先生说：“战后初期，在维也纳还有苏联占领军驻守。维也纳市长与苏军司令常常饮宴相邀。彼此之间也常常以葡萄酒相敬相较。苏军司令是战场上的英雄，但在酒场上却是每饮必醉，每醉必倒。不得不向市长低头认输。
到苏军撤退之时， 维也纳市民欢呼庆祝结束占领，大游行时，人们抬起维也纳市长，恭维他是饮酒退兵的大功臣。
3. 音乐大军
在奥地利期间，注意到社会治安甚好。街道上绝少看到警察，更难得见到军人的踪影。 倒是音乐家的雕像和纪念地比比皆是。
黄立人博士自豪地说：“虽然我们没有强大的国防军，但是我们有一支名冠全球的音乐大军。莫扎特，施特劳就是司令和将军；富于音乐修养的奥地利人民就是他的士兵。
面对支战无不胜的音乐大军，希特勒，拿破伦，苏联红军都不得不甘拜下风。
4. 古拉什牛肉
在欧洲的大小饭店，常常见到一道匈牙利名菜 — 古拉什牛肉，味道类似天津起士林的红烩牛肉。在奥地利吃起来却别有一番风味，
一是那盛菜的家什，竟然是一只吊在弯弯小铁架上的小钢盔，下面放一盏酒精灯，青焰冉冉升起，钢盔里的菜肴咕嘟咕嘟冒泡。
二是奥地利朋友边吃边讲：“这道美食起源于第一次世界大战时，战场上的士兵昇起营火，架起钢盔；以就地捡拾的土豆和战死疆场的马肉一起烹煮而成。这苦中求生之举发展成为一道传世名菜：“古拉什牛肉” 寓意深远，它示人以和平生存的珍贵道理。
5. 最短的书
黄博士是名副其实的奥地利中国通，席次间讲述过一段笑话，他先问我们：“世界上最短的的三本书是什么？” 我们一时语滞，只好听其缓缓道来：“我的答案一是英国的食谱，二是德国的圣经，三是瑞士的笑话。”
这应该是奥地利人调侃周围的邻居的笑谈吧？在奥地利人看来，英国人生活十分简朴，食谱当然甚短； 德国人不在乎上帝，圣经自然简单；瑞士人严谨刻板，幽默感似乎少了些！
黄博士似乎认为，维也纳才是欧洲的心脏，犹如中国的上海。生活品味，音乐修养都是欧洲翘楚。细想起来，的确有几分道理。
6. 各有所长
后来居英期间，习惯了英国人的餐馆和家庭饮宴，食谱的确简单得很。一位请我参加家宴的主妇，端上桌的主菜就是一只烤羊腿，席前问我的问题竟然是：“你知道天安门广场坦克人的姓名吗？” 原来这位女君子也是食无求饱者呀。
在德国考查时，注意到德国人周日不一定去做弥撒。青年人也爱去市政厅举行简单的婚礼。谈话间往往涉及两德的未来和统一，也十分关注环境保护。一次在接待西德OTTO * 公司来访的CEO时，带他参观天津的建筑垃圾堆山工程现场时，他看到我们拆除后扔掉的整砖和半砖，心痛不已，大呼：“你们太浪费资源了。” 他说：“二战后重建家园时，我们连八分之一的砖头都不舍得丢掉啊！”
邻居瑞士人精准守时，说到做到。我的连襟是位瑞士机械师，做事务求完美，从来不说笑话。每次出国安装机器，会把一次出差的所有单据，车票，机票、门票、照片甚至地图整整齐齐的剪贴成册。他家的客厅里已经有几十本这样的纪念册，整整齐齐地放在书架上，等待主人的回顾。
每当回忆起在奥地利遇上的人和事，的确都有一种寓意隽永，回味无穷之感。再见吧，幽默的奥地利朋友！
再见吧，简朴、务实、刻板、守时的欧洲朋友！
笔者记于九十年代初，2021年12月定稿于美西硅谷。
?? 机器翻译
45. 《The HUMOROUS AUSTRIAN》
Many years ago, my first visit to Europe impressed me with the strong sense of humor of Austrians.
