面对死亡：从眼泪到微笑

复活节，在一个华人教会里的发言 -

Even by the end of the last year, when I stood here dealing with the topic of death, I still couldn't help crying.  But, by the amazing grace of God, who keeps working on my heart, now, finally I am able to conquer the fear of death.  Because Jesus, the son of God, conquered death 2000 years ago today for us.  Thank God, he separated the Red Sea in front of me.  Everyday I spend, I feel like passing the Red Sea with joy and thankfulness.

即便在去年岁末，当我站在这里在追思会上谈论死亡这个话题时，仍忍不住泪下。但神的奇异恩典降临到我，他不断地在我身上做工，现在，我终于战胜了对死亡的恐惧。因为神的儿子耶稣在2000年前的今天为我们战胜了死亡。感谢神，他在我面前为我分开了红海的惊涛骇浪。每一天我活着，都是感到是在穿越红海，满怀喜乐，满怀感恩。

And at the other side of the Red Sea, it is Jordan, the promised beautiful land of the God, which is heaven, our final destination.    Now,  I can truly embrace death with a big smile, with no pain, no fear!  Just like Dr. Martin Luther King Jr., at the end of his famous speech " I have a Dream", said:  " Free at last - , free at last - , thank God, we are free at the last ----! ".  It's my choice of not being terrified by the death's threat.  Death can take my body, but it can't take away my joy, my pride, and my soul.

在红海的尽头，就是神所应许的迦南美地，就是天堂，基督徒的最终目的地。 现在，我可以带着明朗的微笑与死亡来拥抱，没有痛苦，没有悲哀，没有恐惧！ 就像马丁。路德金在他的著名演讲《我有一个梦想》结尾时所说：“终获自由，终获自由，感谢神，我们最终赢得了自由！---- ” 死亡它可以选择来威胁我，我亦可以选择不被死亡所吓倒。死亡它可以拿走我的肉体，但它拿不走我的喜乐，我的自豪，我的灵魂！

 

All the cancer patients would love to see " NED" - " No Evidences of Disease" at their CAT scan reports.  I still have a lot black shades here and there.  But, thank God, I can now at least make my heart " NED". 

所有的癌症病人都希望在检查报告上看到写着“NED",  就是”没有疾病迹象“的缩写。我身上仍有着多处的阴影，但我至少可以在内心做到”NED".

 

And, when my last day finally comes, let's celebrate Jenny's victory over the unthinkable hardship in her life which only the God knows,  and, celebrate a soul which finally goes all the way to her glorious creator.  

当我的最后一天终于到来，请你们与我一起庆祝Jenny姐妹战胜了常人难以想象的、唯有神知晓的人生磨难，庆祝她的灵魂飞到了那荣耀的创造者的身边。

 

There people are standing taller than me in front of this biggest challenge of our life.  I get on a cancer patient network ( called " Inspire" ) everyday.  It is truly inspiring me.  There is an un-met friend called Craig.  Once he told me that his biggest worry of final days were not how to get helps, how to die better.   He wrote: " I'd like to die on my new kitchen floor, but, my lungs need to be packed in ice right away and reach a research center in 4 hours.  If it exceeds 24 hours, there would be hardly any values left.  So, if I feel dying, I'll take a last trip to Boston ( he lives in PA), die there for Dr. Shaw, so she can take my lungs immediately for research..."  When I read this, my eyes were blurred with tears.  Craig is our star at this site, he is a great researcher, knows better than most of the doctors.  He helped a lot of people like me.  And at the last moment of life, all he is thinking is how to sacrifice himself, even leave his own favorite place, leave his family and friends who would be so important at that moment, go to somewhere else for the sake of more, future and other cancer patients who are completely strangers of him. 

