Even by the end of the last year, when I stood here dealing with the topic of death, I still couldn't help crying. But, by the amazing grace of God, who keeps working on my heart, now, finally I am able to conquer the fear of death. Because Jesus, the son of God, conquered death 2000 years ago today for us. Thank God, he separated the Red Sea in front of me. Everyday I spend, I feel like passing the Red Sea with joy and thankfulness.
And at the other side of the Red Sea, it is Jordan, the promised beautiful land of the God, which is heaven, our final destination. Now, I can truly embrace death with a big smile, with no pain, no fear! Just like Dr. Martin Luther King Jr., at the end of his famous speech " I have a Dream", said: " Free at last - , free at last - , thank God, we are free at the last ----! ". It's my choice of not being terrified by the death's threat. Death can take my body, but it can't take away my joy, my pride, and my soul.
在红海的尽头，就是神所应许的迦南美地，就是天堂，基督徒的最终目的地。 现在，我可以带着明朗的微笑与死亡来拥抱，没有痛苦，没有悲哀，没有恐惧！ 就像马丁。路德金在他的著名演讲《我有一个梦想》结尾时所说：“终获自由，终获自由，感谢神，我们最终赢得了自由！---- ” 死亡它可以选择来威胁我，我亦可以选择不被死亡所吓倒。死亡它可以拿走我的肉体，但它拿不走我的喜乐，我的自豪，我的灵魂！
All the cancer patients would love to see " NED" - " No Evidences of Disease" at their CAT scan reports. I still have a lot black shades here and there. But, thank God, I can now at least make my heart " NED".
And, when my last day finally comes, let's celebrate Jenny's victory over the unthinkable hardship in her life which only the God knows, and, celebrate a soul which finally goes all the way to her glorious creator.
There people are standing taller than me in front of this biggest challenge of our life. I get on a cancer patient network ( called " Inspire" ) everyday. It is truly inspiring me. There is an un-met friend called Craig. Once he told me that his biggest worry of final days were not how to get helps, how to die better. He wrote: " I'd like to die on my new kitchen floor, but, my lungs need to be packed in ice right away and reach a research center in 4 hours. If it exceeds 24 hours, there would be hardly any values left. So, if I feel dying, I'll take a last trip to Boston ( he lives in PA), die there for Dr. Shaw, so she can take my lungs immediately for research..." When I read this, my eyes were blurred with tears. Craig is our star at this site, he is a great researcher, knows better than most of the doctors. He helped a lot of people like me. And at the last moment of life, all he is thinking is how to sacrifice himself, even leave his own favorite place, leave his family and friends who would be so important at that moment, go to somewhere else for the sake of more, future and other cancer patients who are completely strangers of him.
As for Dr. Shaw, she is one of the greatest, pioneer doctors to make the cancer drug we use available to save life. And she is American Chinese, so young, talented, pretty, on top of these, having a big heart. I once saw a patient wrote: " Dr. Shaw wrote me a short note to tell him do not worry, she would get back to me after sending her young kids to the beds! " So it tells that Dr. Shaw is a busy mom, and she even works late at home for the patients.
To me, Mr. Craig and Dr. Shaw are true heroes, it is this kind of people who are the backbone of our society, make America a great country. They cleansed my heart, makes me think what is the best value as a member of our human race.
My oncologist once told me that many of his patients spend a lot of time at casinos. He asked them why, they said, when gambling, they forget about cancer! What a waste of the life! There is one slogan said: " YOLO" -- an abbreviation of " You Only Live Once". Life is precious, worth to fight for, to live it out. I have made my determination to enjoy it, carry on with beauty, courage and dignity, walk with God, for no matter ahead or in front of me, long or short.
我的癌科医生有一次告诉我，他的许多病人都常常泡在赌场上。他就好奇地问他们为什么，答曰：”医生，我只有在赌博的强烈刺激下，才能忘却癌症这个魔鬼！“ 这真是对有限生命的天大浪费！有一句口号说：”YOLO"， 这是“你仅活一次”的缩写。生命极为珍贵，值得我们为之而战，将它活出来。我已下定决心，要享受神赋予我的生命，带着美好，带着勇气，带着尊严，跟随主的脚踪，走下去，无论在我面前摆放的是什么，生命或长或短！
Let's all follow Paul, the apostle, walk with God, fight a good fight, run a home run!