1. Double-headed golden eagle
The Summer Palace in Vienna is a must-visit place for tourists. The magnificent palace is full of reliefs and sculptures inside and outside, and on the corner walls.
The most eye-catching is the statue of the two-headed golden eagle, which stands at the top of a pair of stone pillars in front of the square outside the summer palace gate. The golden light shines, spreading its wings and holding its head high, attracting its neck to fly. We can\'t help but stop and look up and savor the artistic conception of the Golden Eagle.
Mr. Huang Liren, an Austrian friend, proudly introduced, This is the symbol of the Austro-Hungarian Empire that dominated Europe in the last century. We couldn\'t help awe-inspiring. At this time, he interrupted our thoughts and asked, Guess where the Golden Eagle is going to fly?
After a while, he joked, A bird with two heads, each looking west and east. The Austro-Hungarian Empire, like this two-headed eagle, violated the laws of nature, had long been divided and disintegrated, and no longer existed!
2. Drink and retreat.
Late August and early September coincide with the Austrian Wine Festival. In addition to drinking mellow and delicious wine, I can\'t help talking about Austrians who have a good amount of wine.
Mr. Huang Liren said, In the early post-war period, Soviet occupation forces were stationed in Vienna. The mayor of Vienna and the commander of the Soviet army often invite each other at dinner. They often respect each other with wine. The commander of the Soviet army is a hero on the battlefield, but in the winery, he will get drunk every time he drinks and falls down every time he gets drunk. I had to bow my head to the mayor and admit defeat.
When the Soviet army retreated, the citizens of Vienna cheered to celebrate the end of the occupation. During the parade, the mayor of Vienna was raised and complimented him as a great contributor to drinking and retreating troops.
3. Army of music
During my stay in Austria, I noticed that social security was very good. There are few policemen on the street, let alone soldiers. Instead, statues and memorials of musicians are everywhere.
Dr. Huang Liren said proudly, Although we don\'t have a strong national defense force, we have a world-renowned music army. Mozart, Straw is the commander and general; the musically cultivated Austrian people are his soldiers.
In the face of the invincible music army, Hitler, Napoleum and the Soviet Red Army all had to give in.
4. Gulash beef
In restaurants in Europe, we often see a famous Hungarian dish - Gulash beef, which tastes similar to the red stewed beef in Tianjin cheeselin. It tastes unique in Austria.
One is the dishhouse. It turned out to be a small helmet hanging from the curved iron frame. There was an alcohol lamp under it. The green flames rose slowly, and the dishes in the helmet were gurgling and bubbled.
Second, an Austrian friend said as he ate, This delicacy originated in World War I. Soldiers on the battlefield raised campfires and set up helmets; cooked potatoes picked up in place and horse meat in the battlefield. This struggle to survive has developed into a famous dish handed down from generation to generation: Gulashi Beef has a far-reaching meaning, and it shows the precious truth of peaceful survival.
5. The shortest book
Dr. Huang is a veritable Austrian Chinaton. During his seat, he told a joke. He first asked us, What are the shortest three books in the world? We were sluggish for a while, so we had to listen to it slowly: My answer is the British recipe, the German Bible, and the Swiss joke.
This should be an Austrian joke about the neighbors around him, right? To the Austrians, the British life is very simple, and the recipe is certainly very short; the Germans don\'t care about God, and the Bible is naturally simple; the Swiss are rigorous and rigid, and the sense of humor seems to be less!
Dr. Huang seems to think that Vienna is the heart of Europe, just like Shanghai in China. Life taste and music cultivation are all European leaders. Thinking about it, there is indeed some truth.