在死神面前，还有人更为昂然地屹立。我每天都上一个癌友的网站叫做“激励网”。它真的激励到我。有个未曾谋面的网友克瑞格。有次他谈到他最大的临终忧虑不是怎样得到救援，怎样更好地死去。他写道：“我宁愿躺卧在我的厨房的新瓷砖上死去，但我的肺需要死后尽快地裹上冰，在4小时内飞寄到医研中心。若超出了24小时，就没了什么科研价值。所以，若我预感死亡将至，我就会采取最后的一次旅行，飞到波士顿，在邵医生面前死去，这样，她可以马上採肺来研究。。。“ 当我读到这里，我模糊了泪眼。克瑞格是我们网站极受欢迎的人物。他长于搜索资料，知识比大多数的癌科医生还丰富，他帮助过包括我在内的许多人。但，在生命的最后时刻，他满心想着的是怎样奉献自己，即使是意味着离开心爱的居所，离开此时最需要的至爱亲朋，为了更多的、将来的、其他的癌症病人，即便他们对他是百分百的陌生人。

As for Dr. Shaw, she is one of the greatest, pioneer doctors to make the cancer drug we use available to save life.  And she is American Chinese, so young, talented, pretty, on top of these, having a big heart.  I once saw a patient wrote:  " Dr. Shaw wrote me a short note to tell him do not worry, she would get back to me after sending her young kids to the beds! "  So it tells that Dr. Shaw is a busy mom, and she even works late at home for the patients.

至于邵医生，她是美国杰出的，最前沿的肺癌专家之一，她主导了新药的试验及上市，帮助拯救了成千上万的人。她是一位美籍华人，年轻美丽，才华横溢，更为可贵的是，她有一颗仁厚之心。有一次我看见一名癌友写道：”邵医生给我发了短信叫我不要担心，等她的年幼的孩子们上床安睡后，就会回信答疑“。由此看来，邵医生是一位繁忙的母亲，但她晚上在家还挤时间为病人工作。

 

To me, Mr. Craig and Dr. Shaw are true heroes, it is this kind of people who are the backbone of our society, make America a great country.  They cleansed my heart, makes me think what is the best value as a member of our human race.  

对我来说，克瑞格和邵医生是真正的英雄。正是这样的人组成了我们社会的脊梁，使得美国成为了一个伟大的国家。他们净化着我的灵魂，使我思考作为人类众生中的一员，什么是我个人应该具有的价值。

 

My oncologist once told me that many of his patients spend a lot of time at casinos.  He asked them why, they said, when gambling, they forget about cancer!  What a waste of the life!  There is one slogan said: " YOLO"  -- an abbreviation  of " You Only Live Once".  Life is precious, worth to fight for, to live it out.  I have made my determination to enjoy it, carry on with beauty, courage and dignity, walk with God, for no matter ahead or in front of me, long or short. 

我的癌科医生有一次告诉我，他的许多病人都常常泡在赌场上。他就好奇地问他们为什么，答曰：”医生，我只有在赌博的强烈刺激下，才能忘却癌症这个魔鬼！“ 这真是对有限生命的天大浪费！有一句口号说：”YOLO"， 这是“你仅活一次”的缩写。生命极为珍贵，值得我们为之而战，将它活出来。我已下定决心，要享受神赋予我的生命，带着美好，带着勇气，带着尊严，跟随主的脚踪，走下去，无论在我面前摆放的是什么，生命或长或短！

Let's all follow Paul, the apostle, walk with God, fight a good fight, run a home run!
让我们都像使徒保罗那样，跟随主，打一场美好的仗，跑一个漂亮的全程！

 

Happy Easter! 

复活节快乐！ 

 

Jenny

 

[走马读人]

Jenny -- beautiful name

[与癌抗争]

一路走好。

[Starock]

There is honor in a well lived life! Pray for you and your family! R.I.P

[明紫]

安息！向你致敬！

[加州花坊]

美好的仗你打完了，现在你到神的乐园，安息在主怀里了。常青人生的朋友们会想念你，我们也会为你和你的家人祷告，愿神安慰你的家人，并赐平安给他们。

[康建]

jenny 的文章还是一样的感人。你还好吧。文学城的标题有点怪。

[Gizmos]

息了这世上的劳苦，安睡在主的怀里。

[清水龙虾]

我们因爱而平安，也因爱而依依不舍。一路走好！