当我真正开始爱自己

  “爱自己”这一词在现在这年头几乎成为陈词滥调了， 但对于怎样才算真正爱自己，我们还是懵懵懂懂， 一知半解。

  爱自己与“好好吃饭，“ 想开点好好享乐”， “不要太节约了， 为自己花钱吧”， “早睡早起”......固然有点联系，但这仅是物质层面的， 所谓爱自己应该远超出这个范畴吧。

  路易斯 海曾说： “爱自己就是绝不批评自己”。

  读网上流传的查理 卓别林 《当我真正开始爱自己》， 感觉更多精神层面的深一层次的爱自己。

  第一次读到时， 曾有点震惊， 莫名地感动。摘录在下面。

  网上也有论据说并不是他写的诗，因为某些原因， 被误认为他写的。 但并不妨碍我们从这首诗里学到什么是真正的爱自己。

  对我而言，读后我的一些共鸣是：

  -当我痛苦难过时，我所做的某些事或与某些人的相处，往往是背离了我的内心真正的需求。

  我需要检思究竟什么是我内心想要的？！遵从自己的内心， 好好去调节自己的生活， 才能回归到真实的自己， 才会有内心的安宁。

  -“当我将自己的意愿强加于人时，是多么的冒犯无礼，……，那个人也并未做好准备，即便那个人就是我自己。今日我明白这叫做「尊重」。”

  Boundary, boundary ！！人与人的边界感，一定要学会建立。尤其与自己的伴侣，与子女家人。尊重自己， 才会尊重别人。试图控制别人的生活， 是丑陋的。

  -“当我开始真正爱自己，我开始远离所有不健康的东西，不论是饮食、人物、事情亦或环境。”

  我学习要戒断零食和不健康的食品。也要远离不健康的人和事情。

  -“每件事的发生也都恰如其分。”

  我愿意试试接纳我生命中的所有一切， 与之对抗， 就好像拿头去撞墙， 反而损害了自己的身心， 消耗了宝贵的能量。

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                当我开始爱自己

当我真正开始爱自己，我才意识到，所有的痛苦和情感的折磨，仅仅是在提醒，我的生活背离了真实的自己。今日，我明白，这叫做「真实」。

当我真正开始爱自己，我才懂得，当我将自己的意愿强加于人时，是多么的冒犯无礼，即使那时我知晓时机尚未成熟，那个人也并未做好准备，即便那个人就是我自己。今日我明白这叫做「尊重」。

当我开始真正爱自己，我不再苛求不一样的人生，我明白任何发生在我身边的事，都是对我成长的邀约。而今，我称之为「成熟」。

当我开始真正爱自己，我才明白在任何情况下，我其实一直处于恰好的时机、恰好的地方，而每件事的发生也都恰如其分。由此，我得以平静。今日，我称其为「自信」。

当我开始真正爱自己，我不再挥霍自己生命和时间，不再去擘画波澜壮阔的未来。今天的我，只做能为我带来喜悦和幸福的事，做那些我所热爱，且能鼓舞我心的事情，用我特有的方式，按照我自己的节奏。今日我知晓这叫做「简单」。

当我开始真正爱自己，我开始远离所有不健康的东西，不论是饮食、人物、事情亦或环境，远离拖累我、让我背离了真实自我的一切。从前的我称呼这为“有益健康的利己主义”。今天我知道，这其实是「自爱」。

当我开始真正爱自己，我不再总想做到永远正确，从那时起，我犯错的时候反而更少了。现在我发现那就是「谦逊」。

当我开始真正爱自己，我不再继续沉溺于过去，也不再为明天而忧虑。如今，我只活在这一切正在发生的当下。今天，我活在此时此地，如此日复一日，而我称这为「圆满」。

当我真正开始爱自己，我明白，我的思虑扰乱了自我，使我变得了无生趣。但当我与本心相连，心灵的力量就成为了我坚实的后盾。今日我称这种连结为「心灵的智慧」。

我们无需再害怕生命中的争论、冲突，或是任何出现在与我们自己或与其他人之间的问题。因为即使是星星也会有碰撞在一起的时候，而从它们的撞击中，新的世界将会诞生。今天我知道，这，就是「生活」！

As I Began to Love Myself

As I began to love myself I found that anguish and emotional suffering are only warning signs that I was living against my own truth. Today, I know, this is AUTHENTICITY.

As I began to love myself I understood how much it can offend somebody as I try to force my desires on this person, even though I knew the time was not right and the person was not ready for it, and even though this person was me. Today I call it RESPECT.

As I began to love myself I stopped craving for a different life, and I could see that everything that surrounded me was inviting me to grow. Today I call it MATURITY.

As I began to love myself I understood that at any circumstance, I am in the right place at the right time, and everything happens at the exactly right moment, so I could be calm. Today I call it SELF-CONFIDENCE.

As I began to love myself I quit stealing my own time, and I stopped designing huge projects for the future. Today, I only do what brings me joy and happiness, things I love to do and that make my heart cheer, and I do them in my own way and in my own rhythm. Today I call it SIMPLICITY.

As I began to love myself I freed myself of anything that is no good for my health – food, people, things, situations, and everything that drew me down and away from myself. At first I called this attitude a healthy egoism. Today I know it is LOVE OF ONESELF.

As I began to love myself I quit trying to always be right, and ever since I was wrong less of the time. Today I discovered that is MODESTY.

As I began to love myself I refused to go on living in the past and worry about the future. Now, I only live for the moment, where EVERYTHING is happening. Today I live each day, day by day, and I call it FULFILLMENT.

As I began to love myself I recognized that my mind can disturb me and it can make me sick. But As I connected it to my heart, my mind became a valuable ally. Today I call this connection WISDOM OF THE HEART.

We no longer need to fear arguments, confrontations or any kind of problems with ourselves or others. Even stars collide, and out of their crashing new worlds are born. Today I know THAT IS LIFE!