6. Each has their own strong points
Later, when I lived in the UK, I was used to British restaurants and family banquets. The recipe was really simple. A housewife who invited me to the family banquet served a roast leg of mutton. The question that asked me at the banquet turned out to be: Do you know the name of the tanker in Tiananmen Square? It turns out that this gentlewoman is also a man who can\'t eat enough.
During the German test, I noticed that Germans may not go to Mass on Sunday. Young people also like to go to the city hall for simple weddings. The conversation often involves the future and unity of the two virtues, and also pays great attention to environmental protection. Once in reception of the visiting CEO of West Germany OTTO * Company, he took him to visit the construction garbage dump project site in Tianjin. When he saw the whole bricks and half bricks we threw away after demolition, he was heartbroken and shouted, You are too waste of resources. He said, When we rebuild our homes after World War II, we are reluctant to throw away one-eighth of the bricks!
The neighbor Swiss is accurate and punctual, and he does what he says. My company is a Swiss mechanic. I do things for perfection and never tell jokes. Every time you go abroad to install a machine, all the receipts, tickets, tickets, tickets, photos and even maps of a business trip will be neatly clipped and pasted into a book. There are already dozens of such souvenir books in his living room, neatly placed on the bookshelf, waiting for the owner\'s review.
Whenever I recall the people and things I met in Austria, there is indeed a sense of meaningful meaning and endless aftertaste. Goodbye, humorous Austrian friend!
Goodbye, simple, pragmatic, rigid and punctual European friend!
The author recorded it in the early 1990s and was finalized in Silicon Valley in the United States in December 2021.
多年以前，第一次访问欧洲，给我留下深刻印象的是奥地利人浓郁的幽默感。
1. 双头金鹰
维也纳的夏宫是旅游者的必访之地。富丽堂皇的宫殿内外、檐角墙头遍布浮雕和雕塑。
最引人注目的是双头金鹰雕像，牠立在夏宫门外广场前一对石柱的顶端。金光闪闪，展翅昂首，引颈欲飞。我们不由得驻足仰望，细细品味金鹰的意境。
奥地利朋友黄立人先生自豪地介绍说：“这是上一个世纪，称雄欧洲的奥匈帝国的象征。” 我们不由得肃然起敬起来。这时他又打断了我们的思绪问道：“猜猜这金鹰要飞往何方？”
待了一会，他不无调侃地说“一鸟双头，各望西东。奥匈帝国就像这双头鹰一样，违反自然规律，早已分裂瓦解，不复存在了！”
2. 饮酒退兵
八月末，九月初适逢奥地利葡萄酒节，在畅饮醇香味美的葡萄酒之余，不由得谈起有好酒量的奥地利人。
黄立人先生说：“战后初期，在维也纳还有苏联占领军驻守。维也纳市长与苏军司令常常饮宴相邀。彼此之间也常常以葡萄酒相敬相较。苏军司令是战场上的英雄，但在酒场上却是每饮必醉，每醉必倒。不得不向市长低头认输。
到苏军撤退之时， 维也纳市民欢呼庆祝结束占领，大游行时，人们抬起维也纳市长，恭维他是饮酒退兵的大功臣。
3. 音乐大军
在奥地利期间，注意到社会治安甚好。街道上绝少看到警察，更难得见到军人的踪影。 倒是音乐家的雕像和纪念地比比皆是。
