Once my baby was sick. she had fever at midnight. I couldn't find any medicine for her and asked him to buy some(I only had student driver license at the time). He got so mad and acused me "just don't want him to sleep". I told him "get in bed and I'll walk to Walgreens". We lived on the campus which is located in the most unsafe zone in the city. I went to buy Tylenol while he sat on sofa being mad.
When my baby was 2 years old. He saw an email that one of my profesors sent to me on Valentine's day. The email is nothing but some blessing words. But he got very mad and questioned me why he sent it to me on Valentine's Day. We had a big arguement and I thought about to move away. It was my baby who stopped me, she always called 'baba' so loud and with excitement when she saw him. I imagined how disappointed she would be when she couldn't see his dad. He should thank my baby for it. Then we both found a job here and we moved.
I really cann't remember all the "stories" between us after so many years. but I do know that I had hope for the first few years of marriage. My hope had been losing due to infinitely arguing and had nothing left. My heart became frozen and I started focus on my daughter for a long time already . I tried to have some conversition with him about the matter. Everytime he got angry quickly and it ended with nothing solved. I stopped that effort then and started to ignore his "unpleasant" words from his mouth. I had been tired of argument and felt no strength for it at all.
I felt lonely with no one to share any of these feelings. once I told a lady(who I thought as a friend though I didn't know her for long because we just moved here) some of these family matter, another lady asked me about it the very next day. Well, I realized I better to keep all these to myself.
My daughter started asking for a baby when she was in preschool. She is a honest sweet girl but a little timid. I worry about her sometimes. I thought about another baby for a long time and decided to get the 2nd child. I wanted my daughter to have a sister or brother whom she can always trust and get support with. My son was born when she was five -years old. She loved her baby brother and give him a nick name. She helped to feed, bath and dress him. I fell satisfied when they are so close to each other. They are still very close today.
