I never had to worry about my older son until a couple of years ago. In grade schools, he was always a very good student, and excelled academically all the way through without much effort on his part. With many academic achievements under his belt, such as 2370/2400 SAT score, class valedictorian, perfect GPA, many awards/or prizes in math contests, quiz bowls and science fairs, et al., it seemed that there was no reason for us not to have high expectation of him. Over the years, we had saved for him to go to an Ivy League school, and had taken him to tour the campuses of several prestigious universities/colleges.
When it was the time for him to apply to college, he did not want any input from us. He only applied for four schools - MIT, Stanford, and two schools within the state. Knowing that MIT and Stanford are notorious for rejecting Asian boys, we suggested him to apply more schools, such as Cal Tech and Princeton, but he refused to do so. As expected, he was declined by both MIT and Stanford, and ended up in a school in the state. Well, I was OK with his decision and happy for him. What is that old saying? – Real gold will shine (I am just joking here). He made very decent grades so far in the college, and it seems that he is on his way to have a decent job, good salary, and comfortable life after he graduates from the college.
But recently, I started having an unsettling feeling, sensing that my son is missing something very important. For example, this year he applied for summer internships only at two places, CIA and Intel, but so far he has not heard anything from them, and we are almost certain that he will not get one. Although we could help him get an internship at a local company, he refuses to go and would rather stay home the whole summer. We tried every way to persuade him to do something, but it seems that he is so out of touch with us and with the real world, and we could not get our message across.
This is just an example. It seems that he is always laid-back and takes it easy. He just let things come to him, and never try to make things happen. He lacks the inner drive and desire that would take him to his rightful place. Well, it is his life. If it is what he wants, it is fine with me as a parent. But sometimes I can’t help thinking - is it that life is about discovering your passion and making splashes? Should young people make a full use of their talents and develop their potential.
Indeed, it takes a lot to succeed, and the inner drive is one of the key elements. But I know that my son is an adult now. I respect his choices for his life, and try not to impose my views and values upon him.