黄立人博士自豪地说：“虽然我们没有强大的国防军，但是我们有一支名冠全球的音乐大军。莫扎特，施特劳就是司令和将军；富于音乐修养的奥地利人民就是他的士兵。
面对支战无不胜的音乐大军，希特勒，拿破伦，苏联红军都不得不甘拜下风。
4. 古拉什牛肉
在欧洲的大小饭店，常常见到一道匈牙利名菜 — 古拉什牛肉，味道类似天津起士林的红烩牛肉。在奥地利吃起来却别有一番风味，
一是那盛菜的家什，竟然是一只吊在弯弯小铁架上的小钢盔，下面放一盏酒精灯，青焰冉冉升起，钢盔里的菜肴咕嘟咕嘟冒泡。
二是奥地利朋友边吃边讲：“这道美食起源于第一次世界大战时，战场上的士兵昇起营火，架起钢盔；以就地捡拾的土豆和战死疆场的马肉一起烹煮而成。这苦中求生之举发展成为一道传世名菜：“古拉什牛肉” 寓意深远，它示人以和平生存的珍贵道理。
5. 最短的书
黄博士是名副其实的奥地利中国通，席次间讲述过一段笑话，他先问我们：“世界上最短的的三本书是什么？” 我们一时语滞，只好听其缓缓道来：“我的答案一是英国的食谱，二是德国的圣经，三是瑞士的笑话。”
这应该是奥地利人调侃周围的邻居的笑谈吧？在奥地利人看来，英国人生活十分简朴，食谱当然甚短； 德国人不在乎上帝，圣经自然简单；瑞士人严谨刻板，幽默感似乎少了些！
黄博士似乎认为，维也纳才是欧洲的心脏，犹如中国的上海。生活品味，音乐修养都是欧洲翘楚。细想起来，的确有几分道理。
6. 各有所长
后来居英期间，习惯了英国人的餐馆和家庭饮宴，食谱的确简单得很。一位请我参加家宴的主妇，端上桌的主菜就是一只烤羊腿，席前问我的问题竟然是：“你知道天安门广场坦克人的姓名吗？” 原来这位女君子也是食无求饱者呀。
在德国考查时，注意到德国人周日不一定去做弥撒。青年人也爱去市政厅举行简单的婚礼。谈话间往往涉及两德的未来和统一，也十分关注环境保护。一次在接待西德OTTO * 公司来访的CEO时，带他参观天津的建筑垃圾堆山工程现场时，他看到我们拆除后扔掉的整砖和半砖，心痛不已，大呼：“你们太浪费资源了。” 他说：“二战后重建家园时，我们连八分之一的砖头都不舍得丢掉啊！”
邻居瑞士人精准守时，说到做到。我的连襟是位瑞士机械师，做事务求完美，从来不说笑话。每次出国安装机器，会把一次出差的所有单据，车票，机票、门票、照片甚至地图整整齐齐的剪贴成册。他家的客厅里已经有几十本这样的纪念册，整整齐齐地放在书架上，等待主人的回顾。
每当回忆起在奥地利遇上的人和事，的确都有一种寓意隽永，回味无穷之感。再见吧，幽默的奥地利朋友！
再见吧，简朴、务实、刻板、守时的欧洲朋友！
笔者记于九十年代初，2021年12月定稿于美西硅谷。
?? 机器翻译
45. 《The HUMOROUS AUSTRIAN》
Many years ago, my first visit to Europe impressed me with the strong sense of humor of Austrians.
1. Double-headed golden eagle
The Summer Palace in Vienna is a must-visit place for tourists. The magnificent palace is full of reliefs and sculptures inside and outside, and on the corner walls.
The most eye-catching is the statue of the two-headed golden eagle, which stands at the top of a pair of stone pillars in front of the square outside the summer palace gate. The golden light shines, spreading its wings and holding its head high, attracting its neck to fly. We can\'t help but stop and look up and savor the artistic conception of the Golden Eagle.
Mr. Huang Liren, an Austrian friend, proudly introduced, This is the symbol of the Austro-Hungarian Empire that dominated Europe in the last century. We couldn\'t help awe-inspiring. At this time, he interrupted our thoughts and asked, Guess where the Golden Eagle is going to fly?
After a while, he joked, A bird with two heads, each looking west and east. The Austro-Hungarian Empire, like this two-headed eagle, violated the laws of nature, had long been divided and disintegrated, and no longer existed!
2. Drink and retreat.
Late August and early September coincide with the Austrian Wine Festival. In addition to drinking mellow and delicious wine, I can\'t help talking about Austrians who have a good amount of wine.
Mr. Huang Liren said, In the early post-war period, Soviet occupation forces were stationed in Vienna. The mayor of Vienna and the commander of the Soviet army often invite each other at dinner. They often respect each other with wine. The commander of the Soviet army is a hero on the battlefield, but in the winery, he will get drunk every time he drinks and falls down every time he gets drunk. I had to bow my head to the mayor and admit defeat.
When the Soviet army retreated, the citizens of Vienna cheered to celebrate the end of the occupation. During the parade, the mayor of Vienna was raised and complimented him as a great contributor to drinking and retreating troops.
3. Army of music
During my stay in Austria, I noticed that social security was very good. There are few policemen on the street, let alone soldiers. Instead, statues and memorials of musicians are everywhere.
Dr. Huang Liren said proudly, Although we don\'t have a strong national defense force, we have a world-renowned music army. Mozart, Straw is the commander and general; the musically cultivated Austrian people are his soldiers.
In the face of the invincible music army, Hitler, Napoleum and the Soviet Red Army all had to give in.
4. Gulash beef
In restaurants in Europe, we often see a famous Hungarian dish - Gulash beef, which tastes similar to the red stewed beef in Tianjin cheeselin. It tastes unique in Austria.
One is the dishhouse. It turned out to be a small helmet hanging from the curved iron frame. There was an alcohol lamp under it. The green flames rose slowly, and the dishes in the helmet were gurgling and bubbled.
Second, an Austrian friend said as he ate, This delicacy originated in World War I. Soldiers on the battlefield raised campfires and set up helmets; cooked potatoes picked up in place and horse meat in the battlefield. This struggle to survive has developed into a famous dish handed down from generation to generation: Gulashi Beef has a far-reaching meaning, and it shows the precious truth of peaceful survival.
5. The shortest book
Dr. Huang is a veritable Austrian Chinaton. During his seat, he told a joke. He first asked us, What are the shortest three books in the world? We were sluggish for a while, so we had to listen to it slowly: My answer is the British recipe, the German Bible, and the Swiss joke.
This should be an Austrian joke about the neighbors around him, right? To the Austrians, the British life is very simple, and the recipe is certainly very short; the Germans don\'t care about God, and the Bible is naturally simple; the Swiss are rigorous and rigid, and the sense of humor seems to be less!
Dr. Huang seems to think that Vienna is the heart of Europe, just like Shanghai in China. Life taste and music cultivation are all European leaders. Thinking about it, there is indeed some truth.
6. Each has their own strong points
Later, when I lived in the UK, I was used to British restaurants and family banquets. The recipe was really simple. A housewife who invited me to the family banquet served a roast leg of mutton. The question that asked me at the banquet turned out to be: Do you know the name of the tanker in Tiananmen Square? It turns out that this gentlewoman is also a man who can\'t eat enough.
During the German test, I noticed that Germans may not go to Mass on Sunday. Young people also like to go to the city hall for simple weddings. The conversation often involves the future and unity of the two virtues, and also pays great attention to environmental protection. Once in reception of the visiting CEO of West Germany OTTO * Company, he took him to visit the construction garbage dump project site in Tianjin. When he saw the whole bricks and half bricks we threw away after demolition, he was heartbroken and shouted, You are too waste of resources. He said, When we rebuild our homes after World War II, we are reluctant to throw away one-eighth of the bricks!
The neighbor Swiss is accurate and punctual, and he does what he says. My company is a Swiss mechanic. I do things for perfection and never tell jokes. Every time you go abroad to install a machine, all the receipts, tickets, tickets, tickets, photos and even maps of a business trip will be neatly clipped and pasted into a book. There are already dozens of such souvenir books in his living room, neatly placed on the bookshelf, waiting for the owner\'s review.
Whenever I recall the people and things I met in Austria, there is indeed a sense of meaningful meaning and endless aftertaste. Goodbye, humorous Austrian friend!
Goodbye, simple, pragmatic, rigid and punctual European friend!
The author recorded it in the early 1990s and was finalized in Silicon Valley in the United States in December 2021.
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